Charlotte

By Bakerj

Chapter One

Each day, I must’ve gotten out of bed and done my chores.  Taken part in branding and sweated over that fire pit ‘til my shirt was drenched.  I must’ve bossed the cattle drives and pushed two or more hundred head of ornery steers over those mountains and high desert to Sacramento.  I must’ve talked to Pa about ranch business and Jamie about college.  Laughed, drank, and did all those things men do.  Even had fun.  I just don’t remember it being so aimless until she came.

I took her for buggy rides, and she took away my pain.  I gave her flowers, and she gave me hope.  When she accepted my ring, I accepted the promise of a new future.  And all in less than a month.  A whirlwind courtship, Pa called it.  But I wasn’t prepared to waste time.  Not anymore.  Hoss and Alice had changed that.

I needn’t have bothered to turn up the lamp.  When Charlotte entered the room, she lit it brighter than sunshine.

“Here you are.  I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

“What did I do?”

I couldn’t help but smile when that soft, delicious laugh like warm syrup slipped out.  “Nothing, silly.  Dinner will be ready soon and—”  She broke off, put her hands on her hips, and narrowed her eyes.  “Joseph Cartwright, do you have a guilty conscience?”

My arm wrapped around her inviting waist, and I looked down into those sapphire eyes.  They’d been the first things I’d noticed, which wasn’t surprising.  Her plain dress had been almost drab, and she’d worn no trinkets, pendants, or ribbons designed to catch a man’s attention.  But she couldn’t do anything to hide those eyes. 

“The only thing I’m guilty of is not kissing my wife for hours.”

Her giggle dissipated when my lips brushed hers.  Their softness yielded to mine and set my heart racing.  My kiss deepened.  I pulled her tight so she could feel my rising excitement.  Her hand came up to my neck, where slim fingers entwined in my hair.

The sound of a throat being cleared snapped our heads around.  Through the open doorway, Candy stood in the hall.  He reached forward and grabbed the door handle, a grin spreading over his face.  “Don’t mind me.”

The door closed. 

“Dammit.  I gotta finish our house.”

“It’s all right.  You’ve got enough to do.”

I kissed her again.  She was a darling.  Almost six months married and still waiting for that home of her own.  Not many would be so understanding, but building couldn’t start during the winter, and then Pa broke his leg, and the responsibility of the whole ranch fell on my shoulders.  The house became one more thing on a growing ‘to-do’ list.  But, right now, there was only one thing on my mind.  The key turned under my fingers, locking the door with a click. 

***

Chapter Two

“Careful, careful.”

“I am being careful.”  Slipping the cushion under Pa’s ankle, I lowered the cast down to rest on it.  “There, that should do it.”

Pa huffed and readjusted his position in the chair.  Being an invalid wasn’t going down well with my father.  And everyone said I was the lousy patient.

I thanked Candy, who helped me assist Pa to the porch.  He grinned.  “I’d better get started.”

“I’ll catch you up.”

Pa watched him walk away before asking, “How’s it going?”

“Good.”  At the face he pulled, I added, “I know we’re behind.”  Hearing the sharp edge to my words, I grit my teeth.  Pa cut me a look.  “Sorry.”

Waving me into the seat next to him, he patted my knee.  “I know you’ve got a lot on.  You’re doing a good job.  I’m proud of you.”

The size of the lump in my throat surprised me.  “Thanks.”

“I know how hard it is.  Doing all this without Hoss.  It might be three years since we lost him, but ….”  He trailed off.  I closed my hand over his, and Pa squeezed my knee.  We took the moment needed before he removed his hand and motioned toward his cast.  “And then I had to go break my leg!”

“I’m just grateful it was only your leg.”  My stomach froze again, remembering how Candy had ridden in like the devil was on his heels, yelling Pa’d had an accident.  It had been like Hoss all over again.

“You, okay?”

“Yeah.  Anything else you need?”

Pa tapped the documents on the table beside him.  The renewals to the water rights, he would read through.  “Nope.  I’m fine.”

***

The ache in my back made me happy to climb off Cochise.  It was on days like these I missed Hoss the most.  He could always make a tough one pass a lot easier.

Candy was coming down the stairs as I closed the door.  Even washed up, he looked as tired as I felt. 

Pa laid aside his book.  “Rough day, son?”

I straightened my shoulders.  “Nothing I can’t handle.” 

“You’re home!”  I opened my arms to welcome Charlotte into them.  My exhaustion lifted the moment hers were around me.  “Dinner’s ready.  Go wash up.”

“Come help me?” I teased.

She couldn’t stop the blush as the memory of last night’s activity rushed back, but she was made of stern stuff and wasn’t off guard for long.  Flapping her hands, she shooed me away.  “Be off.  I’m helping Hop Sing.”

Grinning, I did as I was bid.

***

Pa wiped the napkin over his lips.  “My dear, thank you.  That was delicious.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.  It’s only Rouladen.  A recipe handed down through my mother’s family.”

“I’ve never had beef cooked that way before.”

“It was a favorite of ours.”

“I can see it becoming a favorite here, too.”

I smiled to see my wife’s cheeks turn pink with delight at Pa’s simple words of praise.  It surprised me to hear her mention her mother.  She never talked much about her past, other than she’d lived in St. Louis and her folks had recently passed.  There was tragedy there, I was sure, even though she hadn’t shared it.  But I wasn’t worried.  When the time was right, she would, the same way I’d shared mine. 

“Missy Charlotte, good cook.  Little Joe get plenty of good food when they move into home of own.”

“You wanna get rid of me?”

Hop Sing took my empty plate and glared at me.  “Hop Sing, just be glad to feed people who appreciate cooking and no come late to lunch.”

“Sorry, Hop Sing.”

“You no want eat burnt chicken.  You quit working and be on time.”

I laughed at our cook’s way of telling me not to work so hard.  There was too much to do for me to heed him, but I appreciated his concern.

“C’mon,” said Pa, “let’s have coffee by the fire.”

Handing Pa his crutches, Candy and I hovered, ready to help if needed.  Stubborn as heck, he wasn’t about to accept any from the two of us, but when Charlotte placed the cushion on the table and lifted his leg to rest on it, he made no complaint and even thanked her.  Over Pa’s head, Candy and I exchanged looks.  I grinned when Candy rolled his eyes. 

I settled on the sofa, and Charlotte tucked in beside me.  It might be the beginning of May, and the days getting warmer, but the cold nights made a fire welcome.  I dozed under its influence and Charlotte’s presence until a tender finger ran down my cheek and woke me.

“Time for bed?” She murmured.

I glanced behind at the clock.  Just after eight, but I was beat.

“Good idea.  You be okay, Pa?”

Since we’d brought him home with his broken leg, he’d slept in the downstairs bedroom.  This enabled him to be as self-sufficient as possible, but he still needed help.

“Hop Sing can help me.  Candy, I suggest you do the same.”

I grinned at my foreman.  When you lived under our roof, you ran the risk of Pa ordering you to bed.  Candy’s easy smile appeared, and he rose without a word.  I think he was glad to have the excuse to turn in.

We said goodnight.  I tumbled into bed, content to hold my beautiful wife in my arms, drifting off to sleep with my cheek resting on her soft, golden locks.

***

Chapter Three

After thumbing through the mail, I stuffed it into my pocket.  Most looked like ranch business, but I recognized Jamie’s handwriting on one.  He must’ve gotten Pa’s letter about the wedding.  We’d all agreed not to wire him.  No way could he have gotten back from college in time to attend, and neither of us wanted him caught this side of the Sierras, unable to get back until the Spring.  Pa’s suggestion we postpone, I’d put to bed.  Jamie or no Jamie, I was getting married before winter.

Before riding out, I checked in with the men collecting the supplies.  Everything was in order, and I left them to it.  I needed to visit the mine.

John McGowin wasn’t much for small talk, but he knew his business.  I followed the movement of his calloused finger over the chart as he pointed out the shaft he proposed closing and traced the direction of the new one he wanted to open.  After approving the plans, I left him to it and headed home. 

Preoccupied with planning upcoming chores, it was a good job Cooch knew the way.  Planting for hay and winter feed needed to begin, and we were overdue starting on breaking the horses to fulfill our annual contract for the army.  Roundup, branding, and the spring drive also needed to be prepared for.  This year I wasn’t going.  I’d decided to hire a trail boss.  The man came highly recommended.  All I had to do was agree his fee and sign the contract. 

Drawing in a breath, I looked around me.  The Ponderosa took some running.  I was getting a grip on it, but one job posed a big question.  The annual ‘Grand Swing’ was due.  The one certain time each year when a Cartwright would visit the crews and men in the outlying camps.  No way Pa would be going, laid up like he was.  But how could I desert him?  I decided to talk it through.

I’d missed lunch, so I grabbed a sandwich after handing the mail to Pa.

“Where’s Charlotte?” I asked when I came back from the kitchen.

“Visiting Kate Clark.”

Steve Clark was among the growing number of Ponderosa hands with a family.  Now the territory was settled, more and more men were marrying or bringing out their families.  We were happy to accommodate them, giving them a cabin and a garden to grow vegetables.  Charlotte was keen to help Kate, who’d recently given birth.  I figured it would be good practice and didn’t complain.

Pa held up Jamie’s letter.  “Jamie says he understands about the wedding.”

Something in his tone let me know that wasn’t the case.  I dropped my sandwich onto my plate and perched on the table’s edge.  “He’s upset.”

“We knew he would be.”

“I’ll make it up to him when he visits in the summer.”  I bit my lip.  Pa could still reduce me to a kid with a look.  “Fine.  I’ll write.”

“I’m sure he’d appreciate that.  Now, how did things go at the mine?”

I filled Pa in on the morning activity, and he agreed with my idea to break more ground to increase our feed crops.  Then I broached the subject of the ‘Grand Swing’.

“Of course, you should go.  This cast will be off in a couple of weeks.  I’m not helpless.  Candy and the other men can help if I need any.  Why don’t you take Charlotte along?”

“What?  She won’t want to spend over a week camping out.”

“Why don’t you ask her and find out?”

Pa was crazy.  No woman would want to rough it the way we’d have to.  But I said I’d ask.

The skirt she was about to hang in the closet dropped on the bed, and Charlotte squeaked, “Together?  Just the two of us?  Oh, I’d love that.  It would be our wedding break.”

Crossing the room to slip into my lap, she flung her arms around my neck before planting a kiss on my cheek.  I gaped at her.  “I know we didn’t get one at the time, but I’d planned to take you to San Francisco.  Buy you the latest dresses, take you to the opera, and the fanciest restaurants.”

Charlotte wrinkled her little nose.  “I can go to Virginia City for that.  Anything there is just as good as San Francisco.  What I want is time with my husband.  Just you and me, together.”

Her blue eyes gazed into mine.  Images of nights alone, cuddled together beside the campfire, flitted across my mind.  I began to come around, but I wanted her to be sure.  “It would mean sleeping out, washing in creeks, eating beans and bacon.”

“I don’t care if it meant I would have to run around naked.”

“Well, if that’s what you want.” 

My fingers freed the top buttons on her blouse and then released the bow on her chemise, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of the flesh underneath.  My hand slipped through, allowing me to cup her breast.   My simple move lit a flame in my wife.  Eager lips found and devoured mine, and hoisting her skirts, Charlotte turned to straddle me. 

Her palm, flat on my chest, pressed me back against the chair, pinning me down.  The smile on her face, a mingle of triumph and teasing.  Her intensity took me by surprise.  Our lovemaking had always been enjoyable for both, but I’d always taken the lead.  This was a different woman. 

My eyebrows and temperature rose when her hand pushed down to my groin, liberating my manhood.  She didn’t waste time undressing any unnecessary parts.  Her soft womanhood pressed against me, and my arousal climbed to match the need I heard in her voice when she groaned into my ear, “Take me, Joe.  Take me now.”

Excited though I was, wonder shook me.  “Here?”

Her mouth traced a warm, moist line over my cheek back to mine.  Her teeth teased and pulled my bottom lip.  “Why not?”

Fire balled in my abdomen when she wrapped her hand around my member.  She knew how to take me past resistance – then her thumb moved to caress the tip.

“Oh, God.  Charlotte—”

Through the haze of my ardor, Charlotte’s face appeared.  I looked into the eyes of my wife.  No longer demure, they shone with sultry passion and lust.  Lifting her hips, she sank over me.  The silken warmth that embraced me drew a guttural moan from the center of my being.  Her soft words set me on fire.  “I want you.”

I tasted her salty sweat when our lips met.  The slow, steady rise and fall of her hips fueled my fire.  We broke our kiss only when she picked up speed.  Fingers sank deep into my shoulders.  She rode me with the same joy I did a bronc.  I clung to her hips, letting her delicious abandon drive me to the edge.  When she tightened her muscles, I tumbled into euphoria.  Panting, we collapsed together.  

“Where did that come from?” I asked when I got my breath back.

She giggled.  “Can’t a wife surprise her husband?”

“You can surprise me like that anytime.”  I wondered if Charlotte and the other wives talked about more than how to pickle walnuts.  But I wasn’t going there.  I took her face between my hands.  My kiss was gentle and slow.  “I love you.”  When tears sprang to her eyes, concern rippled through me.  “What’s wrong?”

“It scares me sometimes.”

“What?”

“How lucky I am.  Don’t ever leave me.”

I hugged her tight.  Life had taught me that was an impossible promise to keep, but I made it anyway.

***

Chapter Four

Snagging an apple from the bowl on the table, I dropped onto the sofa and propped my feet up. 

“Saw Duncan leaving as I rode up.”

Pa’s eyes traveled to my feet, but said nothing.  “He came to tell me he’s selling the farm.”

“What?” I spluttered through my mouthful.  A neighbor for over twenty years, Duncan McCray’s son had been a friend of Hoss until he’d gone to medical school in Pennsylvania, where he stayed to set up his practice.

