The Farm #4

~THE HORSE OPERATION~

by jfclover

“Ride ‘em, Joe!” Hoss whooped. “Stick with ‘em, Boy!”

Joe’s newest prize twisted and turned and bucked and ducked, but he handled the ride with such ease that we all stood in wonder. No other wrangler had the same sense of balance and control as my youngest son. Although I held my breath during every ride, calling him a natural became a word we’d all use.  

By himself, he’d hauled three spirited mares home from the wild herd he’d spotted only days ago. He’d yet to hire new wranglers although I sensed as the operation grew, he’d have to find men qualified for the job. A one-man operation would never reach its full potential.

Joseph had never been a loner. He’d always enjoyed the company of friends and family, but this was a different Joe, a quieter, more Adam-like Joe. Hard work had been a solace for him. As soon as his leg and arm had healed from bullet wounds he encountered trying to prevent a stage holdup, his new life became all business.  

With Andy in Placerville and Joe on the Ponderosa, my son had set a new course for his future. Andy chose to move forward and according to the letters he sent, he found what he’d been looking for. He had steady employment and Marianne—the young lady who’d helped them find their way—had become his fiancée.  

After Hoss and Adam loaded the next horse into the pen, Joe climbed on the mare’s back and steadied himself for another tough ride. Hoss pulled the gate open, and my heart went to my throat. Joe was a good rider, no question, but I still had the right to worry.

I gripped the top rail with white knuckles and listened to my elder sons whoop and holler as Joe gripped the reins with his left and let his right arm strive for balance. Joe’s thoughts were so concentrated on finishing the ride in one piece, could he even be aware of the rallying excitement that surrounded him?

Three difficult rides were enough for one day, and I breathed a sigh of relief when the work ended, and we could head back to the house for lunch. The mares would be ridden repeatedly over the next couple of weeks though future rides wouldn’t be as harrowing as the first. Before they were ready to sell, they’d be gentled enough that an Eastern belle could ride and never have an inkling that her mount had been wild and free only weeks before.  

Adam had nearly stopped me from giving Joe the horse operation. “He’s too young. He’s too inexperienced.” Those had been his concerns every time he weighed in on the subject. We all saw a side of Joe that wasn’t expected. Even Adam was curious about the “new” Joe, the kid who was no longer a kid at all. The kid with a certain boyish charm and a willful side had been lost to us forever.  We needed to get it back.

Lunch should have been a time to relax and enjoy Hop Sing’s fine meal, but it took Joe longer than most to settle down, to calm the adrenalin running inside him. That was his nature, and that part of him hadn’t changed. He was all business, though. The horse operation was small but growing. He’d sold five or six mounts already, and he’d become obsessed over selling his horses to the army. That’s where real money could be made.

“What do you think, Pa? Think the army would be interested?”

“It’s possible, Son. Anything’s possible.”

“Who do I contact? How do I get my name out there?”

I set my fork down and contemplated my ambitious son. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“You bet I am.”

“Aren’t you getting ahead of yourself? The army will need more horses than you can provide.”

“Not if I hire a couple of wranglers.”

“You’re talking about a full-fledged business, Son. Are you sure you’re ready for an operation that big?”

“Isn’t that how you got started? Two head of cattle then two more until you had a herd worth taking to market?”

“Yes, but …”

“But what? This isn’t just a hobby. I want to be somebody, Pa. I don’t want to be labeled as Ben Cartwright’s youngest son and nothing more for the rest of my life. I want to make a name for myself.”

Joe’s statement caught me off guard, and I struggled for the right thing to say. The Ponderosa had flourished over the years because we all worked together for a common goal. Maybe Joe didn’t realize and maybe he did, but he was trying to break from the fold and run his own company rather than all of us working as one. I found myself at a loss for words. My elder sons were speechless too. I had to say something. I wanted to encourage the boy but somehow, this didn’t seem right.

“Are you sure this is how you want things to go?”

“I don’t understand.”

