Courage and the Power of Love – The Long Way Home

By The Silver Dollars

***

It was not much farther. Joe could see the mountains in the distance with their snow-capped peaks. He longed for that fresh, clear air scented with resin, pine, flowers, and succulent berries. It was the air of his home, which he had been missing for more than a week.

Joe sighed as he picked up his canteen and took a swig of the now tepid water. At least it was wet. He was tired from riding and  from eating beans and bacon. Besides being fatigued, Joe was dirty and sweaty.  He couldn’t wait to soak in a tub of warm water to feel human again. That trip had worn him out, but he was happy to be bringing home a lucrative contract for the Ponderosa. Joe was proud of his accomplishment. The supply of trained horses for the army was his doing. He had snagged a price significantly higher than even he had hoped to secure.  It was with the spirit of a winner that he was returning home.

Shortly before sunset, Joe encountered a small caravan of six covered wagons. They had just positioned themselves in a circle for the night. Even though Joe realized he and the wagon train were heading in opposite directions, Joe asked to camp with them. He needed the diversion. Jeff, the caravan leader and his family invited Joe to join them and have dinner. The wagon train consisted of about 30 people.  From what Joe could assess, most of the occupants were relatively young families with children and animals in tow. There were a few dairy cows, mules, and draft horses. Rabbits and chickens were locked in cages. Their purpose was to provide fresh meat for the passengers during their journey. Joe learned that these future settlers were mostly farmers and were traveling south in search of fertile land.

After days of his monotonous cooking, Joe ate with gusto. Not only was he enjoying the food, but he was also grateful for the pleasant company, especially since his only discussions the last few days on the trail had been with his horse, Cochise.

It was a cheerful evening. Joe learned during their conversation that Jeff was a former army surgeon. After his retirement, he became the wagon train master. Jeff, his wife Molly, and their two older, teenage children, Sam and Beth, were a united family. The obvious harmony among them and the jokes and banter over dinner, made Joe feel a little homesick for his father and brothers. He had not seen them for well over a week.

Joe was brought back from his thoughts when Jeff asked him about his cowboy work on his ranch. Joe smiled and told him about the horses.  He shared how he had tamed and trained them.  Sam’s eyes sparkled and his shy sister, Beth, blushed a little as they listened to Joe’s exciting stories. The group continued talking for a short while longer and then bid each other goodnight.

Joe had just settled down on his bedroll with his inverted saddle under his head when gunshots suddenly rang out around the camp!

Joe heard Jeff and other men

barking orders as they fired into the air and in every direction! The camp was under attack!

Joe felt his heart leap in his chest. He knew the danger.  Panting, he ducked under a wagon responding to the gunfire coming from the dark. Jeff darted next to him, firing in turn.

“Who?” he asked in a broken voice, “Who is attacking us?”

“Comancheros,” replied Joe, firing wildly. ”They are worse than Indians!”

The moon rose revealing chaos. The men were now fighting hand-to-hand. The Comancheros had not expected such a reaction from the wagon train occupants. This encounter was less successful than anticipated.
Without warning, a bullet pierced the muscle in Joe’s right arm.  Even though he was bleeding heavily and was beginning to weaken, the gunshot wound didn’t stop Joe from fighting. When he ran out of ammunition, Joe used his rifle like a club wielding it to smash heads and knock Comancheros down on their backs. He fought with such force, the rifle stock broke.

One last shot was fired by the fleeing Comancheros. Joe spun around and staggered. The rifle fell from his hand and the young man collapsed with a cry.

A blood stain spread across his chest, soaking his shirt.

Jeff saw him fall and shouted, “Joe!”

CHAPTER 1

Crying, moaning, screaming, and praying replaced the sounds of gunshots, barking orders, and chaos.

Jeff was immediately at Joe’s side  checking for a pulse. Unfocused eyes looked up at the gray-haired man in the moonlight and mouthed, “Pa!” Then blackness enveloped him. In this darkness were strange visions and flashbacks.

Jeff ripped off Joe’s shirt and tore it into two pieces. One he tied tightly around Joe’s arm; the other he pressed hard against Joe’s chest. Joe, the young man who courageously joined the fight to defend strangers was now fighting for his life.

While staying with Joe, Jeff scanned the horrific sight before him. The moonlit sky illuminated the scene of death and destruction.