“He says since losing Martha, his heart’s not in it anymore.”

“Real shame to lose a good neighbor.”  I tucked one hand under my armpit and took another bite, letting the sweetness swirl around my mouth while I thought on the news.  “That’s a fine piece of land.”  I broke off at the expression on Pa’s face and sat up, taking my feet off the table.  “He’s given you first refusal!”

Pa grinned.  “He has.  I said I needed to speak to you first.”

“You won’t get an argument from me.  That farm will give us the extra winter feed we need.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“What’s he asking?”

Pa told me and added I could ride over tomorrow and seal the deal.  I stretched and plopped my feet back on the table.  The farm would be a valuable purchase, and the timing was perfect.  Things were looking good.

But life rarely runs a smooth course.

We rode in slumped over our horses, our faces grey, and not just from the smoke that clung to our clothes, hair, and skin. 

It was sheer luck that Charlotte and I had stepped outside to gaze at the stars before turning in.  Living where we did, you learned to recognize the signs of fire.  And, besides, I’d seen that kind before.  The bell, pulled with furious intent, had clanged out its incendiary alarm.  I’d left Candy to organize the men and jumped bareback on Cochise.  I needed to get to those inside the cabin.

The house was silent when we entered.  A single lamp threw grotesque shadows on the walls, but my gaze went to Charlotte, waiting in the blue chair. 

She came to me.  I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t.  Taking my arm, she led me to the stairs.  She told Candy about coffee or brandy in the kitchen, but it wasn’t until she closed the door of our room that she spoke to me, “Would you like a brandy?”

I shook my head, unable to speak over the lump in my throat.  She took me to the chair.  I didn’t object when she eased me into it.  Kneeling, she pulled off my boots.  I couldn’t find the energy to help.  The warm, wet cloth against my face forced me to focus.  She’d prepared everything.  The brandy and glass on the dresser, the warm water, soap, and cloth to wash off the smut.

After she cleaned my face, she knelt again and started on my hands, but her eyes were fixed on mine.

“What happened?”  I lowered my head, reluctant to remember, but she persisted.  “You need to talk.”

Too tired to resist, I did as she wanted.  “It was Steve and Kate’s place.”  She nodded.  That much had gotten back to her and Pa.  “They were asleep.  When I got there, the front of the cabin was ablaze.  I couldn’t get through the door.  It was like—”  I broke off and closed my eyes, struggling to back off from the memories that assaulted me.  “I broke through the bedroom window.  There was so much smoke.  I couldn’t wake them, so I carried them out.”

Others from the nearest cabins had begun to turn out by then.  Doubled over from coughing, I’d waved them to start dousing the place.  The woman who came running gathered around the family.  I left them to their care, not realizing….  But we had to keep the flames from jumping to the tree line.  I could still feel the heat prickling my skin like it did that other terrible night.  Looking down at my hands, I half-expected to see them shrouded in bandages.  Entwining my fingers, my knuckles turn white.

“Joe?”  Charlotte’s quiet voice dragged me back to the present.  “What else?”

“The cabin was a loss, but we kept the fire from spreading.  At least we did that much.”  I stopped and leaned forward to drop my forehead into my hand.  My throat worked.  The words too hard to get out.

She held my other hand tight and secure.  “Tell me.”

My eyes stung, not from the smoke but from the tears I fought back.  “Steve and Kate woke up.  Coughing and sick, but they were okay.  But … she didn’t.  She just stopped breathing.  I guess she was too small and the smoke too much.”

“The baby.”

My head snapped up.  “If I’d spotted it earlier.  Gotten there sooner.  I swear, I got her out first.  But I took too long trying to get in the front.  If I’d—”

Her hands clamped on either side of my face.  “Don’t!  You did everything you could.”

I looked into those eyes and saw the truth gazing back at me.  She slipped forward and pulled me into a hug. 

“I tried to get them to come back to the house.  Kate preferred to stay with Sarah Murphy.”

Charlotte released me and sat back on her heels.  “They’re friends.”

I nodded again, dragged in a breath, and fought down the shaking that rose from my stomach.  My hands were dead weights, but I pushed them into the arms of the chair and hauled myself up.  “I need to tell Pa.”

“It’s all right.  Candy will do that.”  Her words confirmed my suspicions.  My wife had handled my father and organized for us to be alone.  “Let’s get you to bed.”

I let her strip off my clothes like a child.  Cocooned in her arms, the warmth of her body thawed my chilled flesh.  The stench of the smoke lingered in my hair and clawed back down my throat.  I thrust it back, willing away the stink and the memories it conjured.  But they came anyway.  I tried to choke back the tears.  This grief was mine, not Charlotte’s.  “I’m sorry.”

Soft lips kissed my hair, and her arms tightened, drawing me close. I turned into my wife and wept.  She understood, and I loved her more than ever.

***

Chapter Five

My boots scrunched over scorched wood.  Nothing was left of the cabin except a pile of stones from the collapsed fireplace.  The ground would be cleared, but I wouldn’t rebuild here.  I’d picked out a new spot.  We’d all be at the funeral tomorrow, and Pa had instructed the undertaker to send us the bill.  Steve worked for us.  It was our responsibility.

My arm slipped around Charlotte when she joined me.

“How is she?”

“She’s strong.  She’ll be all right.”

Strong.  Sure.  To survive here, you needed to be strong.  My arm tightened, drawing Charlotte closer, grateful for what I found in this woman.  It was something to treasure since nothing was certain.  Life had a cruel way of proving that.

***

Steve Clark stood across the desk from me, turning his hat in his hands.  “I’m sorry, Joe.  We appreciate all you’ve done, and it ain’t that we’re not grateful, but Kate wants to spend time with her sister.  After what happened, I don’t rightly feel I can say no.”

“You don’t need to explain.  We’ll be sorry to lose you.  When do you plan on leaving?”

“Tomorrow.”

“I’ll have your pay and reference ready for you.  And Steve, you’ve got a job here anytime you want.”

He took my hand.  “Thanks.  I appreciate that.”

It was a blow.  A good hand, Steve, would be missed.  But they had no ties to the Ponderosa, nothing to keep them here after such a loss.  I broke the news to Pa and Candy over lunch.

“I’ll put the word out in Virginia City, see what comes of it.  I’d like to get the new man in place before we leave on the swing.”

Charlotte sighed.  “I can’t wait.”

I laughed.  “See if you still feel that way after a few nights sleeping out.”

Candy tore his bread in half.  “And when you get back, you can look forward to roundup.  Three more weeks sleeping on the range.”

“Three?” Pa queried.

“Yeah.  I’ve decided to get the branding done at the range camp.  It’s more efficient and will save time, but it’s too far to ride home and back each day.”

“You mean I won’t see you for three weeks?”

Pa smiled at Charlotte.  “We could take a ride out, watch the branding?”

“I don’t think Charlotte will want to see that.”

“Oh, Joe,” Charlotte reproved.  “I can take seeing a calf branded.”

“We don’t just brand them.”

“Yeah.  The steers are for market, not mating,” Candy added.

Tilting her head, Charlotte asked, “How does that work?”

Candy gave her a wink.  “With a real sharp pair of shears.”

I rolled my eyes at my foreman.  Realization hit my wife, and she bit her lip.  “Oh.  Yes.  I’m not sure I’d want to see that.”

Patting her hand, I put the matter to bed.  “I agree.”

***

I halted my walk from the barn when the wagon rolled in.  Hands on hips, I waited for it to stop before approaching.

“Howdy.  Can I help?”

“Are you, Cartwright?”

“One of them.  Joe Cartwright.  What can I do for you?”

“I hear you’re looking to hire.”

Scratching my chin, I summed the man up.  He had the air of a guard dog, wary and mean.  My gaze flicked to the young woman sitting next to him, who looked back with large, anxious eyes. 

“You got experience?”

“Plenty.  I got references.”

Surprised, I raised my brows.  The man’s name was Tate Wilson, but the references didn’t say much.  Just enough, but nothing more.  “You don’t stay in one place long.”

“We like to move around.”  As if sensing my reluctance, he added, “I ain’t a drinker, and I’m a hard worker.”

“Okay.  Pay’s thirty dollars a month.  Married couples get a cabin.”

“Sounds good.”

Calling one of the men to show them the way, I watched the wagon roll out, hoping I hadn’t made a mistake.

***

Chapter Six

I’d been on my share of the packhorse swing trips with Pa and always enjoyed the time together, but this one would always be my favorite.  The Ponderosa had never looked so beautiful, yet Charlotte put it in the shade. 

Although never shy, Charlotte was reserved, and pride filled my chest each time I introduced her and saw her efforts to charm the crusty, experienced hands who spent most of the year alone.  When we reached the East Camp, Betsy Rush and her daughter greeted us.

“Clint will be pleased to see you,” she enthused.

I picked up their three-year-old and tickled her under the chin.  “Where is he?”

“He and Tom are fixing the windmill on the west section.”  Tom was the extra hand I’d talk Pa into hiring to work with Clint.  The breeding operation had warranted it, and this gave Clint an extra pair of hands to help extend his home to accommodate the growing family.  “Come in and meet Clint Junior.”

We sat at the table in her neat kitchen while Betsy poured coffee and served a slice of her famous apple pie.  Charlotte cuddled the babe, cooing and praising as women do.  She stroked the pink cheek and explored the tiny hands and feet.  The softness that entered her eyes when they lingered on the child shifted the sands of my memories to disturb buried feelings, thoughts of what might have been laid their sad fingers on my soul.  I shook them off.  The past was done.  My future sat before me.

“Isn’t he beautiful?” Charlotte asked.

“Sure is.”

Betsy laughed.  “Menfolk can’t be bothered with other folks’ babes.”

I denied the accusation only to be laughed at by them both.  The arrival of Clint saved me from further mockery.  Clint slapped me on the back.  “Let’s leave the womenfolk to their chattering.”

Grinning, I followed him outside.  I was happy to leave them to talk.  Betsy could do with the female company.  Living in an outlying camp wasn’t an easy life for a woman.

Clint insisted we stay the night, and bacon, eggs, beans, fried potatoes, and biscuits greeted us in the morning.

“Betsy, you’re spoiling us,” I told her and planted a kiss on her cheek.

“You heading to the South Camp next?” Clint asked as I piled some eggs onto my plate.

“Yeah.  Pa wants me to see how Mac’s doing.  Not every man can take being alone like that.”

“How’s ol’ Coop taking to life back among folks?”

Bill Cooper had manned the South Camp for over ten years.  Retired from that post last year, we’d moved him back to the bunk house.  I scratched my head.  “Well, he’s getting used to it.”

Clint laughed at what I didn’t say.  He knew Coop better than anyone. 

We said our goodbyes and headed out.  Quiet for a long time, I glanced over at Charlotte.  “You, all right?”

She smiled.  “Oh, just wishing and dreaming.”

I didn’t need to ask what about.  I moved Cochise closer and put out my hand.  Her fingers slipped between mine.  “Me too.”

The time and miles slipped by like Charlotte’s silk ribbons through my fingers.  Side by side, we gazed into the crackling fire while she listened to my plans.  It was easy to keep talking while those eyes were fixed on me, wide with interest and love.  When I stopped and gazed deep into them, it was easy to do something else.

Each day, Charlotte appeared more and more at home.  When I’d met her, she’d almost dumped steak and eggs in my lap.  I could see she hadn’t been a waitress for long.  Used to city living, the Ponderosa had been a big change.  But she sure took to it.

Teaching her to ride had been a pure pleasure.  Graceful in the saddle as she was out of it, I couldn’t get enough of watching her move with the horse.  The sight still sent a thrill through me.

“What?”

The question broke through my daydreaming.  “Huh?”

“You’ve not said a word for ages, and now you’re staring.  Is something wrong?”

“Not from where I’m sitting.”  She smiled, and my stomach flipped.  Needing to focus, I looked about.  “We can water the horses at the creek up ahead.”

I let the horses drink, pulled off my boots and socks, and stuck my feet in the water.  With a gasp, I snatched them out when the ice-cold liquid hit.  Easing them back in, I dropped back on the ground.

From her vantage point on a rock, Charlotte shaded her eyes and gazed at the pine-covered slopes.  “Where are we?”

“Almost home.  One more night, and we’ll be back.”

Charlotte sat next to me.  Her words held a mournful edge.  “And our time alone together will be over.”

I pulled her down into my arms.  “Not for long.  I plan to get right on and finish our house.”

“Oh, Joe.  Thank you.”

With her arms around me, her soft lips on mine, the sun on my back, the grass beneath my feet, and no soul in sight, I could do only one thing.  We both enjoyed my doing it.

***

Chapter Seven

Pa was there to greet us when we rode in.  He limped toward us, leaning on a walking stick, but he couldn’t keep the smile off his face at having us back.

“Did you enjoy yourself?”

Hugging him, Charlotte replied, “It was wonderful.”

I’d returned with a long list of recommendations and tasks that needed to be done.  But it was worth it.  The camps were essential to the continued operation of the Ponderosa.  Pa and I went through the tasks together, prioritizing what needed to be done first and deciding who would do them.

“You did a good job.”

“Thanks.  Say, did you have any visitors while I was away?”

“Only the usual.  Why?”

“When we stopped at Clint’s, he mentioned a fella had ridden out from Indian City and asked about me.”

“Oh?  Did he say who he was?”

“Didn’t give a name.  But Clint said he asked all sorts of questions.”

“When was this?”

“A few days before we got there.”

“I shouldn’t worry.  Probably a salesman digging for information to help make a sale.”

“Yeah.  I guess.  But if he’s after selling some new contraption, he’s got the wrong Cartwright.”

Pa laughed, and his eyes took on a distant look.  “Yeah.  Your brother sure liked an invention.”

“He sure did.”  I squeezed Pa’s shoulder.  “Think I’ll ride out and take a look at those horses that Candy says are doing so well.”