“Let me put it this way. We’ve always worked together as a family. Cattle drives, timber, mining. That’s what makes the Ponderosa prosper. A horse operation would do the same, but it sounds to me like you want to run things on your own without consulting the family.”

“I wasn’t itching for a fight, Pa. I was hoping for your approval.”

“I’m not saying no, Joseph.”

“Then what are you saying? I’m not good enough, right? I’m not smart enough to run a business on my own.”

“Did you hear anything I said?”

“Just forget it.”

Joe dropped his napkin on his plate, and he ran out the front door before I could register why the sudden anger. I glared at Adam and then Hoss. “Well?”

“Beats me, Pa. That boy’s all tangled up in knots. He wants to be all growed up and he’s still just a kid.”

“I wonder if it has something to do with Andy.”

“What do you mean, Adam?”

“Andy’s worked his way up the ladder and has become an important person in the hotel business. Joe still lives at home with Papa and has to play by the rules. It makes sense that he’d want to build himself up in front of his best friend.”

Adam’s theory made sense, but that’s not how we operated, and Joe needed to understand that if we all worked together …

“Joe was only fourteen when he was taken,” Adam continued. “He was a schoolboy and had no interest in ranch business. There was food on the table and a clean, soft bed to sleep in. That’s all that mattered. He partook in the good life. He didn’t think about how it all got here.”   

“Adam’s right, Pa. He’s kinda learning as he goes. He don’t know all the ins and outs. Maybe he wants to show off like Adam said. Maybe that’s important to him.”

“What do you boys think? Do we let him contact the army? Do we let him profit aside from the ranch?”

Adam spoke first. “I say yes. Let him venture out on his own and make his own mistakes. You know it won’t be smooth sailing. Let him learn from those mistakes.”

“Hoss?”

“I’m with Adam, Pa. Let him learn the hard way.”  

I grimaced at Hoss. “He might prove worthy, you know. There might not be any mistakes.”

Hoss shook his head. “Pretty optimistic, Pa.”

I stood from my chair. “Even if you two don’t, I have faith in Joseph. I’ll let him know we’re all in agreement.”

*

Chapter 2

Major Morrison of the 123rd had been contacted, and he sent an eager reply. 

“`

Mr. Cartwright.

I’ll swing by Virginia City next month to discuss your offer.

Major Gerald Morrison. U.S. Army.

“`

Joe couldn’t contain himself after reading the wire sent directly to him. Though I’d made the mistake of opening the missive when a boy rode out to the ranch, I slipped the wire back inside the envelope and handed it over to Joseph when he and Hoss returned from the north pasture.

“Can you believe it, Pa? He’s coming here to meet me.”

Just seeing my youngest so happy made me smile along with him. “You’re on your way, Son.”

“I need to hire wranglers this afternoon.”

I stood from behind my desk. “May I make a suggestion?”

“Sure, Pa.”

“Why don’t you hold off until after your meeting? The major may not need fresh mounts at this time.”

“Oh, yeah. You might be right. Okay, I’ll wait. But it’s a start, right? He might need twenty-five or even fifty new mounts. Just think, Pa. Just think.” Joe clapped Hoss’ belly. “Maybe I should put you to work.”

“That pains my ears something fierce, Little Brother. No way I’m climbing up on one of them crazy Mustangs. That’s your job, not mine.”

““`

Joseph dressed for the occasion. A clean, pressed shirt and black string tie gave the appearance of someone older than just seventeen. His hair had grown out enough that he’d had the barber cut most of the white out. A few blonde tips carried a remembrance of the past, but I could sense Joe felt better when those faded white curls ended up on the barber’s floor.

“Wish me luck, Pa.”

To be that young and eager. “I wish you all the luck in the world, Son. You’ll do fine.”

“You think?”

“Of course. You’re a Cartwright, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. Guess I am at that.”

“Go on, now. Don’t be late.”