Movement began again. Jeff’s wife cautiously inched her way toward her husband. She assured him their children were unharmed. Sadly, she had to report that Charlie Williams and his son Billy, along with Mrs.Taylor were killed. Four people were wounded and obviously, everyone was in shock. Overall, the outcome was better than anticipated. There were many more dead Comancheros strewn throughout the area than there were wagon train fatalities.

“Jeff, can you save Joe?”

“Molly, get my medical bag and come back as quickly as possible. I don’t have a minute to spare. Ask Beth and Sam to help the other wounded.”

“Papa, please help me,” yelled Little Joe right before he collapsed on the front porch of the Ponderosa ranch house.

Hearing his Pa’s voice, Joe slowly and painfully opened his eyes. Lying in his bed, Joe whimpered in pain.

“Take it easy, Son. Your Pa’s right here. I’m trying to stop the bleeding coming from above your eye!”

“Pa, everything hurts. I feel like something’s stabbing my chest. It burns when I breathe!”

“I sent for the doctor. Close your eyes and try to rest.”

“Please, Pa! I wanna tell you what happened! I can’t rest until you know.”

“Alright, calm down, Joseph.”

“Are you mad at me for getting into a fight, Pa?”

“Tell me what happened.”

“Well, little Billy Stone, you know, Pa, he’s only six years old,

was being picked on by those Bennett twins.”

“You mean the twelve-year-olds?”

“Yeah, Pa. They took his lunch and stomped it into the ground. Billy started crying. Then they pushed him down real hard. I couldn’t take it anymore, Pa, so I rammed my head into George’s middle. He doubled over. Then Harry grabbed me. I landed a punch, but then George got back up and the two of them let loose on me, probably ‘cause Hoss has been out of school on the roundup!  They sure wouldn’t have done it if Hoss was there!”

“Shhh, Son. Relax now. 

Joseph, for an eight-year-old, you have the heart of a lion! However, I wish you would have gone for help!”

“So, you are mad at me.”

“Joseph, how can I be angry with you when you came to the defense of someone who needed help?  As your father I want to be able to protect you. It hurts me when I know I’ve failed. No, Joe, I’m not angry. I’m proud of you for protecting Billy. However, I worry that you act before you think. I just wish you could come up with a safer way to help others.

I’ll tell you this, you’re going to be the cause of me turning completely gray much before my time! Now, Young Man, close your eyes and rest until the doctor arrives.”

“Pa, there’s something inside me that makes me lose my temper when people are being mean and unfair. I guess it’s a Cartwright thing.”

“Well, Joseph, we will have a discussion about that hotheaded temper of yours.”

“A necessary talk?”

“No, Son, just a discussion so you don’t put yourself in unnecessary danger.”

“Phew, you had me worried for a minute!”

“Oh, Joseph! Now, stop talking…”

“Pa, I can’t breathe!  I’m scared!”

“Hang on, Son! I’m here!”

“Jeff, Joe’s breathing is getting more labored.”

“Hang on, Joe. I almost have the bullet out. It only penetrated the outer layer of your chest. No vital organs were hit!  Keep fighting, Joe! You can do it!”

“Joseph, don’t breathe too deeply.  I know you’re in pain.

Finally!

The doctor’s here!”

“Papa, stay with me!”

“Always, Son!”

“Come on up, Doc!”

“That gash above his eye is going to need stitches immediately! It’s bleeding quite heavily. He also has a cracked rib. I’ll give him some laudanum but it may not take effect as quickly as I’d like.

“Hang on, Son. We’ll get through this together!”

“Molly, swab his right arm. At least that bullet made a clean exit. Then I’ll stitch him up. He’s lost a lot of blood.”

Joe’s head started thrashing back and forth as he mumbled something inaudible.

“Hold him, Molly!”

“I’m trying to be brave, but the needle hurts too much. Make him stop, Papa!”

“The doctor’s almost finished, Son. Try to stay still.  Just a little longer. Hold on to me as tight as you can!”

“Some of my grown men patients cry and scream for far less than what you’re going through. You’re a courageous little boy. Almost done!

Ben, I’ll give you some laudanum for Joe to help with the pain and breathing. It will also help him sleep soundly.”

“Almost done, Joe. Hold on!”