“I’m glad you two enjoyed the trip.”

“Thanks for suggesting I take Charlotte.”  We exchanged smiles, and I headed out the door.

***

I kept my promise.  Every afternoon after getting ranch business done, I worked on the house.  Soon as they finished, Candy and Griff joined me to help.  It was coming along, and I was excited to show Charlotte the progress.  She seemed impressed.

“This is where the staircase will be?”

“Yep.  Four bedrooms upstairs, and the washroom next to the kitchen, same as the main house.”

“It’s a lovely big kitchen.”

“We’ll be eating there too.  I hadn’t planned a dining area.  Unless you want one?”

“No.  This is perfect.”  Gliding to the window, Charlotte gazed out.  “And the view is perfect too.”

“We can watch the sunset every evening from the front porch.  Hey.  What’s all this?”  I wiped the tears from her cheek and looked into her eyes, drowning in more. 

When she laughed, it gurgled with emotion.  “I’m just so happy.”

My hands cupped her face.  I smiled.  “Crying whenever you’re happy?  What am I going to do with you?”

“You could kiss me.”

I didn’t need telling twice.

***

Chapter Eight

“Joe?”

“Hmmm.”

“I’m worried.”

I looked up from my book.  “Worried?”

“Yes.  Have you seen Mr. Wilson’s wife?”

“Wilson?”

“The new man you hired.”

“I met her when they arrived.  Young and pretty.  Sort of,” I added in a rush.

“I don’t mean that.  I mean, have you seen the bruises?”

“Bruises?”  I closed my book and shifted in the bed.  This wasn’t going places I wanted to go.

“I’ve seen her a few times with bruises on her face and arms.  I asked the other women, and they said it’s been like that since she arrived.  I think he hits her.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.  But it’s not our business.”

“How can you say that?  He works for you.  You can’t just stand by while he beats his wife.”

I took Charlotte’s hand within mine.  “A few bruises?  We don’t know he caused them.”

“But—”

“I pay the man to work.  His marriage is his own affair.”

“If she’s living on the Ponderosa, it should be yours.”

Her earnestness gave me pause.  “All right.  I’ll talk to Candy, and we’ll keep an eye on him.”

It didn’t satisfy her, but it was all I was prepared to offer.  Pa had always told us to stay out of a man’s private life.  Interfering was never a good idea.  Of course, that plan didn’t always pan out, but we tried.

Reaching for the book she hadn’t been reading for the past half hour, I laid it aside with mine and turned down the lamp.  There was one way to take her mind off Mrs. Wilson. 

I feathered my lips down her neck like kissing a delicate flower.  With slow but determined purpose, my fingers moved along her shoulder to push down her nightdress.  From the top of her neck to the hollow at its base, my lips continued their journey.  The sigh she released at their touch made my pulse jump.  After Alice, I never thought I’d meet another woman who’d ignite the same feelings within me.  I wanted Charlotte to feel all the love and desire she’d blessed me with.

The white cotton of her nightdress hung in loose folds over her shoulder.  My mouth explored the breast it exposed.  The taste of her skin mingled with her favorite lavender soap.  Her arms wrapped around my back in response to my movements, and she lifted one knee to press against my hip.

I wanted nothing between us.  Breaking apart, I yanked off my nightshirt and turned my attention to Charlotte’s.  My hands slipped up her body, revealing her shimmering flesh bit by bit.  My eyes roamed over every rise and fall and curve, marveling at how nature had sculpted this woman to perfection.  Nightgown removed, I couldn’t resist exploring those beautiful crevices.  Letting my fingertips trace down and around her hip bone over the rise of her stomach and across her belly button. 

“You’re beautiful,” I told her.

She smiled and reached for me.  Long fingers wound around my neck and hair, pulling me down.  My lips found hers, and her mouth welcomed my tongue that penetrated the moist interior.  My hands continued their exploration, and our tongues began to dance as our excitement rose.

I held back.  Tonight was about her enjoyment.  I wanted to awaken sensations in her she’d never felt before.  Take her to the edge of delightful agony and then ecstasy.

Skin touched skin, and the heat stoked the fires within us.  My hands moved to her intimate parts to continue my mission of fulfillment.  The rise and fall of her hips let me know I was succeeding.  Our breathing increased in unison.  The sweat that slicked our bodies matched the moisture my probing fingers drew from her.

She broke our kiss.  Hot breath fluttered against my cheek, and her one word whispered into my ear was little more than a groan, “Now.”

We became one and tumbled over the edge together.

I rolled onto my side, pulling her with me.  I kissed her long and slow.  “I love you.”

Her hand ran down my cheek.  “I’m so glad.”

Holding her close, we drifted off to sleep.

***

Chapter Nine

Candy drew up his horse and called, “Joe.  You’d better get down to the workers’ cabins.  We’ve got trouble.”

Dismounting outside the one I’d assigned to Tate Wilson, I heard raised voices.  One was Tate’s.  The other was my wife’s.  I turned to Candy.  “Charlotte?”

He pulled a face, and I strode through the door.  On one side of the table in the small room, Tate stared at my wife, who shielded his.

“What’s going on?”

Tate turned his glare on me and pointed at Charlotte.  “That woman of yours is sticking her nose where it don’t belong.”

In response, Charlotte grabbed Mrs. Wilson and thrust her toward me.  I couldn’t miss the livid bruise on her cheek.

“Look!  Look at what this brute did.”

“This true.  You did that?”

“Yeah.  I did that.  What’s a man supposed to do when he catches his wife making up to another fella?”

I groaned.  This was why you stayed out of folk’s private business.  But I didn’t hold with hitting women.   “Something other than using your fist,” I put my hand out to Charlotte.  “C’mon, let’s go.”

“We can’t leave Eliza with him.”  My look let her know I was serious.  Charlotte’s jaw jutted, and a frown descended.  “No.  He’ll hit her again.”

“I’m sure he won’t.  Am I right?”  I gave Tate the same look.  He was in the mood to be belligerent, and I couldn’t blame him.  No man appreciates his home being invaded, but he backed down enough to give me a nod.  I turned back to Charlotte and extended my hand further.  She didn’t budge. 

“You don’t believe him?”

“He’s her husband.”

Charlotte’s hands clenched into fists.  “That doesn’t give him the right to beat her.”

“What else can I do when she acts like a whore.  I’ve got my pride.”

“You’re a pig!”

I stepped between them, stopping the man in his tracks. 

“That’s enough.  You might have the right, but keep your hands off your wife while you work for us.”

“Then I quit!”

“No!  You can’t leave.”  I winced at the distress in Charlotte’s voice, which turned to concern when she grabbed Tate’s wife’s hands.  “You don’t have to go with him.”

This was going too far.  Like it or not, they were married.  Taking Charlotte’s arm, I turned her to face me.  “She’s his wife.  She has to go.”

For a long moment, she stared at me, her look hard to interpret.  Then, after casting a glance filled with loathing at Tate, she broke away and ran from the cabin.  I let her go.  She needed time to calm down.

Tate turned to his wife.  “Start packing.” 

“Come up to the house when you’re ready, and I’ll have what we owe.” 

Tate nodded, and I left.  Guilt kicked me in the gut, but what could I do? 

Still waiting outside, Candy must’ve heard the whole thing, but my taciturn foreman said nothing until I asked, “Well?”

He raised his eyebrows.  “You won’t like it.”  He shrugged at my look.  “Little Mrs. Wilson likes to flirt.  And I mean flirt.”

“You heard this?”

“Yeah, and experienced it.  She wandered into the storage barn when I was alone.  She gives off the front of being an injured rose, but I’m telling you, that lady ain’t no lady.  Her hands were down my pants before I knew what she was doing.”  Candy looked back at the cabin as if considering the couple inside.  “I got out of there quick and warned the men to keep their distance, but I could only do so much with a girl like that.  I heard that’s why Tate moves around.” 

I shook my head.  What a mess.

Pa was alone when I walked in, standing in front of the fireplace, hands deep in his pockets.  I knew that pose well.

“Where’s Charlotte?”

“Upstairs.  What happened?  She bolted in here like a rabbit running from a fox.”

I gave Pa the facts, and he pursed his lips.  “Hmm.  Well.  You did the right thing.”

“Thanks.  I’d better go talk to her.”

When I was halfway up the stairs, he called, “Joe.  She meant well.”

“I know.”

My wife sat in the chair by the window, wiping tears from her forlorn face with a crumpled handkerchief.  When I entered, she sprang up and ran into my arms.

“I’m so sorry.  I did everything wrong.”

“It’s all right.”

“But I made things worse.  It’s thanks to me they’re leaving.  If I hadn’t, I could’ve helped her.”

“Honey, I have something to tell you.”

When I finished, Charlotte walked to the window and stood with her back to me.  “She told me he was insanely jealous.  That she couldn’t so much as look at another man without him getting furious and hitting her.  I pitied her so much, especially since ….”

Her words drifted off, but she continued to gaze out the window.  After a few moments, I prompted, “Since?”

She glanced back over her shoulder, “Oh.  Since she’s so young.”

I felt that wasn’t what Charlotte was going to say, but I didn’t press.  “If she doesn’t want to make him jealous, she knows what to do.”  When Charlotte dropped back into the chair, I asked, “You all right?”

“Other than feeling like a fool?  Yes.”

“Don’t feel bad because you cared.  That’s another reason why I love you.”  I kissed her and was pleased to see her smile.  “I’d better go.  Wilson will be up to the house wanting his pay.”

I turned in the doorway and was disturbed to see the look I couldn’t understand back on her face.  Something more than that woman’s duplicity bothered her.  Quieter than usual throughout dinner, after we climbed into bed, I asked what was wrong.

“I can’t help thinking about Eliza.   I know it wasn’t right of her to play up to those other men, but she was so unhappy.  Why shouldn’t she leave if she made a bad decision?”

I frowned.  “A marriage isn’t something you discard when it becomes tough.  It’s a commitment.  Forever.”

There was a long pause before Charlotte spoke, “Seems harsh to have to pay for one mistake your whole life.  I guess it’s true what they say.  Marry in haste, repent at leisure.”

A tingle of concern prickled over my scalp.  I twisted so I could get a better look at Charlotte’s face.  “Do you regret marrying me so quickly?”

The quiver of her flesh against mine as the giggle ran through her settled my concern.  “Of course not.”  Her warm breath tickled my chest when she laughed again and snuggled closer.  “I know how lucky I am.”

Relieved to see her dark mood lifted, I kissed the top of her head.  “That makes two of us.”

***

Chapter Ten

I looked the ‘dude’ up and down.  Dressed in a suit and garish waistcoat, he tipped his Derby hat and smiled.

“Is Mr. Joseph Cartwright at home?”  Salesman.  My gaze dropped to the floor and then out to his buggy to spot any outlandish contraptions.  There wasn’t even a bag.  “Are you Joseph Cartwright?”

“That’s right.”

“My name is Henry Moody.  I have a matter of some delicacy and importance to discuss with you.  Might I come in?”

I stepped back.  Pa moved forward, took the man’s hand, and introduced himself.  “Have a seat, Mr. Moody.  What can we do for you?”

The man smiled, and the hairs on the back of my neck raised.  He was oily enough to be a salesman.  Politician?

“I understand, Mr. Cartwright, that you were recently married.  Is your wife at home?”

My chest relaxed.  He was a salesman.  “She’s in the kitchen.  I can fetch her.”

“No.  I think it’s best she not be present for this discussion.”

I folded my arms across my chest.  “What’s this about?”

“Let me explain.  I’m married too.  My wife and I lived in St. Louis.” 

I glanced at Pa.  He was wondering where this was going, and so was I.  “And?”

“A while ago, we had some difficulties.  Disagreements that turned into arguments.  I’m ashamed to say I let things escalate.”  He stopped and took a deep breath.  “The truth is my wife ran away, and I’ve been looking for her ever since.  It took me a while to find her.  You see, I’d searched for her under my name.  But then I looked under her maiden name.  I finally tracked her down to Virginia City.  You can imagine my distress when I learned she’d done the unthinkable and married another man.”

Knots tied up my stomach, and the arms across my chest tightened.  “What’s that got to do with me?”

“Everything.  You see, her maiden name is Weaver.”

“If this is some kinda joke, mister.  It isn’t funny.”

Moody reached into his pocket and drew out a piece of paper.  Unfolding it, he held it out.  I stared at the printed words – Marriage License – before taking it between numb fingers. 

“No joke.  You see.  Charlotte Weaver is my wife.”

My fists balled into his jacket.  I had Moody out of his seat before he could form another word.  “What game are you playing?”

Pa’s hands restrained me.  “Joseph.”

“This snake can’t come into my home and make accusations against my wife.”

I dragged Moody toward the door.  He was about to get kicked through it. 

“Henry!”

My head snapped towards my wife.  “You know him?”

Color drained from Charlotte’s cheeks.  One hand kneaded into the other.  “Yes.  I … we ….”

An invisible fist smacked me in the face, and the floor rocked beneath me.  Moody disentangled himself from my frozen clutches.  I let him go.  Turning to Charlotte, I held out the crumpled license to her.  “You’re his wife?”

Where she was white before, Charlotte’s face flushed crimson.  “No!”  Her gaze snapped back to Moody.  “Why can’t you let me go?”

Moody snatched the paper from me.  “You didn’t think I would let you run away?  A husband has rights.”

“You’re not my husband!”  Charlotte spun back to me.  “He’s not!”

I couldn’t move.  What was I seeing here?  Then Charlotte stepped toward me.  God help me, I stepped back.  Hurt descended on her features.  She fled up the stairs. 

Pa moved and instructed Moody to leave.

“Of course.”  Moody carefully folded the damning document and placed it back in the inside pocket of his jacket.  “I’m staying in town at The International.  You can send her to me there.”

“I won’t be sending her anywhere.  I don’t know what game you’re playing, but Charlotte is my wife.”