The second wire from Major Morrison asked that Joseph meet him at two o’clock sharp at the International House. Our new hotel had just been completed a month earlier and longtime residents of the mining town began voicing their complaints about Virginia City’s rapid growth. 

Like it or not, we were becoming a prominent Western city. New restaurants and saloons opened their doors. Merchants from the eastern seaboard ventured west to strike it rich off the new arrivals. They stocked everything from picks and shovels to dungarees and candlesticks, hardtack and jerky to simple medical supplies. The town was booming.

Though I volunteered to go with him, Joseph rode in alone. “I can handle the major,” he said. His confidence belied his age, and I wished him well.

I stayed at the ranch and delved into the mound of paperwork on my desk. Joseph would be fine. Joseph was capable. I struggled to convince myself I wasn’t needed, and I had to accept that all three of my sons were grown men and could handle projects without my constant input or approval.  

I’d taught Hoss and Adam well, but what about Joseph? I’d missed three years of his life, and he’d missed three years of everything his brothers and I had to offer. Joe’s training into adulthood had come from a manual written for recruits, a set of rules and regulations that resulted in diverse consequences and harsh punishments. There’d been no love or understanding, no one but Johansson to guide his captives in the ways of the world.

How different would our relationship be if I’d guided my son through that tenuous time in his life? For three years, Joe tried to buck the system and in time, he learned to think for himself and care for himself, and the horse operation proved a perfect example. Being told what to do was no longer an option. He’d fought that battle once, and he was determined to set his own path. He didn’t need his family to guide him, and he didn’t need me. Those days were lost and gone forever.  

When I heard hoofbeats in the yard, I pushed my paperwork aside and rushed out the front door. I wanted to hear every detail though I had to use caution and not push too hard. Joe wasn’t the boy he’d once been. No longer did he bounce off the walls with a story to tell. He valued his privacy, and I had to do the same.

“How’d it go, Son?”

Joe had started for the barn and hadn’t heard me walk up. “Oh, hi, Pa. It went fine.”

I questioned Joe’s lack of enthusiasm. Maybe the boy didn’t bounce off walls anymore, but maybe things didn’t go as fine as he’d planned. I tried a different approach. “Was the captain interested?”

Joe pulled Cochise inside the stall and reached for the cinch before giving a one-word answer. “Yeah.”

“Well? How many does he want?”

He flung his saddle and blanket over the half-wall. “Five.”

“Only five?”

“To start.”

“Oh. And then what?”

 “He didn’t say.”

Had Joseph’s age been a deterrent for the captain? Had he been hesitant to buy stock from a kid who looked even younger than his actual age? 

Joe’s slight build and boyish looks may have had something to do with his reluctance to order more mounts at this time.

Joe turned my way but didn’t look me straight in the eye. “I don’t think he trusts me.”

“Why do you think that, Son?”

Joe shrugged his shoulders. “Just a feeling I have.”

“It’s one thing to have good insight, Joe, but don’t dismiss the captain altogether. You’re new to the horse trade. You haven’t built up a name for yourself, and the captain is only using caution.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“How ‘bout a cup of coffee?”

“Sounds good.”

Joe and Hoss delivered five gentled mounts the next day. Major Morrison had stationed his regiment five miles north of Virginia City, and the way Hoss told the story to Adam and me, Joe should’ve been grinning ear-to-ear.

“He had two of his young soldiers check the new stock. They ran their hands from top to bottom before they saddled each one and rode out to an old cottonwood and back. You should’ve heard them boys praise Joe for bringing out decent mounts rather than the nags they was used to getting. I’d never seen young men so excited.

“Then the captain gave his two cents.” Hoss looked down at Joe. “You wanna tell them or should I?”

Adam and I glanced at Joe.

“Go ahead, Brother. You seem to remember more’n I do.”

“So the captain comes up to Joe and claps his shoulder like they’d been best friends for years and ordered twenty-five more. Twenty-five, Pa! Said he’d spread the word about Joe Cartwright Enterprises.”

