By Marcella Petillo
**October Round-Up Challenge **
Joe
“Darn it, why is it so cold? I’m afraid it’s going to snow a lot sooner than expected!” I pull a blanket tightly around my shoulders to find a little warmth as the wagon wheels roll along the road. I’ve almost finished my round of repairing and supplying the line cabins; this year it was my turn, and I’ve been on the road for more than a week with the wagon full of supplies and work tools.
Alone. I hate doing this job alone! If only Hoss had come with me! Traveling with him is always nice, and when the two of us are together, time passes quickly. We laugh, joke around like a couple of fools, tell each other things, things that stay just between us…and the nights aren’t lonely.
Spending so much time alone makes me think too much…and I end up talking out loud. During the day, there’s work to do, and time passes. During the winter, bad weather damages the cabins, and repairs are necessary. Finding a well-equipped line cabin can make the difference between life and death; I know that well, but at night…being alone at night is another matter.
Lately, I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I have so many thoughts, so many questions that find no answers, a subtle melancholy, even regrets about what could have been but wasn’t. In the evening, in bed, even if I’m tired, as soon as I lay my head on the pillow, my mind starts galloping, and my thoughts crowd together and become tangled. And if I’m alone away from home, it’s even worse! Could it be autumn? Who knows…
Maybe I’m just growing up, or getting old; anyway, I’m a grown man, and I have my responsibilities at the ranch. Adam has been away for quite some time now. Hoss, fortunately, is as steady as ever, and Pa is still a lion, but I’ve noticed that the silver in his hair has increased, and not by a little. Time waits for no one.
*****
Ben entered the stable where Hoss was thoroughly grooming Cochise, tilted his head to one side, and watched.
“He looks in good shape. Is he all right? When Joe gets back, he’ll want to go for a good, full-speed ride! You know your brother!”
“Of course! That’s why I’m getting his horse ready! Little brother will be back soon, and this young fellow has been standing still for more than a week. He’s itching to run, too!”
Father and son smiled at each other, then Ben glanced outside.
“Let’s hope Joe gets to go on that ride. The weather doesn’t look promising; it’s mighty cold, and I’m afraid we’ll have snow early this year! I hope your brother manages to get home in time.”
“Pa, there’s no problem. Joe will be home soon, you’ll see. At most, we’ll get a little flurry of snow, but it won’t last, not yet. My knees tell me so!”
“Oh?! Then we can trust them. Your knees are never wrong!”
Ben laughed heartily and headed toward the house.
*****
“I’ll be home soon. I can’t wait! They probably aren’t expecting me back so soon, and it’ll be a surprise! The last cabin didn’t need any repairs, and I was quick to restock it. It was real good luck, which saved me precious time!” Joe smiled with satisfaction.
He had barely finished speaking when small, swirling snowflakes began dancing around him. He managed to travel a few more miles as the snowfall grew heavier and turned into a real blizzard. The icy wind cut into his skin, and the swirling flakes, growing larger and denser by the minute, prevented him from seeing.
It was impossible to go on; he had to find shelter, and quickly! Joe looked around, unable to make out almost anything, then his eyes settled on a precise landmark, and he realized exactly where he was.
He hadn’t been there since…since when…
“Oh, my God…no!”
The last thing in the world he wanted was to stop in that place, but he knew he had no choice. The team was beginning to grow restless; the road had disappeared before him, and the blizzard was raging. Joe slowly made his way toward the small cabin he knew was nearby. Once, it had been one of his favorite places; once, it had been prepared so they could spend happy days there…
Joe brought the team to shelter, took a few steps, and slowly opened the door. He found the lamp on the table, lit it, and the past came crashing down on him like a bucket of ice-cold water. Everything had remained as it was. Joe’s teeth were chattering, and not only because of the cold. He forced himself to light a fire in the fireplace, looked slowly around, remembering.
The stove had never been lit; no meal had ever been prepared there. The sink with the water pump that Adam had brought into the house had always been dry. The rocking chair with the sewing basket was there, motionless, near the fireplace. On the other side, the empty cradle seemed to be waiting. A film of dust covered the furniture, dulling the wood.
Joe’s eyes traveled around the small cabin, lingered on the windows with their curtains, and farther on he saw the large bed with the soft quilt, the bed where…
Joe collapsed into the upholstered armchair, holding his head in his hands, and moaned softly, “…Laura…” She was one of his greatest regrets.