Moody patted his jacket.  “I have something that says otherwise.”

Pa caught my arm to hold me in place.  With another tip of his hat, Moody left.

I walked to the fireplace.  When Pa followed, I turned to face him.  “I know what you’re gonna say.  I rushed the marriage.”

“I’d never say that.”  I flashed him a look, and Pa put up his hands.  “All right.  I admit.  I was concerned at first.  But, Joe.  I was wrong.  Charlotte is a wonderful woman.  You made the right choice.”

“Did I?”

“You don’t believe him?”  The certainty in his tone shook me.  Where was mine?

“I need to speak to Charlotte.”

Pa caught my arm.  “Don’t go up there angry.  Take a moment.”

I shook him off.  “I can handle my own affairs.”

The door opened under my thrust.  I stepped into the room and confronted my wife.  Could I even call her that?  She turned from the window.  Her face pale but controlled.

“Who is he?”

“I met him after my parents died.  He courted me.  It was a mistake.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about him?”

“He was why I left St. Louis, and … I wanted to forget about him.”

“And the marriage license?”

Charlotte threw her hands out in a gesture of frustration.  “I don’t know where he got that.  We were engaged but never married.”

“Engaged?”  I clenched my fist tighter, trying to hold on to the control I felt slipping away.  “What else haven’t you told me?”

“Nothing.”

“Did you and he ever?”  I watched the last of the color drain from her face.  She was quivering.  Whether from fear or anger, I didn’t know.  I couldn’t see past my fury to tell.  “Did you?” 

“How can you ask me that?”

My fingers groped for the doorknob.  “I need some air.”

I left the room.  I didn’t look back.

Pa’s questions couldn’t stop me.  I didn’t care where I went.  Space and time were my only goals.  I kept walking.

Rocks, twigs, pinecones, who cares?  They stood no chance.  I kicked them out of my path.  What are you doing?  Go back, talk it out.  But the damned marriage license reared up in my mind’s eye, and questions I didn’t want hammered at my skull.  Why would this man make up a lie like that?  Forge a document?  Why come all this way if it wasn’t true?  What did he have to gain?  Why didn’t Charlotte tell me about him?

My chest heaved.  I wanted to tear it open and rip my heart from my body.  Then I found myself at the one place I could find peace.

Pa found me slumped on a stump, fingers laced between my knees.

“How did you know?” I asked.

“Wasn’t hard.  I come here, too, when I need time to think.”

Lowering himself next to me, we gazed at the stone before us.

“D’you think we’ll ever stop?”  At Pa’s look of inquiry, I continued, “Missing him?”

Pa’s hand came around my shoulders.  “No.”

I nodded.  I knew the answer already.  My brother was too big a part of me not to miss.

“What did she say?”

“They were engaged.”  I ducked my head and ground my teeth.  “Engaged, and I never knew.”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes!  No.  I don’t know.”

“What else did she say?”

“She wanted to explain, but ….” I petered off. 

“You didn’t give her the chance?  Don’t you think you should?”

“What if …?”  I couldn’t continue, put my fears into words.

“You love her, don’t you?”  I nodded.  “Then let her explain and deal with the rest when it comes.”  There was a reason why this man was the best pa in the whole world.  I straightened my shoulders.  “C’mon.  Let’s get back.”

***

Sitting at her dresser, her face buried in her hands, Charlotte sobbed.  When she heard me enter, her hands dashed across her face to hide the tears.  I hadn’t known what I was going to say, what I was going to ask.  But all that disappeared at the sadness I saw breaking within her eyes.  Nothing mattered except I’d done that to her.

Pulling her into my arms, I told her I was sorry.  She clung to me and cried anew.  Relief flowed in these tears.  I didn’t share it.  My fingers traced her face.  This was the beautiful woman I fell in love with.  But doubt rooted deep in my soul.  I forced those thoughts aside and had her sit back down.

“Tell me.”

Charlotte wiped her face, and I passed her my handkerchief.  She blew her nose, sniffed, and then clasped her hands in her lap.

“First, I need to tell you about my parents.  They adored me and each other.  I don’t think there were ever two people so devoted.  Pa was everything to my mother, and when he became ill, her world fell apart.  The illness was gradual.  To watch the man she worshipped slipping away bit by bit, day after day, month after month, was too much.  She fell into melancholy.  Nursing was too hard, too painful a task.  All she could do was sit with him.  So, I took on that role.”  I reached for her hands, but she shook mine away.  “I’m not complaining.  I was happy to do it.  I loved my parents.  I tell you this only, so you’ll understand.  Friends vanished, and between caring for them and running our store, I had no time for anything else.”

“I’m sorry.”

She ignored my words and wrapped her hands back together.  “After Pa passed away, I prayed that Mama would recover and become her old self again.  I was so relieved the morning after the funeral when she took a walk.  Oh, Joe.  If you could’ve seen her.  How fine she looked with her hair the way Pa liked it.  When she kissed me, I could smell his favorite perfume.  The police officer came later and told me there’d been an accident.  She’d fallen and drowned in the river.”

“Charlotte—”

“It’s all right.  She’s with Pa and happy.”

“I wish you’d told me.”

“Why?  So you could feel sorry for me?  I wasn’t looking for pity.” 

Put in my place, I apologized.  “Is that when you met Moody?”

Charlotte nodded and began to pleat my handkerchief.  “He was a salesman and came to the store.  He was kind and interested in me. After a few weeks, we went to lunch.  It was nice.  I saw no reason not to accept his invitation to dinner.  Then, in the middle of the meal, he asked me to marry him. 

“I was stunned.  It was ridiculous to talk of marriage already.  I thought he’d understand.  Instead, he pressed me further.  Every day, he would come to the shop.  Sometimes more than once a day.  After two weeks, I’d had enough.  I asked him to stop visiting.  That should have been the end of it, but ….”  Charlotte sat forward.  “Have you ever been hounded day and night?  Given no peace?”

A chill echoed down my spine.  “Is that what he did?”

“Yes.  Everywhere I went, he was there.  He wrote me notes.  Sent me gifts.  Then I returned from the market one day to find a rose on my bed.”

When I saw her hands tremble, I took them in mine.  This time she didn’t shake me off.  “Did you report him?”

“Oh, yes.  It was horrible.  The way those men stared at me.  They couldn’t understand my problem.  A woman unhappy because a man wished to marry her and showed it by sending her gifts?  They thought I should accept.”

“And that’s why you came here?”

“No.  Not at first.  I sold what I could, gave up the shop, and moved to an apartment in another part of St. Louis, away from my old neighborhood.  I got a job and carried on.  For three months, I thought I was free of him.”  She broke off.  Her bottom lip quivered.

“He found you?”

Charlotte nodded and brushed away a fresh tear.  “It was as if I’d never left.  He was mad at me for worrying him, but he forgave me.  Then he asked me to marry him again.  I’d never felt so trapped.”

“I wish I’d been there.  What did you do?”

“I saw no choice but to get away.  He couldn’t know what I was planning.  That’s when I accepted his proposal.  It was a ruse, Joe, nothing more.  If we were engaged, I thought he’d relax and not be such a guard dog.  It worked.  I packed a bag, took every penny I had, and bought a ticket on the train west.”

It all made sense, and I had no reason to doubt her story, but something niggled at me.  “What about the license?”

“I can’t explain it.”

My anger had given way to doubt.  Did I believe that?  I had another question.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She dropped her gaze and bit her lip.  “It was too recent.  Too hard to share.”

“I understand that about your parents.  But Moody?”

“I should have.  I know.  But I didn’t want to even think about Henry.  I was just glad to be rid of him.”

Was I convinced?  I couldn’t answer that right now, but I did know one thing.  “Yes.  We both want that.”

I made for the door.  Charlotte’s voice hitched when she asked, “Where’re you going?”

“To see him.”

“Don’t!”

“Why not?”

“He … he could be dangerous.”

“He threatened you?”

“No.  Never. But ….”

I looked at my wife’s desperate face and wondered why she didn’t want me to speak to this man.  “I can handle him.”

Candy was back, and Pa broke off talking to him when I came down and strapped on my gun belt.  “What’s going on?”

“I’m going to town.”

“To see Moody?”

“That’s right.”  Pa gave Candy a look and hitched his head toward me.  “I don’t need a bodyguard.”

“He’s not going for you.”

I crammed on my hat and slammed out the door. 

***

Chapter Eleven

I was three miles down the road to Virginia City before Cooch got pulled to a halt, and I let Candy catch up.  When I set Cooch into a walk again, I shot a look at my foreman.  He grinned back.  I readjusted my hat.

“What’s the plan?”

“Find Moody.”

“And then?”

My hand tightened around my bridle.  What was the plan?  My gut reaction was to bury the guy.  The next was to run him out.  Except he had that marriage license tucked in his pocket. 

“We go see a lawyer.”

***

Moody looked up from his plate of chicken.  He wiped his mouth with his napkin before he spoke, “Well, this is a delight.  Is Charlotte with you?”

My knuckles rested on the table as I leaned toward him.  Better looking than I would’ve liked, he had a smarmy charm the ladies went for.  I itched to bury my fist so deep into his face I wouldn’t find it for a month.

“Moody.  You’re coming to see my lawyer.  He’s going to take a look at that marriage license.”

“Why should I do that?”

I straightened.  My hand rested on my gun.  “Let’s go.”

Moody’s gaze traveled from me to Candy, who smiled down at the man in a way that wasn’t friendly.  “Seems I have no choice.”

***

The door of Hiram’s office closed.  I watched Moody saunter down the steps and across the street before I turned to look at our family lawyer.

“It looks real enough.”

My shoulders slumped.  I was foolish to hope it would prove an obvious forgery.  “What can I do?”

“I could wire the County Clerk where the license was issued.  Have them confirm the marriage registration.”  I ducked my head.  How would that look to Charlotte?  Seeing my reluctance, Hiram added, “If he takes it to a judge, we’d have to prove it a forgery anyway.”

“Yeah.  I know, but….”  Indecision baited me. 

Hiram dropped his gaze and shuffled a bunch of papers on his desk.  After a moment, he cleared his throat and asked, “What does he want, Joe?  If the license is fake.  What does he hope to gain?”

“I don’t know.  It’s time I found out.”

I marched across to the International.  Moody wasn’t in the dining room, and asking for his room number, I headed up the stairs.  By now, Candy had joined me.  There was no point telling him to butt out.  Orders from Pa or not, he wouldn’t let me do this alone.

My fist thumped the door.  After a minute, Moody answered.  Giving him no chance to close it, we barged inside.

“All right, Moody.  What d’you want?  Money?”

“I told you.  I want my wife.”

“She’s not your wife.”

He hauled out the paper and waved it under my nose.  “This says different!”

I snatched the license, crushed it into a ball, and flung it back in his face.  “It’s a worthless forgery.” 

“Saying that doesn’t change the truth.”

“You’re leaving!”  Grabbing his bag from the corner of the room, I flung it on the bed, yanked open a drawer of the dresser, and began to toss in his clothes.

“Throw me out.  I’ll come back.  Charlotte belongs to me.  She’s my wife in every sense of the word.  D’you understand?  Wherever you’ve been, I’ve been there first.”  

I heard Candy’s shouting but not the words, as his hands clamped over my arms, dragging me back. 

Mouth hanging open, Moody massaged his neck under his mangled collar and necktie.  Wide eyes stared back into mine.  “You tried to strangle me!”

“I’ll do more’n that!”

Straightening up, he glared into my eyes.  “I’m being good to you, Cartwright.  Giving you a chance.  If you don’t send Charlotte back, I’ll go to a judge.  She’ll be exposed as a bigamist and you, a fool!”

My boots scraped the wood as Candy dragged me through the door.  Pulled down the corridor, I flung back, “You come anywhere near my wife, I’ll kill you!”

***

Chapter Twelve

Stepping out of the bank, Pa smiled at me.  “Well, how about some lunch?”

I expected it, but still balked at the suggestion.  

Charlotte and Pa had been waiting when Candy and I returned from our confrontation with Moody.

I saw the look Pa exchanged with Candy before he asked, “Is he gone?”

“Not yet.  But he’s got nothing to stay for.”  Charlotte pursed her lips and looked away.  The muscle in my jaw twitched.  “Has he?”

Blue eyes flashed up at me.  “No.  But I told you.  Henry doesn’t take no for an answer.”

I didn’t know what to think, and three days later, Moody was still in town.  Being in Virginia City with him prowling around was the last thing I wanted to do.  Plus, things needed my attention back at the ranch.  But I couldn’t say no to Pa.  We headed for our usual place, Delmonico’s, and ordered Hoss’s favorite meal.  It had become a tradition, a kind of silent remembrance.

Halfway through our first cup of coffee, Pa stiffened.  My jaw clenched when I saw what’d caught his attention.  Moody strolled to a table.  When he raised a hand in salute, I turned away.

Sick to my stomach, my appetite dried to a crisp.  I pulled out my wallet.  “C’mon, let’s go.”

“You’re not going to let him run you out?”  My wallet slapped back into my inside pocket, and I took a gulp of coffee.  The bitterness of the brew bit the back of my throat, but Pa’s next comment almost made me choke.  “Let’s ask him to join us.”

“What?”

“You wanna know what he’s up to, don’t you?”

“The only thing I wanna know is he’s leaving.”

“Maybe we’ll find that out.”

“Pa—”  Too late. He was out of his seat and gone.  My hand balled around my napkin.  I heaved in breaths to steady the racing of my heart that had gone into overdrive.  What the heck was Pa thinking?  I wanted to beat the guy black and blue, not sit down to eat with him.

Moody’s slim frame lowered into the chair opposite.  “Well, isn’t this civilized?  Thank you, Cartwright.”

“Wasn’t my idea.”

Pa cleared his throat and threw me a look that told me to behave.  I curled my lip and took another slug of my coffee.