“What’s that you said?”

“Joe Cartwright Enterprises, Pa. That’s the name of Joe’s operation.”

“When did this come about?”

Hoss looked back at Joe. “Joseph?”

“Um, well, when Major Morrison asked, I had to come up with a name quick-like, and that’s the first thing that came to mind. Is something wrong, Pa?”

I hesitated but thought otherwise. “No. The name’s just fine.”

Though I didn’t look at Adam, I felt him staring in my direction. Never before had we separated Cartwright businesses. Adam saw over our mining ventures, and Hoss supervised most of the logging, but they were Cartwright enterprises. Nothing had been singled out as Adam’s business or Hoss’s business, but Joe didn’t understand the concept of working together as a family. Hoss didn’t seem to mind, but Adam wouldn’t dismiss the anomaly anytime soon.

Joe had yet to hire wranglers to help with the job, and he asked if Hoss could ride out to the wild herd and help him bring back a new string. I agreed to let Hoss go, but I had more to say.

“I won’t have you breaking twenty-five horses alone, Son. I want you to hire two men when you return.”

“Two? That cuts a bit deep into my profits, Pa.”

“Deep or not, I won’t have you killing yourself over a “bit” of extra profit. If you’re in this for the long haul, I expect you to use your head. If something should happen to you, where does that leave Joe Cartwright Enterprises? Nowhere.”

“But, Pa.”

“This isn’t up for discussion, Joseph.”

“Pa’s right, Little Joe. You ain’t no good to no one with another busted leg.”

“Fine. I’ll hire two men when we get back.”

We all stood from the dining room table. “How ‘bout a game of checkers, Little Brother. I ain’t gonna let you cheat me this time neither.”

“I’m kinda tired, Hoss. Think I’ll go up to bed. Night everyone.”

Three sets of eyes watched Joe leave the room. Not a trace of excitement that should’ve been evident, after his trip to see the captain, showed as he traipsed up the stairs to bed. Had I overstepped again? Too bad if I had. Joseph was still my son, and I had every right to protect him the best I could.  

Without Andy, he had no one to voice his complaints to except family. If going to his room to pout was the answer then so be it. Something was stuck in his craw, and I had no way of knowing what that something was. He would’ve shared his feelings with his friend, though this time, I didn’t think he’d take off again over a simple disagreement. The boy had too much at stake.

*

Chapter 3

When the boys and I came down for breakfast the following morning, Hop Sing informed us that Joe hadn’t eaten, which upset our cook to no end, and that he’d hightailed it to Virginia City just after sunrise.

“You suppose he went looking for wranglers?”

“I have to assume that’s his intent, Adam.”

“See. He’s doing exactly what you wanted, Pa.” Hoss clapped my back and nudged me toward the table. “Let’s eat.”

Praying Hoss was right, Joe still worried me. I couldn’t read him, and it frustrated me to no end. As much as I tried to give him full rein and let him run his business as he saw fit, I was on edge, constantly wondering if I’d done right by my youngest son or my older boys. Adam especially. He fought to keep his thoughts to himself and that had become a concern. We were family. We’d always been open and upfront with each other. Things were different now.  

When Joseph returned, I felt that sense of relief that comes over every father when he’s in doubt. The boys were right. He’d gone to Virginia City. He hadn’t run away, and I gave him time to stable his horse before I moseyed outside to greet him.

“How’d it go, Son?”

“I hired two men. They’ll grab their gear and ride out this afternoon.”

“Good. That’s real good, Joe.”

“Yeah, we’ll see.”

Joe might have been the best horse breaker in the territory; his fearless nature gave that extra boost of confidence every time he lowered himself onto the saddle of an untamed bronc. “Think they can hold their own?”

“We’ll start this afternoon with the new string Hoss and I brought back. I’ll know by suppertime if they’re worth their weight.”

“Fingers crossed.”

He half-smiled, and I took immense pleasure every time Joe unburdened himself from the past and was able to relax. A partial smile was an accomplishment, a hint that he could move forward and become whole again.