A small moan escaped Joe’s lips. In his feverish and delirious state, Joe feebly raised his hand to touch the face of the man he loved. Jeff understood.

“Molly, we have to try to get fluids into him while he’s somewhat awake. The fluids and plenty of rest will help to build up his blood supply. He’s young and strong. However, I am concerned with the  blood loss and with his fever.”

“I’ll keep applying cool clothes on him and continue getting him to take some water,” Molly said.

“I’ve mixed some laudanum in the water. He needs solid rest.”

“You must be exhausted, Jeff. You’re such a skilled surgeon. Thankfully, Mike’s, Danny’s, Mrs. Weber’s, and Wendy’s wounds were not as serious as Joe’s. Sam and Beth have been tending to them, just the way you had taught them. You should be so proud of our children.”

“Yes, Molly, I’m proud of all of you!”

The sun was beginning to come up. There weren’t any guarantees the Comancheros wouldn’t be back. Joe’s condition was still serious, but the caravan had to move away from all this death and try to find a safer place.

Joe lived through the surgery and loss of blood, but was so weak. Survival for this young man was still a worry. Jeff and Molly made him as comfortable as possible in their wagon.  Once all the injured were settled, the wagon train set out.

…..

“Pa, Joe is overdue. We heard Comancheros were spotted near where Joe would have been. Adam and I are going after him.”

“Saddle my horse!” Ben barked.

…..

Opening his eyes, Little Joe saw his Pa sitting right next to him, holding his hand and stroking his hair. Joe smiled and went back to sleep knowing he was safe in his papa’s loving hands.

Ben softly muttered, “We’re coming, Son! Lord, please watch over him!”

CHAPTER 2

Beth poked her head out of the front of the wagon and asked, “Pa, how much farther until we can stop? You need to check Joe. He is burning up with fever.”

“We have to keep going until we find a safe place to stop. Try to keep Joe comfortable and keep a cool damp cloth on his forehead. As soon as I find a place to stop, I will see what I can do for him,” answered Jeff worriedly.

The fever had a tight grip on Joe as he continued having strange visions and flashbacks. He felt pain in his arm and chest and could not understand why his bed was moving and bumping him around.

“Papa, make it stop! Make it STOP! It hurts so much. Please Pa, help me,” Joe cried out.

“Shhh, Son. It’s ok! Your Pa is here. Just try and rest. It will get better soon.”

Ben  placed his hand on Joe’s head. Feeling his Pa’s loving touch settled Joe into a restful sleep.

Tom Hinkley, one of the men Jeff had sent on ahead to scout out a safe spot for the night, came riding back. He pulled up next to Jeff’s wagon.

“Jeff, I think I found the perfect spot just over yonder by that outcrop of rocks. It leads into a canyon with high, steep, rock walls all around and an opening at both ends. It should be easy enough to keep watch and defend, if necessary, while everyone gets some rest for the night.”

“Good job, Tom. I don’t expect the Comancheros will attack this late at night. We will head over there and get settled for the night”.

“Hurry, Pa. Joe’s getting worse!”

After the wagons pulled into their defensive position, Jeff climbed into the back of his wagon to examine his patient.

Checking Joe’s injuries, Jeff discovered the cause of the higher fever. The wound in Joe’s chest was red and inflamed indicating it was infected.

“Beth, get my bag, please. I am going to have to go back in again and clean out the infection.”

“Will Joe be okay, then?”

“Once I do that, Joe should be on the mend. Try not to worry, Beth.”

Joe came through the second surgery, but he was not out of the woods yet. Joe had lost more blood during the procedure, and he was still running a fever higher than Jeff would have liked.

It was still a serious situation.

“Beth, I need to see how your mother and brother are doing with the other wounded patients. Please stay here and keep an eye on Joe.  Make sure he’s comfortable and wipe him down with a cool damp cloth to help bring down the fever. Send for me if there is any change.”

“Yes, Pa”.

Beth made sure Joe was comfortable and followed her father’s orders of wiping Joe down with the cloth. He was muttering in his sleep and kept asking for his pa. Beth, trying to calm him, told Joe not to worry and that his father would come for him soon.

As she watched him lying there, Beth noticed how young and handsome Joe was. She brushed the dark, damp curls from his forehead.  His lips looked so sensual. She could not keep herself from wondering how it would feel to have those lips on hers.