“You’ve traveled a long way, Mr. Moody,” Pa began.

“Nowhere is too far when it comes to Charlotte.  She means the world to me.”

“Is that why she ran away?”

“Joseph.”

“It’s all right.  It’s a fair question.  As I told you, we had some disagreements.  I admit.  I’m a jealous man, and I behaved badly.  I realize now.  I was at fault.”

“And when do you claim you were married?”

I gaped at Pa.  I know he was fishing for information, but to sit there and hear Moody talk was more than I could bear.  His hand closed around my wrist.

“Not claim, Mr. Cartwright.  We were married.  Eighteen months ago.”

The fingers around my wrist tightened as Pa brushed over the reply.  “And you’ve looked for her how long?”

“Almost a year.”

“Don’t you have a job to get back to?”

Moody’s smirk had me wishing we weren’t in a crowded restaurant.  “I tendered my notice before I came to Nevada.  It was a small sacrifice to find my beloved.  Besides, a good salesman can get a job anywhere, and I’m a very good salesman.”

The plates of food arrived.  I couldn’t throw mine in his face, but neither could I eat. 

“Sorry, Pa.”

“Leaving?  Come now, Cartwright.  Can’t we discuss Charlotte’s return?”

“I’m not discussing anything with you, and especially not my wife.”

I strode away and didn’t look back.  If Pa wanted to make small talk with that weasel, let him.  I had better things to do, like taking care of business. 

Back at the ranch, I headed for the corrals to check on the horses for roundup.  When Pa rode up, I left the crew to meet him. 

He was there to talk about Moody, but I didn’t wanna hear it.  I launched into a description of the horses.  My father crossed his arms and waited me out.  Running out of animals, I pushed back my hat, put my hands on my hips, and ducked my head.  “All right, what did he say?”

“Not much.  Other than he wants Charlotte back and showed me the license.”

“He’s a liar.”

“Of course, but ….”

My head came up, and I fixed narrowed eyes on my father, “What?”

“He believes she’s in love with him.”  Pa’s hand came up to forestall my comment.  “I’m saying he believes it, not that it’s true.”

“What are you saying?”

“He thinks he can fix whatever their problems are.  To him, they are still together.”

I couldn’t understand it.  Why would he think that unless ….  “Or they are married, and he has a right to think that way.”

Pa frowned.  “You know that’s not true.”

“Do I?”

“Joseph.”

I turned away.  Lifting my face to the sky, I ran a hand down it.  “I’m sorry, Pa.  I don’t know what I’m saying.”

That familiar hand squeezed my shoulder.  “This is a shock.  But you’ll both get through it.”

I gave Pa the smile he wanted and hoped he was right.

***

“Well?”

I closed the record book of men we’d spent the day hiring for the roundup and nodded at Candy.  “We did okay.  Enough hands and a few to spare.”

Candy heaved a sigh.  “Great.  I wasn’t looking forward to another shorthanded roundup.”

I couldn’t have agreed more.  Last year had been tough thanks to a new vein of silver tapped in the Chollar mine and an influenza outbreak, but we were in good shape this year. 

“Beer?”

Candy liked my suggestion.  Settling into my seat, I took a long pull from my glass, cradled it against my chest, and tilted back my chair.  I breathed in the noise.  Virginia City was never quiet.  Miners coming on and off shift were a constant stream on the streets, and the never-ending pounding of the stamp mills filled the air.  But the beer was good.  I’d taken my third swallow when Moody sidled through the doors.  “What the hell?”

“Coincidence,” Candy told me.

“With all the saloons in town?”

Hell!  I couldn’t get a meal and now a beer without him appearing.  He was like a tick I couldn’t scrub off.  Every time I saw him, the same question returned.  Why?  What did he hope to gain if he and Charlotte weren’t married? 

When I jerked upright, Candy started, “You leaving?”

“Yeah.”

I walked out without giving Moody a look.  Candy followed.

“You could try ignoring him?”

“Could you?”  Candy lifted an eyebrow and, after a beat, pulled a face.  “That’s what I thought.”

***

Chapter Thirteen

With the chores piling up, this was the last thing I needed.  I dropped Cooch’s hoof back to the ground and twitched his rein over his head. 

“Guess we’re walking you home.”  While we strolled, I told Cooch not to worry ‘cause we’d get his stone bruise taken care of, “After all, I need you in good shape for roundup.”

Approaching the house from the back, I came around the wood store and froze.  A buggy stood in the yard.  Beside it, my wife chatted to Moody.  Cooch’s rein slipped from my fingers.  My feet kept me moving forward while my mind focused on their conversation.

“You have to leave.  Joe will be back any minute.”

“All right, I’ll go.  But, please remember, come back to me, and I’ll make everything right.”

Like a runaway train, I steamed into Moody and finally got the satisfaction of smashing my fist into his jaw.  Charlotte’s scream to stop snapped my head around.  What the hell?  Was she protecting him? 

Running out from the side door, Hop Sing threw himself between us.  Behind him, Moody scrambled to his feet.  “What you do?  Why you hit man from store?”

“He’s Moody.”

Hop Sing spun around.  Now Moody had two angry men on his case.  “You tell me you want speak Missy Cartwright about things you sell!”

“That’s right.  I work for Burke’s Mercantile.”  Moody hung on his buggy and wiped the blood from his lip, which curled into a sneer.  “Told you a good salesman could get a job anywhere.”

“Not for long!”

“Think about that.  You really want me telling Burke why you want me fired.”

“You stinking rat!”

Hop Sing’s palms rammed my chest.  “NO!  He bad man, but you get into much trouble.”

I didn’t care.  I wanted him gone.  Pa and Candy rode in as I grabbed Hop Sing to thrust him aside.  The look on Pa’s face when he saw Moody was everything I could’ve hoped.  But when he looked at me, the alarm that sprang into his eyes checked me in a way Hop Sing hadn’t. 

Pa was no fool, and he grasped the situation in seconds and did what he always did—took charge.   “Candy, escort Mr. Moody off the Ponderosa.”

“It’ll be a pleasure.”

The hand I wiped over my top lip shook.  Taking a moment to steady my breathing, I turned to Charlotte.  “Inside.”

I shut our bedroom door.  It was just the two of us, and I could ask my questions.

“You’re talking to him now?”

“Hop Sing said it was a salesman.  By the time I realized it was too late.”

“Too late to walk away?”

“No, but—”

“What?  You couldn’t pass up the chance to chat?”

“I thought … I thought I could make him understand.  Get him to leave me alone.”  Turning from me, Charlotte dropped into a chair and lowered her forehand onto her fingertips.  “I should’ve known it was a waste of time.”

“I reckon you should.”

Her head came up.  The hurt shining from her eyes twisted my cruelty back on me.  But I wouldn’t take it back.  When I looked at her, I was starting to see a stranger.  Was she even the same person I married?

***

Chapter Fourteen

I swallowed my coffee and set the cup down on its saucer.  It sounded like a thunderclap.  Next to me, Charlotte ate her breakfast without looking my way or speaking. 

Pa broke the silence.  “How’re the preparations going?”

Candy answered, “Right on schedule.”

The roundup would start tomorrow, and I wasn’t looking forward to it.

Pa nodded.  “Good.  Charlotte, do you have any plans for today?”

“I thought I’d drive into Virginia Ci—”

I cut her off.  “I told you.  I don’t want you going to town while he’s there.”

“But.”

“I said, no.  If you need supplies, make a list and give it to Hop Sing.”

Getting up, I headed for the credenza, only to halt when Charlotte called out, “There are things Hop Sing can’t get.”

“He can give the list to Mrs. Jenkins.”

Her napkin slapped down, and she sprang up.  “I can’t stay on the ranch forever.”

“While he’s here, you will.”

“I’m not a prisoner, Joe.  I’m your wife.”

“That’s right.  And you’ll do as I say.”

The door slammed behind me.  I mounted Cochise and hauled him around when Pa came limping out.  Dust was all I left.

***

Knocking the dirt off my trousers, I entered the side door to the kitchen.  I unwrapped the bandana and stuck my arm under the pump.  My concentration had gone to Hell, and a stupid mistake resulted in a cut forearm. 

From the big room, I could hear the murmur of voices.  Grabbing a clean towel off the side, I strolled toward the sound.  When I turned the corner into the main room, my fingers tightened around the cloth, grinding it into the wound.  I took no notice.  My vision narrowed to the pretty picture before me, freezing me on the spot.

Charlotte sat at the end of the sofa next to Pa.  The light from the big window behind me shimmered across her hair.  Their heads leaned in close, absorbed in their conversation.  Beside them, the sap from the wood in the grate snapped and spat.  I saw Charlotte’s long fingers entwined together.  I watched Pa’s hand move over the creased soft leather on his chair to reach for one of hers and take it between his.  One large hand patted it in a caring gesture.  Through it all, they exchanged their quiet words.

“It’s just … I don’t think he believes me.”

“Of course he does.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I believe you.”

“Oh, Ben.  You don’t know how good that is to hear.”

“Come now.  Things can’t be that bad?”

“He’s so different.  We don’t talk like we used to.  Sometimes it feels like he can’t bear to look at me.  I know it’s my fault—”

“Nonsense.  What’s past is past.  Joe should know that.”

“I’m scared.  What if he’s never able to believe me?  What do I do?”

“Don’t think like that.  He loves you.”

“I’m not sure that’s enough.”

“He may be stubborn, but he’s no fool.”

I’d heard enough and strode into the room.  Charlotte saw me first.

“Joe.  You’re back.  What happened to your arm?”  Jumping up, she came to me, her face a dutiful picture of concern.  “It looks bad.”

“It’s nothing.  Having a nice chat?”

There was no mistaking my tone.  Charlotte dropped back and flushed.  “We were just talking.”

“I heard.  Maybe I want our business to stay our business.”

Distress shone from the eyes fixed on mine.  At the back of them, I saw fear.  Part of me was glad.

“Joseph!  There’s no need to talk to Charlotte like that.”

“I can talk to her any way I please.  She’s my wife.”

“And I’m your father.”

My glare met Pa’s.  Neither of us was backing down.  I had to get out of there.

“I need to take care of this arm.”

“Let me.”

“I can do it.”

***

Charlotte lay curled on the far side of the bed.  I lay on the other.  A position we were becoming familiar with. 

Supper was a nightmare, and I excused myself as soon as I could afterward.  Charlotte watched me go with a look of sadness on her face that should’ve made me ashamed.  Pa sure thought I should be.

I paced our room, asking the same questions.  What the Hell was wrong with me?  I believed Charlotte, didn’t I?  Moody was the liar here.  Yet things drifted back.  Hadn’t she encouraged Eliza Wilson to leave her husband?  Did she even feel the same as I did about marriage?  If someone had told me when I looked into those eyes and proposed that I’d ever doubt her feelings, I’d have laughed in their face.  But those doubts held me in a stranglehold, so here we lay a million miles apart.  Only tonight, it was more than I could stand.  The brandy decanter beckoned.

The liquor went down easy.  I commandeered Pa’s chair, lay my head back on the soft overstuffed leather, and let the sweet burn creep down my throat, through my chest, and into my stomach. 

Pa’s chair was the only comfortable one in the room.  I knew why he kept the sofa, but I intended to fill my house with chairs like this one—my house.  Snorting, I took another gulp of brandy.  I hadn’t been near the place since Moody’s arrival.  What the Hell use was it anyway?  I sat forward, my hands between my knees, twisting the crystal they held.  Why did I even expect to be happy? 

“Joe?”

I looked up.  Pa came the rest of the way down the stairs.  The last thing I wanted was for him to see me wallowing in self-pity.  Even in the shadows, I could see the concern on his face. 

“Sorry.  Didn’t mean to wake anyone.”

“You didn’t.”  He took the position I usually occupied on the low table before me.  “Son.  I wasn’t interfering earlier.  Charlotte’s scared.”

“Why didn’t she talk to me?”

Pa rubbed his palms together while he considered how to continue.  I wasn’t making it easy for him.  “She knows you’re angry.”

“What does she expect?  She lied to me.”

“Did she?”

“C’mon, Pa.  You always taught us leaving something out was as good as lying.”

Pa smiled at the memories of when I’d hedged the truth with abstention.  “Well, childish stuff.  I’m not sure this is the same.  Does her not telling you change how you feel?”

“I love her.  I know I do.  But, right now, that’s all I know.” I gazed into my glass.  “How did you do it?  With Ma?”

“Simple.  Our life together began when we met, and nothing else mattered.”

“Did you ever ask?”

He knew what I meant and looked me straight in the eye when he told me, “No.”  I could hear the disappointment when he asked, “You did?” 

“She says, no.”

“But you don’t believe that?”

I took another gulp from my glass and changed the subject.  “If they’re not married, why would he be here?”

“He’s obsessed with her.”

“Would that be enough to bring him clear across the country?”

“If Charlotte says so.  Yes.”  Our eyes met.  It really was that simple for him.  Why couldn’t it be the same for me?  Pa’s hand closed over my knee.  That touch always reassured.  “You’ll get there.  Just give it time.”

I smiled.  Pa could always read me like a book.  “Thanks.”  I looked down at the brandy.  “A bad idea with roundup tomorrow.  I’d better get some sleep.”  Setting down the glass, we rose together.  When we reached the stairs, I said, “Pa.  While I’m away, keep Charlotte out of Virginia City and a watch on the roads.  I don’t want Moody anywhere near her.”

I caught the sigh under his breath, but he replied, “All right.”

***

Chapter Fifteen

Roundup was a bitch.  I hadn’t known spring weather like it.  Sudden snowfalls took us by surprise, which the beeves churned into a quagmire.  The sun baking the ground hard again meant dust clouds clogged our eyes and choked our lungs.  Our throats turned raw from the grit we swallowed, and the cold at night pushed the beeves further into the trees and scrub, making our task harder. 