The warmth of the fire overcame the exhausted young man. Joe dozed off without even realizing it. Outside, the blizzard was gradually dying down, and soon the moon shone in a clear sky once again, studded with stars. The landscape around him was immaculate, and the moonlight illuminated the inside of the small cabin, where the little fire was now dying out.
Suddenly, the light of the lamp flickered, grew dim, and then went out completely. In the fireplace, the embers flared up again as a cold gust of wind brushed past them and swept through the room. Joe suddenly awoke, shivering, and heard a voice calling him.
“Jooe”… He would have recognized it among a thousand. That way she had called him, drawing out the O so tenderly. Only she called him that.
The silvery light of the moon seemed to float in the darkest corner of the room and then took shape. Stunned, Joe jumped to his feet; he stiffened when he saw Laura’s image standing before him, looking at him. His legs almost gave way, and fear took his breath away. He caught his breath with a strangled moan.
He shook himself, rubbed his eyes, and thought he must be dreaming, that his mind was playing a cruel trick on him after the overwhelming flood of memories he had just experienced. Perhaps entering that cabin after such a long time had truly unsettled him, he thought. He must be hallucinating!
Laura’s luminous image moved through the room, brushed past the furniture and the kitchen, and stopped a short distance from him. It was her, almost transparent, ethereal, unreal, but it was her. Joe realized he was standing before something supernatural. A ghost, Laura’s spirit, the girl he had loved deeply, whom he had wanted to marry and whom he had tragically lost when they were only a breath away from their wedding.
His eyes filled with tears; deep down, he had never truly come to terms with that loss. It was a regret he had carried inside him for so long, for years, one that had marked him deeply. She smiled at him, tilted her head to one side, floated a little farther back, and looked into his eyes.
Laura’s voice spoke no words; it reached him inside his mind.
“I’m fine, you know? All pain has ceased where I am. I have found great peace. I want you to find your peace, too, Joe. If you wish, remember me fondly, but live your life to the fullest and without regrets. Let me return to the place where I now belong, knowing that you will be all right, too. Goodbye, Jooe…Jooe…”
She reached out a hand as her voice faded, and Joe felt a cold breath brush his hair and forehead. Then he watched the image of the girl he had loved slowly fade away.
He remained motionless, standing in the moonlight streaming through the windows. He realized he was trembling; he had been crying without noticing it and wiped his damp cheeks. He should have been completely shaken after seeing a ghost, and he was, of course; he had been frightened, very frightened, but now he felt strangely calm.
It had been a final goodbye; he knew that and had accepted it, but now his heart was more at peace. The pain of the loss had eased; a weight had lifted from his conscience. Laura was becoming a sweet memory rather than a painful regret.
He came back to himself, still unable to believe what he had experienced. He looked out the window and finally realized that the blizzard had stopped. The moon lit up the land as brightly as day, reflecting off the white snow. He looked around, taking in every detail of the little cabin, promising himself he would return from time to time.
Too moved to stay, he decided to resume his journey home. He prepared to leave after carefully putting out the last embers in the fireplace. After such an experience, he felt the need to be with his family…but he would never be able to tell them anything about what had happened to him! Well, perhaps after some time…perhaps he would confide in Hoss. For now, he needed to come to terms with what had happened himself.
Upon arriving, he had settled the team in the stable, where it was warm, made sure the horses had something to eat, and put off grooming them until the following morning. The house was dark. They weren’t expecting him that night, after the snowfall, and no light had been left burning on the table to welcome him.
In the large living room, the fire was dying in the big fireplace, showing its last golden glimmers. Joe let himself be illuminated by that little light, enjoying the remaining warmth of the embers. The grandfather clock was ticking, showing that it was already late. Joe moved confidently through the near darkness, grateful to be home, feeling safe.
He headed toward the stairs when he heard a door open and saw a light brighten the darkness.
“Joe, is that you?” His father was coming down the hallway with the lamp lit and a smile on his face.
“We weren’t expecting you tonight after the snowfall! Is everything all right? Are you hungry? Would you like something hot?” And meanwhile, he looked him over to make sure he was all right.
“Hi, Pa! No, thanks, really, I’m fine. I just need to go to bed! It’s good to be home, Pa!” And he smiled at his father with a special warmth.
“It’s good to have you home again, Joe! Sleep well, and tomorrow morning, get a little more rest. You’ve earned it!” Ben smiled again as he squeezed his son’s shoulder and, with an affectionate pat, guided him toward his bedroom.
“Pleasant dreams, son.”
The End
(Reference: The Storm – Bonanza – Season 3. Written: Denne Petitclerc)