Joe started to stir. Beth reached for his hand and held it in hers to help calm him.  Looking at his hand, she noticed how big and strong it was. It felt rough. It was the hand of a hard-working man. Beth wondered if these same hands could also be gentle and loving. She looked up to see Joe staring at her with his gorgeous green eyes. Even glazed over with fever they were the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen.

Joe took his hand from hers and reached up to caress her cheek.

“Sarah, it’s so good to be home. I couldn’t wait to see you. Are we still on for the dance this Friday night?”

Not wanting to break this contact, Beth nodded her head.

Joe moved his hand to the back of her head and said, “I’ve missed you so much and have thought about you day and night.” 

Then Joe pulled her down to him. His lips brushed lightly against her lips. Those sensuous lips pressed harder, kissing Beth long and passionately.

“You know we really need to get married. I love you with all my heart. Sarah, I can’t wait much longer to be with you,” Joe whispered as his arm dropped down and he drifted back to sleep.

Beth sat there staring in disbelief. She had a warm feeling in the pit of her stomach and could still feel his hot breath on her face and the pressure of his lips on hers. It was then that she realized she was in love with this gorgeous man! What was she to do?  From what Joe just said, he was in love with another woman.

The next couple of days saw a slight improvement in Joe. The fever had improved since the evening before, but he was still weak. Joe was able to sit up for a short time and take in some broth, but was far from being healed.

There hadn’t been any more kisses, nor any mention of that moment. Beth still tended to Joe, but she found it difficult being near him. Spending so much time with this breathtaking man only made Beth fall more and more in love with him. Joe, it seemed, did not feel the same way and did not remember the kiss. Beth needed to know for sure, but how?

“I guess the only thing to do is ask him if he remembers anything about the other night,” Beth said to herself.

Later that evening, before settling down for the night, Beth checked on Joe making sure he had everything he needed.

Joe thanked her and said, “Good night!”

Beth hesitated. It was now or never to ask him. She took a deep breath and began, “Joe, do you know anyone by the name of Sarah?” 

Joe looked at her with a puzzled expression on his face and replied, “Yes, why do you ask?”

“Just curious,” Beth said. “You called me by that name the other night and, well, I just wondered who she was.”

Joe smiled and his eyes lit up.

“She’s my girl back home. We are planning on being married soon.”

“Oh,” said Beth. “I am sure she is very nice, and you’ll both be truly happy. I, too, hope to find a loving husband someday, settle down, and have a family of my own.”

Joe smiled at her and said, “I’m sure you will find him soon. You will make an excellent wife and mother. If I weren’t already involved with someone, I would be camped out on your doorstep.”

Beth’s heart was broken. All she could say was, “Thank you, and good night.”

As Beth left the wagon, tears welled up in her eyes. She cried herself to sleep that night, but also came to the realization that she at least had one passionate kiss from those sensual lips. Joe would always have a special place in her heart.

It was three days later. The wounded were well on their way to recovery. However, the wagon train was starting to run low on supplies. It was time to think about heading out. They couldn’t stay in the rock barrier forever.

That evening, as Jeff redressed Joe’s wounds he told him he still needed rest.

Joe rolled his eyes and said, “You’re just like my doctor at home, Jeff!”

“You have lost a lot of blood and need to rebuild your strength. Try to stay still as I do not want you opening those stitches. We will be heading out tomorrow.”

Early the next morning, everyone awoke to a warm, sunny day with clear blue skies. As Jeff scanned the horizon, he saw a cloud of dust rising in the distance.  He swore softly to himself, “Damn those Comancheros!”  Jeff quickly raised the alarm to warn the whole camp.

CHAPTER 3

Ponderosa – a few days earlier.

Ben Cartwright stood on the porch, leaning against the support post, and sipping a hot cup of coffee. His eyes swept around seemingly attentive. In reality, he was lost in thought, and his face reflected his feelings. The reason for this behavior had a name: Joseph Cartwright. Joe was Ben’s son, his youngest one, and was  overdue coming home.

Joe was late.

The Cartwrights had been waiting for him to return from a business trip for a few days already. His father was getting worried.

Normally, Ben would have repeated like a mantra that Joe was not a kid, that he had recently turned 22, and that he was a man who could take care of himself.  Yet, for the past few days Ben had had a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach that bothered him. It was a bad feeling.