I usually enjoyed this time, the camaraderie between the men, and building that working trust.  It wasn’t a family affair anymore.  Pa did his last roundup four years ago, and then came the biggest loss of all.  When I gazed across the meadow, memories flooded back.  That big hat recognizable from miles away, the belly laugh that lifted any bad mood.  I could hear that familiar voice, “You gonna sit there wool-gathering or get that little hiney in gear and do some work.”  I smiled.  This year, I missed that big moose more than ever.

***

Waving my rope at Candy, I bellowed, “Some steers in the gully.  I’ll get ‘em.”

With a curse, I worked the last stubborn brute out and headed back up to the herd.  My hand tightened on Cooch’s rein, jerking him to a halt.  It was him.  He stood out a mile with his city hat and jacket, even from this distance. 

Candy drew alongside.  His keen gaze followed mine to fix on the lone figure on the rise.  “Is that Moody?”

“Looks like.”

“What’s he doing out here?”

I could think of only one reason—checking to see if the coast was clear to visit Charlotte.  I fought the impulse to charge home.  The snow might’ve stopped, but we’d fallen behind.  We had a deadline.  The drover was booked, and branding still needed to be done.  Getting the cattle to market late would cut thousands of our profit margin.  Leaving wasn’t an option.  I could do nothing except rely on Pa.  The knot in my stomach wound tighter as I watched the figure turn his horse and drift away.  Of course, the person I should’ve been placing my faith in was Charlotte.  Why wasn’t I?  One more question gnawing at my brain.

***

I pushed hard and set a punishing pace.  Up before dawn and in the saddle until dusk, then night watch duty.  But I wasn’t asking anyone to do more than me.

Pulling Cochise to a skittering halt, I glared at the men squatting around the fire and coffee pot.

“What’s going on?  You’ve got work to do.”

Candy stepped out from a scrub of cottonwood where the horses were tied.  “They’re taking a break.  I said it was okay.”

Cooch danced under me.  “You know we’re behind, right?  We haven’t got time for breaks.  Get mounted!”

No one moved.  I caught the looks they gave Candy and the slight jerk of his head that galvanized them.  Undrunk coffee put out the fire, and they headed out.

“Joe.  A word.”  Sparing time for a chat was another delay, but ready to have this out; I swung out of the saddle.  Candy waited for me to walk to him before he began.  “Everyone’s been working flat out.  They’re tired.  If they don’t get a break, they’re gonna start making mistakes.”

“I pay them to work, not sit on their butts.  If they can’t hack it, they can collect their pay.”

“Someone’s gonna get hurt if you keep pushing them.”

“I’m the boss, and they do as I say.”

“You may be the boss, but I’m the foreman.  It’s my responsibility to get the job done and get every man back in one piece.  A few hours’ rest won’t make much difference, and they’ll work better after.”

“I say they keep working.”

This conversation was over.  I turned my back on Candy, heading back to Cooch.

“Why?  C’mon, Joe, this isn’t like you.  We all know what’s put this burr under your saddle, and it isn’t the roundup.”

I spun around.  “What?”

“You can’t work out your frustration about Moody on the men.”

Candy braced himself.  What the hell?  Did he think I was going to hit him?  Looking down, I unclenched my fist.  Had I meant to?  I looked around at the men huddled on their horses.  Each face grey despite being burnt brown by the sun.  Dark lines of fatigue marked them like rivers on the plains.  What was I doing?  My chest deflated.  I dropped to the ground, draping my arms over my knees.

Yanking off his hat, Candy wiped his brow before squatting next to me.  “He’s really gotten to you.”

“Charlotte says he’s lying, but that damned marriage license looks real enough.”

Candy’s hat turned between his fingers.  “There’s one way to know for sure.”

Our eyes met.  I shook my head.  “Shouldn’t her word be enough?  If I have Hiram check the license …?” My hand ran down my face.  “A man should trust his wife, right?”

“You’re only human.”

I was, and it would settle things once and for all.  But wouldn’t doing so prove my lack of faith in Charlotte?  My stomach chilled.  Could we recover from that?  I had to find a way to believe.  Trouble was, the how eluded me.  Taking off my hat, I ruffled my hair before clapping it back on. 

“C’mon.  We’ll break for the day and pick up again tomorrow.”

***

Chapter Sixteen

We rode in tired but triumphant.  I dismounted to find Pa’s hand ready and waiting to clasp mine.

“Good to have you back.”

Over his shoulder, Charlotte hovered in the background, hesitation and uncertainty in her eyes.  I gave Pa a pat on the shoulder and walked to my wife.

Three weeks on the range, I looked a mess and smelled worse, but the same admiration filled her eyes when she gazed at me.  I didn’t care who was watching.  My arms caught her up and crushed her against me.  “I missed you.”

It felt good to feel her return my embrace.

Bathed and changed, I flopped on the sofa and received a cup of coffee from Charlotte.

“Two thousand head of the best beeves we’ve ever sent heading for market.”

“You’ve done a good job.  I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks, but I couldn’t have done it alone.”  I turned from Pa to Candy and conveyed my thanks with a smile.

“They’ll be a nice bonus for everyone once the sale has gone through,” Pa added.

“The men will appreciate that, Ben.  They worked hard,” Candy told him.

“Don’t remind me,” I said.  “I’m gonna be working out the knots in my back for weeks.  How has everything been here?”

“Fine,” Pa replied. 

Pleased to hear Moody had given no trouble, I relaxed.  I didn’t mention seeing him.  What would be the point?  The evening passed without talk of that thorn in our sides.  Alone in our bed, I turned down the lamp and leaned across to kiss Charlotte goodnight.  The scent of warm skin and lavender filled my senses.  Her silken, yielding lips set mine tingling.  Deepening my kiss, I reached for her. 

She welcomed my attention, and I could feel her relief.  Doubts clung to me like cobwebs, and hesitation quivered through my body.  I wasn’t being fair.  But her need pulled at mine.  Giving in to the yearning, I dove into the glory of being with this woman.  It was like being with her for the first time.  Every touch repaired the closeness that had been broken, and when I looked into those eyes, glistening in the dark, my soul knew only the certainty of our love.

Sunlight played on my shoulder.  I drifted out of sleep, despite the comfy mattress lulling me back.  My arm draped over my wife, tucked close against me.  Her warmth mingled with mine.  My cheek caressed her hair, and I breathed in her presence.  I opened my eyes, and my breath hitched at the sight of her.  The same bliss I felt every morning waking up next to this woman assaulted me.  Goddammit!  Moody wouldn’t come between us.   

When she stirred and turned, I smiled.  “Morning.”

Her smile lit my insides.  She sighed and placed a palm on my cheek.  “I’m so glad you’re back.”

I took her hand and kissed her fingertips.  “I am.  Really.”

Drawing her close, we lay there, content to hold and be held until I could no longer resist the smell of bacon.

“C’mon.  Let’s eat.”

Determined to show his pleasure in having us back and that he was the best cook on the Ponderosa, we sat down to a feast.  I grinned over the table at Candy, whose fork hovered with indecision over the multitude of dishes.

“Good to be home.”  I winked across.

Charlotte poured me a cup of coffee.  “It’s good to have you back.”

Our eyes met, and I reached for her hand to give it a squeeze.  I looked around into Pa’s face.  It acknowledged his happiness.  Behind him, Hop Sing, carrying another plate of pancakes, had the same look.  I rolled my eyes at my two mother hens.

Candy rose to answer the knock at the door.  Expecting some problem that needed my attention, I shoveled in a mouthful of eggs while I had the chance.  The door closed after a short, murmured conversation, and Candy returned to the table.  My fork paused at the look on his face.

“It’s a delivery.  Someone paid to have this brought all the way out for Charlotte.”

Candy held forward a small brown package.  The fingers that took it quivered.  Cold suspicion crawled up my spine.  “What is it?”

Charlotte laid the parcel down and looked at Pa, who explained, “Henry’s been sending gifts.  Silly stuff.  Ribbons, sugar drops.  We returned them, and there hadn’t been anything for a few days.  We thought they’d stopped.”

I didn’t look at Pa.  My gaze riveted on Charlotte.  “You didn’t tell me?”

“I was going to.”

“When?  Today, tomorrow, next week?” 

“Joseph.”

“Stay out of this.”  I didn’t want interference.  This was between my wife and me.  I pointed to the parcel.  “You gonna open that?”

“No.  I’ll return it.”

“I’ve a better idea.”  Snatching the gift, I strode to the fireplace, hurled it into the crate, and reached for a match.  I watched until the fire had caught and then left the house. 

Pa found me in the barn saddling Cochise.

“It was my fault.”

“Pa— ”

“I decided since the gifts had stopped, there was no need to say anything right away.  Give you your first night back without thinking about Moody. So if you’re angry at anyone, it should be me.”

“I’d like to take those gifts and ram them down his throat.”

Cochise side-stepped in protest at the tightness of the cinch.  I took a breath and loosened it a couple of notches.  Pa leaned against the stall post next to me.

“Ever since you were a boy, I’ve worried about that temper.”

“I’m not a kid anymore.”

“No.  No.  You’re not.  You’ve been a grown man for a lot of years.  But it’s still there.”

I cut Pa a look.  “Guess you and everyone are stuck with it.”

Pa crossed his arms and pulled a face.  “Well, I can’t imagine you any other way.” 

The tension broken, I smiled.  “Sorry.  But, I’m only human.”

“I know that, son.  Remember, she is, too.”  After a beat, he added, “I’ll finish here.  Go talk to her.”

I handed him the bridle.  “Thanks.”

***

Over the next few days, there was plenty to keep me occupied.  Now that Pa was back in the saddle, we rode the ranch together, overseeing the work and making new plans.  I was proud of the Ponderosa and the work I’d put in, but I was prouder to ride by my father’s side and hear his praise.  It was great to see him sitting straight like a young man, his eyes drinking in the ranch he’d built and its beauty.  He’d always taught us never to take the land for granted.  We never did. 

I put Moody out of my mind.  He wasn’t part of this life.  But we were still avoiding Virginia City, so I headed to Carson with Candy and Charlotte for the next supply run.

After helping Charlotte down, we went inside the mercantile.  I maneuvered around the throng to hand my list to Mr. Carter.

“Take me a while to gather,” he told me.

“No hurry.”

I leaned an elbow against the polished counter.  The smell of leather, oats, and camphene oil mixed with the scent of people.  Perfume, tobacco, lye soap, sweat, all life came through here.  On the other side of the store, Charlotte had joined Mrs. Carter and a group of women discussing some latest do-dad from the East.

My glance back through the door timed with the mill outside clearing.  A lone figure on the opposite boardwalk stared at the store.  I straightened.  People blocked the view again.  My heart pounded as I pushed back to the door.  Moving a large man to one side, I stepped out and looked across the street.  He’d gone.

My gaze raked the street.  Wagons and horses passed, the jangle of their harnesses filling the air.  On the boardwalk opposite, two women carrying babies chatted.  Others scurried along, loaded with baskets or packages.  A couple strolled by, the lady’s arm linked with his.  Around them, men ambled, strode, or stood looking in store windows.  None were Moody.  Had I imagined it?  Was I seeing the man even when he wasn’t there?

“Something wrong?”  I glanced over my shoulder at Candy.  I felt like a fool.  Seeing things and jumping at shadows.  “No.”  We went back inside.

Patting the last bag of flour, I caught the end of the rope Candy tossed across to me before asking Charlotte, “How about we eat before we leave?”

“That would be lovely.  Where?”

Cinching down the rope, I replied, “Annabel’s is always—”  Looking up, I broke off.  Leaning against a post, Moody gazed back at me.  Then.  He tipped his hat.  The rough edge of the rope sawed my fingers when I gave it a final, vicious tug.  I moved to go around the buckboard.  Charlotte’s hands closed around my wrist.

“Let’s go, Joe.”

My chest tightened when my breathing quickened.  “I told him to stay away.”

“Please, don’t do anything.”

Candy stood in front, blocking my path.  “He’s trying to provoke you.”

My top lip drew back.  “He’s succeeded.”

He caught my arm when I stepped forward.  “Think!  A brawl?  Here in the street?  Is that what you want?”

It was!  Charlotte’s fingers anchored deeper, but I could feel the trembling running through her.  I wrenched my gaze from Moody to my wife’s pale one.  She looked sick.  Which one of us was she concerned for?  I pushed the ugly thought away.  

“Let’s go.”

Charlotte gasped in relief.  I helped her into the buckboard.  Taking no chances on me, Candy stayed by my side until I climbed into the seat.  I didn’t wait for him to mount but shook up the horses and got the wagon going.  But I couldn’t stop glancing over my shoulder.  Moody broke into a smile.  It took everything I had to stay in the seat and keep going.

The gifts began again. 

“Why does he keep sending them?” 

Charlotte lifted her head from her hand.  Shadows were visible under her eyes, betraying her lack of sleep.  Neither of us found peace or rest in our bed.

“I told you.  I don’t know.”

Each time I asked the question, I got the same answer.  It didn’t satisfy me.  None of the answers Charlotte gave me quenched the suspicion that burned my gut.  I buried myself in work.

***

Chapter Seventeen

Cooch tossed his head in protest when I reined him in.  Pulled over on the road below us was a buggy. 

“Son of a—”

I gathered my reins to turn when Candy said, “Hold on.  He’s not on Ponderosa land.”

“So what?”

“So, he’s got every right to be there.”  My right hand tightened the glove over my left as it flexed within it.  Catching the move, Candy warned, “Joe, leave it.”

I ground my teeth.  Moody wasn’t on our land, which left me powerless to move him.  But what I’d like to have done twisted my insides.  Another thought tightened them further.  I turned Cochise for home. 

All the way there, I told myself I was wrong.  Charlotte would be sitting by the fireplace, mending a shirt or something.  Dismounting, I crossed the distance to the door in a rush.