It was anyone’s guess whether Joe enjoyed the three of us cheering him on when he mounted a wild one, but after we lined up along the corral fence and hooped and hollered like wild banshees, he kept focused on the ride.

We also watched the newcomers, who took the job seriously even though it was only temporary employment. Busting broncs was a young man’s game, and the two boys he hired fit the part. Young like Joe, each boy rode with wild abandon until the horse stilled. The first day was marked by only one or two spills and no major injuries. Bruised bodies and bruised egos told the tale. Joe included.

After three full days, the young men were entitled to a much-needed rest. No bronc-busting on day four. Joseph had other plans, and he and his wranglers rode out. “Be back in time for supper,” he said.

Chasing a herd of mustangs through rolling hills and open pastures was nearly as grueling as readying new mounts for the army, but Joe set his sights on the prize. A payday for all, and wasting time wasn’t part of the deal.

By day’s end, each boy led three new horses into the breaking corral. Mission accomplished according to Joe. I watched for a tinge of excitement, but Joe was all business. Even with his brothers’ coaxing during supper, he had little to say.

“You busting them new ones tomorrow?”

“Yep.”

“Tomorrow’s Sunday, Joe. Ain’t you taking even one day off?”

“Yes, he is,” I said.

Joe’s fork clanged when it hit his plate. “But, Pa …”

“Sunday is a day of rest, Joseph. Not only for you, but your wranglers need time off too if you plan to keep them working at such a feverish pace.”

“I promised Major Morrison I’d have twenty-five horses ready by month’s end.”

“The 31st is eighteen days away, Son. That’s plenty of time.”

“If there ain’t no broken bones,” Hoss added.

“Pushing your men at breakneck speed isn’t the answer, Joe. A day of rest won’t set you behind schedule. I guarantee you’ll see many broken bones if the three of you are worn to a frazzle.”

“If you say so.”

“I say so.”

“Since we ain’t working tomorrow,” Hoss said, “how ‘bout we all ride into town? Don’t a cold beer sound good, Joseph?”

Joe looked up but his answer wasn’t immediate. I didn’t know what kind of bruising lay under his shirt and pants or if he could even sit a saddle after the day he’d had.

“Why not, Big Brother.”

“How ‘bout you, Adam?”

“I’m game.”

“After services, of course,” I said.

The boys rolled their eyes and pushed back from the table. I hadn’t been invited to join the party, and I didn’t mention the fact that a cold beer sounded good to me too. Instead, I moved to my overstuffed chair and lit my pipe, a sign of contentment for all to see. I opened the latest periodical and perched it on my lap.

After church, the boys strapped on their gun belts, which I insisted be looped over their saddle horns before entering a house of worship.

“Pa?” Joe called before they turned to walk away. “You didn’t want to come with us, did you?”

“No, not today, Son. You boys have fun.”

Joe had informed Jimmy and Markus there’d be no more work until early Monday morning, and they better not be hung over. They’d better be ready to ride. I’m sure the boys were thrilled, as they wasted no time getting to town on Saturday night.

My two older boys flanked Joseph as they crossed the dusty street to the nearest saloon. After a few beers and maybe a few hands of cards, Adam and Hoss would slip into protection mode before guiding their young brother home. I had no reason for concern.  

Barroom brawls are a common occurrence. A miss-said word or a spilled beer could easily rile a man looking for a fight. I had no reason to think my sons would come home bloody and bruised, but that’s exactly what happened. All three bore scrapes and Joe had the beginnings of a god-awful shiner when they stumbled through the front door.

At some point I’d fallen asleep, the open newspaper rested on my lap but fell to the floor when I blinked sleep from my eyes. As my boys entered the house, I pushed up from the chair, and that’s when I noticed the set of their jaws and the shadowing of bruises forming on three sets of cheekbones. I even narrowed my eyes for a better look. If they’d discussed who’d talk first, their plan wasn’t working. No one said a word.