The arrival of Adam and Hoss with the supply wagon distracted Ben from his thoughts.

“Pa, we got news in Virginia City! We all know Joe’s overdue. We heard that Comancheros have been spotted in the area where Joe was going to pass. What if Joe ran into them? He should have been home days ago! We don’t know if something has happened to him! All we know is that we’ve got a bad feeling. Adam and I are going after Joe!”

Ben looked at his sons, recoiled, and assumed the lead,
“Saddle my horse! Let’s get the supplies ready. Adam and I will go on horseback.  Hoss, you follow with the wagon and the best team we have to keep up! Take spare rifles, lots of ammunition, and blankets!”

Hoss, somewhat puzzled, looked at Adam who raised an eyebrow. Hoss found his voice, “The wagon, Pa? It will slow us down!”

Ben looked at his son with all the concern that now showed on his face. “Hoss, we don’t know what condition we’ll find Joe! If he’s met with the Comancheros…” Ben’s voice trailed off. He could go no further.  Swallowing hard and closing his eyes and heart to the worst of possibilities, Ben forced himself to speak again, “We’ve all had a bad feeling about Joe being overdue, haven’t we? It’s like a premonition. Let’s waste no time and ride!”

When they arrived at the site of the attack, they found several dug-out pits. Three had names and the others were anonymous. There were clear traces of a skirmish and the wheel marks of several wagons continuing southward.  Then three sets of eyes were riveted on Joe’s rifle with the stock broken.  It was abandoned on the ground, and had congealed blood stains surrounding it.

The Cartwrights did not linger any longer and continued quickly in the direction left by the wagon tracks.

Where was Joe?

**********

Present.

Joe was still cloudy, but had been alert enough to understand the caravan had moved farther and farther away from his home several days ago. He realized there was no chance to notify his family about what had happened to him. Joe imagined their concern. Mounting a horse to return home was not even a possibility for him. The blood loss had been massive. Joe could barely stand or even think clearly. Although improving, he was still very weak.

Shaken out of his thoughts, it registered that something was wrong. As Joe mulled over what to do, he heard Jeff cursing and sounding the alarm!

The caravan prepared for defense. Women and children took cover under the wagons. The men were posted and ready to fire. The fact that several of them had been soldiers in the army made them combat-ready. This training had surely been one of the reasons for their success during the Comancheros’ first attack.

Jeff had advised Joe to take cover, but Joe wanted to do his part despite his physical weakness.
He admired Jeff and the wagon train journeymen. He owed them his life. The least he could do was try to help them.

Joe called out to Sam and told him to get two rifles, plenty of ammunition, and a canteen of water.  Then he asked Sam to help him climb the rocks so they could be in an elevated position above the camp. Panting and exhausted from the effort, Joe let himself fall among the high rocks.  He and Sam hid from view. Joe positioned his rifle and ordered the boy to reload quickly as he fired.  In this way, no time would be wasted.

The Comancheros attacked! The rocks protecting the caravan did not make things easy for the bandits. From his high vantage point Joe had a good view of the battlefield. His shots were quick and deadly. Sam was impressed with Joe’s unerring aim.

The rush of adrenaline helped Joe withstand his weakness and pain, especially the discomfort in his wounded right arm.  He gripped his rifle against his shoulder and fired accurately.

Sam loaded the rifles and passed them to Joe without interruption. The boy watched the young cowboy closely. Joe’s green eyes had a wild glow, and his nostrils flared as he fired shot after shot.

After some time, Sam saw those eyes glaze over as Joe’s breath came out in ragged gasps and his hand on the rifle trembled slightly.  Sam instinctively handed the canteen to Joe who gratefully accepted it and took a long drink. Then Joe ran some of the water over his hair and face, trying to regain the clarity he needed.

Suddenly,  gunfire coming from another direction was heard by the people of the besieged wagon train. More Comacheros fell around them. They were shot dead!

Two horsemen and a chariot driven by a real giant burst through the rocks that protected the caravan.  It abruptly braked.  A great silence descended on the battlefield. It was over. The Comancheros had been annihilated.

A shout of victory came from the throats of the men as women and children emerged from under the wagons. They were safe at last.

Jeff walked up to the three men who had contributed to the victory and greeted them with exuberance.  He thanked them for their help.