Seeing me, Pa called, “Ah, good.  Do you remember where we put the lease for—”

“Where’s Charlotte?”

“Out for a ride.”

“A ride?  Where?”

Concern dropped across my father’s features.  “What’s wrong?”

“I saw Moody on the Virginia City road.  Pulled over like he was waiting for something or someone.”

“You can’t think she’s meeting him?”

Pa’s tone drew me up short.  “No.  Of course not.”  I watched his face, checking if he believed the lie before adding, “What did you need?”

The document I was reading dropped back onto the desk the moment Charlotte arrived back.  The look of surprise, or was it shock, on her face when she saw me didn’t pass me by.  Neither did the flush that covered her cheeks when I said, “You’ve been gone a long time.”

“Yes.  I went further than I realized.”

“See anyone?”

The flush deepened.  “No.  Gracious!  Look at the time.  I’d better tidy up.”

What was going on?  I thought the lying had ended, but it looked like I was wrong.  When I got up to follow, Pa’s hand found my arm.

“It mightn’t be what you think.”

“You think it’s a coincidence?”

“Just don’t jump to conclusions.”

“Right.”

Charlotte stopped braiding her hair, and she turned when I walked in.  The smile she gave me wavered at the grim expression I saw reflected in her mirror.

“Where’d you go?”

“For a ride.”

“I want the truth.  Did you meet Moody?”

Unable to meet my eyes, her gaze dropped to her lap, where her fingers played with the hairpin she picked up.  “All right.  I didn’t just go for a ride.  I rode to Virginia City to talk to him.  Try to get him to leave.  But when I got there, I realized it would be a waste of time.  I turned around and came home.”

“You didn’t see him?”

“No.”

Did I believe her?  The story was plausible, but was it a little too convenient? 

“I saw him on the road.  You didn’t run into him when you returned?”

“I cut across country.”  My lips tightened.  “Joe.  I swear. Please….”

“Finish what you’re doing.”

I closed the door and leaned into it.  Sobs bled through the wood, pulling at me, begging me to return.  I lowered my head and squeezed my eyes shut against the turmoil.  One thing I knew for sure.  Moody had to go.

Seeing me strapping on my gun belt pulled Pa out of his chair.  “Where’re you going?”

“I’ve something to do.”

“Lunch is ready.”

“I’m not hungry.”

Grabbing a spare horse, I saddled up. 

***

Chapter Eighteen

I’d say this much for Moody.  He was no coward.  When he opened his door, he smiled, let me in, and offered me a drink.  When I refused, he poured one for himself.  His hand was rock steady. 

Going to a chair, he sat and crossed one leg over the other.  “What can I do for you?”

“Why are you still hanging around?  We both know that license is fake—”

“You really believe that, don’t you?  What story did she tell you?  That I chased her all over St. Louis?  Hounded and forced her to run away?”

My fingers tightened around my gun belt.  “I want you gone.  How much will it take?”

“I told you.  I don’t want money.  I want my wife.  And she wants me.  Why else would she meet with me today?”

“You’re a damn liar.”

“Am I?  Charlotte knows I’m willing to change.  It’s only a matter of time until she returns to me.”

My hand moved to my gun.  “One way or another, Moody, you’re leaving.”

“I know you, Cartwright.  You’re a decent man.  You’d never resort to that.”  Moody set down his glass and rose.  “I feel sorry for you.  You’re the real loser in this.”

I loathed every part of him, from his perfectly brushed hair to his polished boots.  But the hell of it was, I wasn’t sure that I didn’t believe him.

His words rang in my ears as I left.  “You tell her.  I’ll wait as long as it takes.”

***

All the way home, the same thoughts churned around my mind.  Charlotte hadn’t trusted me with the truth.  What else had she kept from me?  Meeting Moody?  Was she considering going back to him?  I thought I knew everything about her.  But did the woman I fell in love with even exist?

Lamplight glowing from the windows gave the house a warmth I wasn’t feeling.  The smell of fried chicken drifted on the breeze.  I should’ve been starving, but food was the last thing on my mind.  After handing the horse off to a hand to bed down, I went in.  The big room was empty except for Pa. 

“Where’s Charlotte?”

“Upstairs.”  Pa waited until I came to the fire before asking, “What happened?”

Laying one hand on the mantel, I kicked the hearth.  “He says Charlotte will go back to him.”

“He’s deluded!  You called his bluff.”  Pa’s expression changed.  I’d given myself away.  “Joe.” 

In Pa’s hands, my name could reflect many feelings.  Pride, joy, anger, and bitter disappointment.  Like now.

“I’ll go wash up.”

There was no need to look.  Pa’s gaze burned into me with every step up the stairs.

I kept my head down and made for the washstand when I entered our room.  The brush Charlotte held halted in its movement through her hair.  Large eyes reflected in the mirror watched me.

“Is he gone?”

“Tell me the truth.  Did you meet with him today?”

“I’ve already told you the truth.”

“He knew you went to Virginia City.  How could he know that?”

“I don’t know.  Maybe he saw me.  Maybe someone told him.  But I didn’t see him.”

If we felt distant before, the gulf opened wider.  “Forget it,” was all I could say.

Turning away, I stripped off to wash.  With studied care, Charlotte laid her brush down and rearranged the items on the dresser.  My skin prickled as the cold water hit it.  I scrubbed harder than necessary.  Behind me, she stood and smoothed the creases from her dress.

“I’ll go down now.”

I didn’t look up from drying my face. “Fine,” I mumbled through the scratchy cotton.

The door closed without a sound.  My towel hit the wood and dropped to the floor.  I clenched the washstand.  The muscles in my arms and chest stood out rigid under the grip.  What the hell was I gonna do? 

Things didn’t improve at the supper table.  Pa’s disappointment left him with nothing to say to me, but he talked to Charlotte like a good Cartwright protecting the lady.

I sawed through my beef while Pa asked her about the needlepoint she was working on.  Mouthfuls of potatoes crammed into my mouth during their discussion on the jam she hoped to make.  When Candy asked what other preserves she was planning, I tossed down my napkin and stood.

“Excuse me.”

***

My thoughts darkened along with the sky.  I let them, neglecting to turn up the lamp or close the curtains.  There was no romance to the moonlight that slanted across the room and my face.  According to Moody, I was a fool who’d married a woman who had lied to my face and was still lying.  How could I have fallen in love with someone like that?  How could I love her still?

When the door opened, Charlotte halted, allowing her eyes time to adjust.  She strode to the lamp.  My eyes creased at the sudden blaze of light.  The curtain rings rattled under the sharp movements when she drew them shut.  Then she turned to face me.

“What happened today?  What did he say to you?”

“Nothing.”

“Tell me the truth.”

“Why should I?”

I watched my cruelty take effect, but Charlotte rallied.  “I’ve never lied to you.  I didn’t tell you about Henry, and I’m sorry.  How long are you going to punish me?”

“I’m not punishing you.”

“Aren’t you?”  I winced.  “You can’t keep treating me like this.  Talk to me.”

I wasn’t ready to talk.  “I need a drink.”

She didn’t try to stop me.  I sat alone downstairs.  No one joined me.  My father had picked his side, and it wasn’t mine.

What was it that dug into my guts and wouldn’t let go?  Hoss always said I was a stubborn cuss.  ‘You give everyone a chance, but Lord help them if they lose that trust.’

Could it be that?  Had my trust been lost beyond all retrieving?  I wish I knew the answer. 

***

Chapter Nineteen

I dressed in silence again.  The air held a chill that had nothing to do with the morning.  When I pulled on my boots, Charlotte cleared her throat.

“I need to speak to you.”

“Can’t it wait?  I need to see the men before breakfast.”

She bit her lip.  Her head ducked, and I strained to catch her quiet words.  “Yes, of course.”

Guilt made me soften my voice when I added, “Later, all right?”

I didn’t wait for a reply and made my way outside.  The business of the ranch kept me engrossed and my mind off how everything was going to pieces between us.  Work was the one sure thing in my life.  I gave it everything and kept at it, avoiding the talk I’d promised.  But I had to quit sometime.

My God, she looked lovely.  Sitting in the chair, already dressed for dinner, Charlotte wore her hair down the way I liked.  The shining waves showed off her white shoulders, and the blue dress highlighted the color of her eyes. 

“Can we talk now?”

“Sure.”

“I love you, Joe.  With all my heart and always will.  But I can’t live like this.  If you can’t forgive me, I think it best I leave.”

“You’re going back to him!”

“No!”  Her hands slapped the arms of the chair.  “Oh, Joe.  Don’t you understand?  This has nothing to do with Henry.”

“Hasn’t it?  Why else would you leave?”

“Because I can’t bear watching your love turn to hate.”

“So, you’re running away?  Is that what you do?  Get men to love you, then leave them?”

Her eyes blazed with fury, and she sprang upright.  “No!  I love you, Joe.  You!  But if you can’t trust me, how can I stay?”

“Because we’re married.  For better or worse.  Remember?” 

“And I’m the worst.  Is that it?” 

Shame slapped me in the face.  I dropped my gaze. 

Charlotte moved to the other side of the room.  Pacing in a circle, her hands kneaded together.  “I can’t believe this is happening.  How could I have been so stupid?  I can’t.  I won’t go through this again.”

Her distress deepened my guilt.  “I didn’t mean— ”

“Stay away!  You’re no different than him.”  Tears coursed down her face.  Sweat stood out on her brow.  She pressed a hand to her chest and doubled over.  “Oh, God,” she gasped.

Alarm filled me as her skin whitened.  “Charlotte!”

I caught her as she folded.

***

Chapter Twenty

I didn’t need to see Pa’s face.  The stiff line of his shoulders and back told me how he felt.  The doctor was still with Charlotte upstairs, and I couldn’t do anything but wait. 

When she collapsed in my arms, the same sense of dread that punched me in the stomach that terrible day I saw Alice and my home ablaze returned.  My hand still shook when I reached for the coffee cup.  I took a gulp, trying to dispel the dryness that cleaved my tongue to the roof of my mouth.  The door above opened and closed.  Out of my chair, I waited at the bottom of the stairs.

Doc Martin gave me a bracing smile.  “She’s fine.  Strong and healthy.”

“What happened?”

“She suffered a hysteria attack.”  He fixed me with a look.  “Can I ask?  Has she been under stress lately?”

Was he joking?  The weeks of Moody badgering us, watching us, and sending gifts would be enough to give anyone hysterics.  Then I saw Pa’s face.  It wasn’t Moody he blamed.  He was looking at me.

A bullet to the spine couldn’t have knocked me off my feet any quicker than the truth that struck.  Charlotte had given me everything—her heart, body, soul, and much more.  I’d received a new life.  Because of her, I had a future, a reason to breathe and get up each morning.  How could I have repaid her with doubts?  I should’ve shielded and protected her.  Given her every reason to feel safe and secure.  Instead, I’d treated her like a liar and a fraud. 

“Are you all right?” Paul asked when I dropped into the chair.

“What?  Yeah.  Will she be okay?”

“I think so.  For cases such as these, I recommend some time away.  A change of scene.  That usually does the trick.”

I managed to thank him, but it was Pa who offered him coffee and saw him out.  All I could do was sit there.  The pain of realization coursing through me was worse than any physical wound.  I couldn’t meet Pa’s eyes, but the stubbornness in me didn’t want to hear his reproaches either.  “You don’t have to say it.”

My words lit a match under my father.  He let rip.  “Good.  It’s about time you realized what you’ve put her through.  Did you once consider her feelings?  She came here to escape that man and find a new life.  She believed she found it with you.  When he turned up to hound her again, did you even think what that was doing to her?” 

Pa snapped his mouth shut.  He’d said more than he meant to.  Interference wasn’t his way, but I’d pushed him too far.  But then, I saw past the anger to the sadness that hung on him.  He’d lost so many loves in his life.  To stand by and watch me throwing one away through sheer stupidity was more than he could bear.  I deserved every word.

I dropped my head into my hands.   “What can I do?  How can I fix this?”

Pa sat down beside me and slipped his arm around my shoulders.  The same way he’d done so many times when I needed his help.  He’d never denied me, never turned me away, and wasn’t about to start now.  “Go to her.  Tell her.  Pray, she’ll forgive you.”

The long walks from the barn to the house carrying a note from the teacher were a breeze compared to this one.  Contempt ground itself into my being, and fear shortened my breathing.  How could I have risked all that Charlotte had given me?  Was I too late to put things right?  

Lying on the bed, my wife gazed out the window at the endless blue sky.  She didn’t look my way when I crossed the room. 

“Paul says you’re gonna be all right.”

“I’m sorry to cause a fuss.”

“You’re not the one who should be apologizing.” 

I sat down beside the woman I loved.  At least I didn’t see loathing in her eyes, but the sadness that fractured them was every bit as bad.  My fingers touched her cuff, fingering the frilly lace edge before they slid down over her wrist and thumb to settle into her palm.  Lifting her hand, I slipped my other underneath, cradling it within mine.  Raising her hand to my lips, I kissed the stiff fingers.  The uncertainty in her expression raked my soul.  How close was I to losing her forever?  I wouldn’t let that happen.  

“I’m so sorry.  I’ve been an idiot.  The way I behaved….  I won’t ask for forgiveness.  I don’t deserve it.”  Leaning forward, I caught her gaze and held it.  “I love you, and I promise.  I’ll spend the rest of my life making things right.”

“Oh, Joe.”  Her voice broke on my name. 

She flung her arms around me.  Her chest heaved against mine as she sobbed into my shoulder.  I held her tight and begged, “Don’t … please, don’t.  I can’t bear that I’ve made you cry.”

Charlotte hiccupped and pushed away.  Fumbling for her handkerchief, she blew her nose.  I took her face between my hands and brushed away the tears with my thumbs.  My stomach wheeled like soaring eagles when I saw the love in those beautiful eyes.  I didn’t deserve to be this lucky.