“Hoss?”

“Ask him.” He pointed to Adam.

“Adam?”

“Ask him.” He nudged his young brother.

“Joseph?”

“It just happened, Pa. No big deal.”

My hands flew to my hips. “A face full of bruises is no big deal? Something happened.”

Hoss cleared his throat. “It was that Carl Michelson, Pa. And all his ranch hands.”

“What about him.”

“Tell him, Joe.”

“Major Morrison canceled his order with Michelson and gave it to me.”

“Oh, I see.”

“My horses are better.”

I tapped my lip with my index finger while I took it all in. Joe had become the target for a man humiliated by—in his eyes I’m sure—a kid who didn’t need the money or the prestige of selling extraordinary mounts to the army.  

Joe knew horses. He knew how to pick the best of the lot and tame them without breaking their spirit. It took someone who cared about each animal, and that was my son. He’d never hobble or whip to maintain control. Mostly, he used his voice and the horse’s sense of smell as a way of gentling the wildness out of them before he ever threw a saddle over their backs.

“You boys better clean up and get ready for supper.

Hoss slung his arm across Joe’s shoulders and they headed for the stairs. Adam hung back and waited until they hit the top landing before he spoke. “Joe did what he had to do.”

“I know, and I understand, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. Barroom brawls never settle the score. Tensions run high. I get that, but you know as well as I do that this isn’t the end. Carl is too prideful to let a youngster like Joe win all the marbles.”

“You’re probably right.”

“Keep your eyes open, Adam. 

Keep the boy safe.”

“I will. Hoss will too.”

*

Chapter 4

As we neared the end of the month, twenty-five new mounts were ready to be tested. Each horse was ridden one final time, and every horse met his or her mark. Joe asked his brothers if they’d help deliver the new mounts and, of course, they agreed. No one was safe from Michelson and his crew of rowdies, and we all wanted the handoff to go without a hitch.

Joe took off first. Each man led five horses from the corral and formed a line behind their leader. Bypassing Virginia City, they would follow a trail rarely used by anyone other than Cartwrights. The group would ride north over Ponderosa land and turn right at a narrow cutoff that would lead them straight into Morrison’s camp. Joe’s plan seemed flawless.

I waved goodbye, but I doubt anyone noticed the concern I felt deep in my gut. Though each man was armed, their main concern would be keeping the five mounts they hauled in pristine condition and not suffering an injury. I prayed for their safety and walked back inside the house. My boys would return before supper.

Clouds moved in early. What began as a beautiful summer day changed in an instant. A fierce gust of wind scared the squirrels from the trees and songbirds became silent when limbs bent wildly under Mother Nature’s wrath.

I opened the front door and watched the deluge of rain and then hail. Though not large, the fierce pounding usually caused damage. I glanced at Marie’s roses as delicate little petals gave way and swirled in puddles that covered the ground. I could barely see the barn although the stock was safe inside. Sally would protect her calf, but her milk would probably dry up for the next two days. I could hear Hop Sing now.

Looking northward, the steel-gray sky gave nothing away. I tried to track the storm’s path, but my endeavor was useless. My sons should have delivered their mounts by now and would be on their way home. Besides, Hoss could sense a change in the atmosphere before it was ever a thought for anyone else. How many times had he mentioned his bunions or some other anomaly that proved him right?

“Boys gone long time,” Hop Sing noted as if I hadn’t realized.

 “Keep supper warm. They should be home shortly.”

I felt anxious too, but I wouldn’t let on to our cook. He’d have me riding out after my sons, but they were capable men. They didn’t need Papa running to their rescue. Maybe a horse lost a shoe or came up lame. Everyday problems were expected. Thirty horses traveling a narrow path may have proved riskier than they first thought, and the storm had slowed them down, that’s all.  

By eight o’clock, Hop Sing quit fussing about supper and stood on the front porch beside me. With his hands clasped behind his back he, too, stared and listened for five weary riders to round the barn and enter the yard. I patted the little cook’s back and turned toward the front door. “The boys probably made camp, Hop Sing.”

