Hidden Star

By Bakerj

Joe finished bedding down the horses and gave the barn one final check.  As usual, his gaze lingered a few seconds longer over the empty stall where Chubb had previously stood.

Turning up his collar, he raced towards the house.  Joe didn’t stop to admire the stars glittering in the clear night sky, the air being too bitterly cold for stargazing. Besides, it was Christmas Eve, and he was needed to help decorate the Christmas tree.

The tree had almost been forgotten.  Bringing one home was a tradition for the Cartwright brothers, ever since they were old enough to go into the forest without Pa and bring it back alone.  But this Christmas, the first since they’d lost Hoss, Alice, and his unborn child, somehow, it hadn’t been mentioned.

The night before, Joe had caught Jamie looking wistfully at the spot where the tree traditionally stood, and the realization of what had gone unspoken hit him. Guiltily aware that respect for his feelings was probably the reason for the oversight, he cleared his throat.  “Y’know it’s Christmas Eve tomorrow.”

“Yes?” Pa prompted when he didn’t say anything more.

“Well, don’t you think it’s time we went and got the tree?”

“You mean it?” Jamie asked.  A grin spreading over his face.

“Sure.  We’ll go tomorrow morning.”  Joe looked at his father, “You wanna come?”

“Oh no.”  Flinging up his hands, Pa chuckled, “My days of chopping down Christmas trees are long gone.  Besides, you boys have always done it by yourselves.”

So now, a fine tree stood in the living area, waiting to be decorated.

Joe had left Pa, Jamie, and Candy to bring down the decorations while he took care of the barn chores.  By this time, they’d have them all ready and waiting for him.  Shrugging off his coat, he became aware of the commotion in the room.  Pa, Jamie, and Candy seemed to be turning out every box of decorations spread around the room.

“Check that box again, Jamie.  It must be here somewhere.”

Joe heard the hint of desperation in his father’s voice and caught the look from Jamie, which clearly said, Help!

“What’s up?” he asked.

“We can’t find the star,” Jamie explained.

Joe’s face fell.  The star.

Memories of last Christmas came flooding back. The Angel that had adorned the top of the tree for over thirty years had finally broken. Bought by his mother her first Christmas on the Ponderosa, everyone had been upset at losing such a treasured piece.  Hoss had saved the day by carving a Christmas Star and presenting it to Pa. 

It was a beautiful piece of carving, and Hoss was rightly pleased with it.

“It’s the best thing I ever whittled,” he’d told them.  “But something kept telling me I needed to make it special.”

Joe remembered how Pa had run his hands over the wood feeling its fine shape, lines, and curves, so impressed and proud of his son for carving such a fitting replacement for the angel.  It had been a handsome addition to their tree.  It can’t be gone too!

“I’ll go check in the attic. Don’t worry, Pa, I’m sure it’s just fallen out of the box.”

After turning up the lamp, Joe checked the area where the boxes of Christmas decorations had stood. Finding nothing, a sense of panic began to take hold.  Dropping to his hands and knees, he started a closer search of the floor.

His chest tightened when failure met his efforts.  He grabbed boxes and tossed them aside while sweeping his hand over the split, rough, wooden boards.  He began to move in a frantic circle when his foot pushed and nudged a large chest.  Glancing back over his shoulder, he stopped and let out a sigh of relief.  The movement revealed one of the points of the star from under the trunk.

“There you are,” he muttered with satisfaction.

Still, on his hands and knees, he shuffled over to the box.  To his annoyance, when he reached for the star, rather than catching hold, he only pushed it further under the chest.

Kneeling up, Joe realized what was inside this box.  Chinese lanterns and ribbons. The last time they’d used them had been on his wedding day. He didn’t care if he never saw those lanterns again.  Putting his hands to the heavy chest, he gave it a firm shove.  With a shudder, it moved over the wood, revealing the star and…

Joe dropped back on his heels.  Touching the star was a small leather-bound book.  The book of verse Alice had since a child. He’d last seen it on his wedding day.  She’d carried it all that day, and he remembered how upset she had been when she couldn’t find it afterward.

His hand shook when he picked it up and turned it in his hands to caress the bumps and cracks in the soft brown leather with his thumb.

The terrible fire had consumed everything, leaving him with nothing of hers.  Nothing to hold, nothing to cherish, and now, here was this most treasured possession. 

Joe’s gaze fell again to the Christmas star.  Hoss’s star had led him to Alice’s book.  His fingers tightened around both precious objects, and he clutched them to his chest, head bent as tears began to brim in his eyes.

“Thank you, Hoss,” he murmured.  “Thank you for my gift.”

Around him, the dust motes dancing in the gleam of the oil lamp stilled and froze like snowflakes in a painted winter scene.  Perhaps it was merely a shift in the air and the whisper of the wind in the rafters, but in that moment, he felt that familiar hand on his shoulder and the soft voice in his ear, “Merry Christmas, Punkin.”

Releasing the breath he held, the moment was gone, but his heart swelled with warmth.

Getting up, Joe tucked the book into his pocket and headed down to his family.  When he reached the top of the stairs, he called out with joy, “It’s all right, Pa, I found it.  I found the star!”

***The End***

December 2018