“The doc said a change of scene would do you good.  How about we take that trip to San Francisco?”

“Could we?”

“We’re all caught up with ranch business.  I can be spared for two weeks.”

When she hugged me again, I held her tighter still.  We stayed together, holding each other.  I’d come too close to destroying the best thing I’d ever had and wouldn’t risk our marriage again.  Moody was owed another visit. 

This time he didn’t offer me a drink. 

“Do whatever you want.  Take that license to a judge.  If it isn’t the forgery I know it to be, she’ll divorce you.  But Charlotte and I are staying together, and nothing you do will change that.”

His mouth contorted into an ugly line when my words sank in.  Our eyes locked.  Man to man, we stared each other down.  This time, he was ready for a fight.  He stepped forward.  I rolled my shoulders back and met him halfway.

“Walk away,” I told him.

“Not from Charlotte.”

“Take my advice and leave.  There’s no way this’ll end well for you if you don’t.”

I walked out, leaving him tight-lipped and breathing hard.  The next move was his, and his future was in his hands.

***

Chapter Twenty-One

Moody looked settled in, stretched out in one of the rocking chairs on the porch of The International.  I kept my eyes straight ahead.  He wouldn’t get the satisfaction of knowing I’d seen him.  But frustration kept my jaw locked tight.  He hadn’t seen the judge.  He hadn’t left.  What the hell was this man’s game? 

When the gifts started again, I intercepted them.  If Moody wanted to waste his money, let him.  But they wouldn’t reach his intended target.

Caught up on business, we might be, but there were still decisions to be agreed on before we left.  However, I took the time for a picnic with Charlotte. 

Leaning on my elbow, I watched my wife as she gazed over the lake.  It still scared me to know I’d almost lost her, and I was sensitive to any changes in mood.

“I love you,” I told her when I took her hand.  She smiled.  When it faded, I sat up.  “What is it?”

“I’ve heard that Henry is still in Virginia City.”

“Where’d you hear that?”

“One of the hand’s wives.”  I should’ve known.  The Ponderosa might be big, but the community of ranch hands was small.  Things were bound to get out.  Anxious eyes fixed on mine.  “You don’t mind me talking about him?”

“You can talk to me about anything.” 

“Why’s he still here?”

“I don’t know.  He’s got nothing to gain, and he knows that.  He’ll get the message once we go on our trip and move on.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

“He will.”  I squeezed her hand.  “Trust me.  I’m gonna take care of you.  I’ve let you down—”

“Stop.  I don’t want your apologies.  All I want is to know you love me.”

I looked deep into her eyes.  “Never, even for a second, did I stop.”

***

Walking through the door, I heard Pa call from his desk, “You’re home.  Good.  I’ve remembered something.”

I threw Charlotte a wry smile and a wink.  She took the empty picnic basket and disappeared into the kitchen while I moseyed to the desk and propped myself on the edge.  When she came back through and headed upstairs to remove her bonnet, Pa and I were deep in discussion. 

Charlotte’s scream took me up the stairs at full pelt.  My hand tightened around the door frame when I followed her gaze to the bed.  On the pillow lay a stem of yarrow.  Its tiny white flowers already wilting. 

“It’s him.  He was here.”

Wrapping her in my arms, I tightened them to still her quivering. 

“How did he get in?” Pa demanded from behind me.

“I don’t know.  But it won’t happen again.”

“Will you see Roy?”

“Because he left a flower?”

Pa snatched the bloom off the bed.  “I get rid of this and speak to the men.”

“Thanks,”  I told him.  He nodded and closed the door.

Charlotte’s hands wound into my shirt.  “Why won’t he stop?”

“It’ll be all right.  I promise.” 

My gaze met my image mirrored back to me.  The hands that stroked Charlotte’s hair were soft like my words, but my eyes shone hard as granite.  Moody had made his move.  Now I’d make mine.

***

Chapter Twenty

My campaign to spoil Charlotte began the minute we stepped on board the Lightning Express from Virginia City to San Francisco.  A first-class carriage on the train, followed by a suite at our favorite hotel with French champagne and flowers waiting.  I made sure to give Charlotte the full princess treatment.  It wasn’t anything she didn’t deserve.  She’d forgiven me.  I wanted her to know I knew how lucky I was.

The road below the window of our fourth-story room was awash with carriages, despite being twice the width of Virginia City’s main street.  Simple buggies to fancy barouches and landaus moved back and forth.  Some stopped to allow their passengers to pass the time of day.  Weaving between the throng, cabs raced to get fares to their destinations, and at the side of the street were the carriages decked with glass cases or shelves from which purveyors sold their wares.  None of that interested me.  Across the street, a man leaned against the post on the sidewalk opposite.  Derby hat tipped in that familiar cocky angle.  He eyeballed the entrance of the hotel, and I watched him.

My hand came up to rest on the window jam.  On the other side of the glass, a spider scurried out of its corner to entomb a snared fly.  Leaning into the pane, I lowered my head.  I’d hoped his obsession wouldn’t bring him to San Francisco.  I’d hoped our leaving would make him give up.  I’d hoped the plans I’d made wouldn’t be necessary.  Screw hope.  Moody wasn’t going to stop.  I had to do the stopping.

“What do you think?”

Hearing the question, I turned.  My gaze ran over the gathered folds of the soft pink gown, around to the raised bustle at her rear.  The effect accentuated Charlotte’s trim waist in a way that I couldn’t complain about.  I smiled.  “Beautiful.” 

She blushed, and my smile broadened.  

Our first call when we arrived four days ago was to a dressmaker to order all those new gowns I promised.  I wasn’t proud that I used her time there to do what I needed.  But her excitement when those dozen boxes arrived salved my conscience.  Taking her hand, I drank in the full effect. 

“What?” she asked.

“I remember the first time I took you to dinner.  You wore that dress with those little buttons right up to your chin.  All I could think about was how much I’d like to undo them.”

“And there was me thinking I’d married a gentleman.”

“With you looking like that?” 

Her breathing quickened at the expression in my eyes. “We could skip dinner and go out for supper?”

“Again?”

Charlotte’s free hand reached for my white shirt.  Long fingers played with my string tie.  She bit her bottom lip, and her eyes gleamed up at me through long lashes.  “If you want.”

I kicked the door to the bedroom wider with my foot since my hands were occupied.  The dress dissolved to the floor, followed by my jacket and tie.  We missed supper too.

Charlotte lay curled against me with her cheek on my chest.  My hand caressed her hair in long, gentle strokes.  She would never know what I’d done or planned to do.  It was better that way. 

I put matters into operation the next day.  Telling Charlotte I needed to spend the evening with a business friend of Pa’s at his club, I prepared to leave. 

“You’ll be all right here?”

Charlotte looked up from her position, curled into an oversized overstuffed chair.  In her lap was one of the many new books she bought.  I’d joked that I’d have to buy a crate to get them home.  “Of course.  I can occupy myself for one evening without my husband.”

I grinned.  “Good to know.”

Standing in the hotel doorway where the light shone brightest, I waited while the doorman hailed me a cab and shouted the directions as loud as I dared. 

The cab driver took my money but had the heart to warn me about the neighborhood.  I thanked him and waited until he’d driven off before walking away.  Under a streetlamp, I took a moment to button my jacket before plunging into the murky lanes of San Francisco’s notorious Barbary Coast.

I knew where I was going.  Only a few days ago, I trod these same grimy streets.

Talking Pa around had taken some doing.  In the end, he’d contacted a friend he could trust.  One name jumped out of the list he sent us.  We had history.

Pushing back the heavy oak door to the ‘Quick Buck Saloon,’ I stepped inside.  The lady I wanted stood behind the bar holding a group of sailors entranced with some tale.  She’d come up in the world.  Still attractive, she dressed to let everyone know she owned the place.  It was impressive.  The shiny walnut bar I leaned on dominated one end.  Tables filled the rest of the room, where men were engrossed in their drinking or cards.  A staircase led to a balcony that stretched the entire back of the premises.  Women of various color and sizes draped the railing.  It seems drinks weren’t the only thing they served here.

I ordered a beer and waited.  When she finished her story, I strolled over.

“Hi, Kathleen.”

Her keen blue eyes scanned my face and narrowed.  “I know that face.  I’m thinking, Cartwheel … no, Cartwright.  My, you’ve grown.”

“Joe Cartwright.  You have a good memory.  It’s been a long time.”

“I never forget the men who kiss me.”  My smile widened.  “Sides, I was grateful to your father for not turning me over to the coppers.  Ben Cartwright.  Ah, I said he were class.  How is the sweet man?”

“The sweet man you sold?  Just fine.”

Leaning her elbow on the bar, she propped her chin on her hand.  “What brings you to my crib, Joe?  It’s a dangerous part of town for carriage trade to be playing in.”

“I’ve come prepared.”  Pulling back my jacket, I let her see my Colt.  She raised her eyebrows.  “I have business.  Can we talk?”

Surprise registered in her eyes, but she led me to the door to her comfortable office.  Dropping my hat on the desk, I lowered myself into the seat she offered.  When she heard what I wanted, she tilted her head and weighed me up anew.

“Can you help?”

“Sure.”

“How much?”

Kathleen came around the desk to sit on the edge next to me.  “For you.  Three hundred.  Plus, another kiss.”

I looked into those eyes that twinkled at me in a predatory, expectant way.  “Sorry.  I’m a happily married man.”

I began counting out the notes.  Kathleen sighed.  “Well, in that case, call it four.”  A hundred dollars or a kiss?  My hands hesitated.  I thought better of it and put down the extra.  Picking up the bundle, she folded it and tucked it down her inviting cleavage.  “It’s good doing business with you.  Get him here.  I’ll handle the rest.”

‘Get him here.’  Yeah.  Let’s hope so.  Stopping to drop a couple of dollars into the tin mug of an old sailor panhandling on a street corner, I ached to turn around and check.  But I knew Moody wouldn’t be able to resist following.  Haunting me had become as much his strategy as hounding Charlotte.  The back of my neck prickled when I pushed open the door to Kathleen’s place for a second time.  This had to work.

Two days later, the hotel prepared a picnic.  I hired a buggy and drove out of the city to the surrounding headlands that overlooked the bay and the ships that came and went.  I held Charlotte in my arms and gazed at the billowing white sails.  Among them was the Nightingale.  The one hundred and seventy-seven-foot clipper ship heading for Europe.  Kathleen had assured me, “He won’t be setting foot on these shores again for two years.”

The least I could do was see Moody off.  I didn’t feel good about my choice, but I didn’t regret it either. 

***

Chapter Twenty-One

I rolled up my shirt sleeves on my way down the stairs.  Pa and Candy had been waiting when the train drew in and greeted us with the expected enthusiasm.  Amid their welcome and transferring our luggage, Charlotte sat in the buggy, twisting her fingers and glancing around.  I wanted to tell her it was over, but that would have to wait.

Leaving her to rest, I joined Pa in the living room.  Coffee was waiting, and I helped myself to a cup.

“Everything went well?”

“Yeah.  Everything.”  Pa pursed his lips.  Our last discussion on the issue hadn’t been easy, but my mind wasn’t for changing.  “I know you disagreed.”

“No.  That he followed you to San Francisco proved you were right.”

“He’ll have plenty of time to get over Charlotte.  With luck, he’ll start a new life in Europe.  Remember, he can get a job anywhere.”

“And if he comes back with a score to settle?”

“I’ll deal with that if it happens.”

Candy walked in from the kitchen carrying a plate.

I grinned.  “Hop Sing?”

“He thinks you can’t last till dinner.”

I laughed, but my mouth watered at the sight of the slices of beef dripping down the side of the sandwich. 

Pa rose and went to his desk to return with an envelope.  “This is for you.”

“What is it?” I mumbled through my mouthful.

“It’s the reply from the clerk in the district where Moody’s license was supposedly issued.”

“How?”

“To be prepared, Hiram went ahead and contacted them.”

When I stood, the movement at the top of the stairs caught my eye, the brief flash of skirts before it disappeared.  The envelope Pa held contained the knowledge of whether Moody and Charlotte were married.  I knew what I had to do.

Pa’s hand reached for mine when I struck a match.  “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

I dropped the burning envelope into the grate, letting the flames engulf it.  When I looked up, Pa was smiling, but he wasn’t looking at me.  Charlotte stood on the half-landing.  Tears ran down her cheeks, but her smile was the largest ever.  She knew I’d never doubt her again. 

When she rushed down the stairs, I stepped forward to meet her.  I kissed her in a way that said I didn’t care who was watching.  When we broke apart, I turned to find the room empty.  Pa and Candy must’ve hightailed it to the kitchen.  Not one to waste an opportunity, I kissed Charlotte again.

A little breathless, she nestled her head under my chin.  I ran my fingers down her cheek, tilted her head, and looked into that darling face.  “I love you, Mrs. Cartwright.” 

***

Epilogue

I handed the documents Pa had given me to Hiram.  A damn good lawyer, the one thing I could rely on was his efficiency and thoroughness.

“Thanks for helping with that Moody thing, by the way.”

“Not at all.  I thought you’d want me to send out a copy of the clerk’s reply right away, so you’d have it when you got back.”

“And the original?”

“Tucked away safe and sound. I hear that fella has left town, but should he ever return, we’ll be ready to prove that license of his isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.”

Stepping onto the boardwalk, I looked across the street to the mercantile.  Through the large windows, I saw Charlotte looking at curtain material for our new home.  Smiling, I strode across towards my beautiful wife and our life together with confidence. 

After all, Candy was right.  I was only human.

*** The End ***
July 2023

If you’ve enjoyed my story, please consider scrolling down to the comments and letting me know.

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Author’s notes:

A big thank you to my Beta, Pat.  Who provided a second pair of eyes and an honest opinion. 

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Episodes referenced:

San Francisco – written by Thomas Thompson

Forever – written by Michael Landon