One gray-haired man introduced himself to the other gray-haired gentleman. “I’m Ben Cartwright from the Ponderosa ranch outside of Virginia City.  These are my sons, Adam and Hoss. Before Jeff could introduce himself, Sam came rushing down from the rocks calling his father loudly, “Pa, quick, hurry, Joe needs help!”

Ben gasped and grabbed Sam by the arm, “You said, Joe, a slender young man with lots of curly, brown hair, left-handed, wearing a green jacket, and a light-colored hat and pants?”

Jeff and his son nodded vigorously.

“Where is he? How is he? What happened to him?” Ben asked with his heart in his throat. Hoss and Adam approached eagerly to hear.

“Mr. Cartwright, Joe helped us fight the Comancheros when they first attacked us by surprise. We were miles north of here. Without him we would have had many more casualties. Joe fought like a lion, but he was wounded twice and lost a lot of blood. I was a surgeon when I was in the army and was able to save your son. However, he was too weak to be left alone. My only choice was to take him with us while waiting for him to sufficiently recover.  He is still very weak.”

Ben interrupted him, “Where is he now?”

“Sam, where did you leave Joe?”

The boy looked at his father and then at Ben, “In the rocks, up there.  Joe shot the Comancheros from that vantage point! He held on as long as he could, but then lost consciousness.  We have to bring him down!”

Ben, with Adam and Hoss, led by Sam, set off to climb the rocks to get Joe. Jeff set up a bunk in the shade of a wagon and grabbed his medical bag.

Ben found Joe sitting against a rock. His head was bowed with his chin resting on his chest.  A rifle remained in his hands. Joe was very pale and drenched in sweat. The bandage on his chest was visible from his half-open shirt, and his right sleeve was soaked in blood where the stitches in his arm had ripped open.
Ben spilled some water from the canteen and began to bathe his son’s face and neck. He was attempting to refresh him, while also washing away the sweat. Ben hoped Joe would awaken.

A small moan surfaced from Joe’s throat as he began to regain consciousness. Then he felt the cool flow of water relieve his dry throat. Joe drank greedily until Ben removed the canteen.

“Easy, Joe, easy!”

Still with his eyes closed, Joe became aware of a familiar, much-loved voice. “Pa, you came. You’re here!”

Hoss and Adam carefully helped Joe to where the bunk had been set up. Jeff stitched up the opened wound in Joe’s arm again.

Completely exhausted, Joe let go and fell asleep. His last conscious memory was that of his hand locked in the large, strong one of his father’s, and his brothers by his side. Once again, Joe felt safe surrounded by his family.

The next morning, there were parting words of thanks and many handshakes. Ben made Jeff promise that if they needed cattle or horses to raise on their new land, they could turn to the Ponderosa. Ben would make sure they received the best the ranch had to offer. There was a double covenant of gratitude between Jeff and Ben. The one, grateful for the crucial help of Joe and his family in dealing with the Comancheros; the other, grateful for the help given to Joe who was badly wounded and whose life was saved.

Adam and Hoss had placed their younger brother in the back of the wagon with a pile of blankets under him to serve as a mattress, and Cochise’s saddle turned upside down so Joe could rest his back.

It was not going to be a comfortable ride for Joe, but the young man was grateful to have survived. He was happy to be going home, and was feeling lucky to be doing it in the company of his entire family.

His father and brothers had congratulated him on the contracts he had obtained.  Joe was immensely proud, so it was in good spirits that he prepared for the long journey home.  Even though it would be difficult and painful at times, Joe was returning to the Ponderosa with the family he loved.

Just before departure, Joe motioned to Beth to come over to him. The girl blushed as she approached the side of the wagon.

Joe took her hands between his own. While gently squeezing them, he thanked Beth for being the best nurse and for caring for him. Joe was grateful to her for feeding and watching over him while he was in the grip of fever and pain.

Then Joe smiled his brilliant smile. He pulled Beth close and placed a tender, soft kiss on her cheek making Beth blush even more.

Waving goodbye, the caravan continued its journey south toward those fertile lands where their small community would be established.

The Cartwrights set out north.
The peaks of the Sierras came into view. They shone in the distance under the bright sun.
There was the Ponderosa, the home to which they were returning together again.


The end

The Silver Dollars: Marcella Petillo, smp4ever, and Wendy Kodama