“Have no food. Have no bedroll on saddle. Not make camp on wet ground.”

Perhaps he was right though nothing could be done tonight. I’d saddle my horse at first light and ride out.

*

Chapter 5

When I reached Major Morrison’s camp, his troops were pulling up stakes. The horses had been delivered and milled around in a rope-constructed corral. A young man approached and waved his hat, signaling me to stop and state my business.

“I’m here to see the captain. It’s important.”

“Name, Sir?”

“Cartwright.”

“Wait here.”

The soldier dashed off toward a large A-frame tent and spoke to another young man, who popped his head inside the structure and then walked alongside Morrison in my direction. I dismounted and led Buck to meet the man halfway. I’d never met the captain, but he would recognize my name.

“Mr. Cartwright?”

“Yes, Sir. I’m Joseph’s father.”

Fiftyish and ruggedly handsome, the captain smiled. “Quite a son you have there, Mr. Cartwright.”

“Thank you.”

“When I first met Joe, I hesitated to deal with someone his age. I’ll admit, I thought he was full of hot air and doubted his ability to deliver prime stock, but he appeared quite eager to prove me wrong. He convinced me to take a chance on him, and I’m glad I did. These are some of the best mounts these troops have ever seen.”

“My son worked hard, and his work paid off. There’s a lesson to be learned in that too.”

“I’d ask you to join me for coffee, but we’re about ready to pull out. Was there anything else on your mind?”

“Yes, there is. My sons didn’t return home last night. Can you tell me what time they started back?”

The captain bit his bottom lip as he thought back to the transaction. “Between two and three I believe. Mentioned something about getting home by suppertime.”

“That was the plan.”

“I’d be glad to send a couple of my men to help you scout the area.”

“That’s not necessary, Captain. They drove the horses up the back way, but they might have headed to Virginia City when the storm hit.”

“That was a helluva storm. Makes sense to me that five young cowboys might choose a dry saloon over riding in the rain.”

I chuckled at the captain’s candor. “You’re probably right.” I offered my hand. “I’ll be on my way.”

“It’s been a pleasure, Mr. Cartwright. I hope to do business with your son again.  I’ll pass the word around about Joe Cartwright Enterprises.”

Filled with pride over my son’s accomplishment, I rode toward Virginia City. My boys would think me a fool for traipsing all over heck and back looking for them. It was clear to me now that the boys spent the night in town and were probably sitting at home laughing at their old man. But, even old cowboys like the sound of a cold beer, and I hitched Buck in front of the saloon.

“Give me a cold one, Bruno.”

“Comin’ right up, Mr. Cartwright.” He slid the mug down in front of me. “Heard about your boys last night.”

“The boys? Were they here?”

“You don’t know?”

“Know what?”

“Word around town is that one of Michelson’s hired guns took a potshot at Little Joe sometime last night. Knowing them boys of yours, they’re probably still at Doc’s.”

My heart pounded as I raced out of the saloon and down two blocks to Doc Martin’s. No familiar horses had been left out front, but Hoss would have seen to their mounts shortly after they arrived. I tore through the front door to find no one sitting in the parlor or Paul’s corner office.  

“Hello? Anyone here?”

Adam opened the door where Paul performed surgeries and set broken bones. “Pa.”

“What happened?”

“Didn’t Hoss tell you?”

“Long story, Son, but no. I haven’t seen Hoss.”

Adam looked surprised by my statement. I explained. “I left early this morning and rode up to Morrison’s camp. What happened to Joe?”

Adam would’ve smiled, maybe even rolled his eyes if the situation weren’t so dire. “Joe’s been shot.”

“How bad?”

Paul stepped outside his surgery and pulled the door closed behind him. “Morning, Ben.” With pressed white sleeves rolled past his elbows, he looked exhausted. “It’s serious.”

Paul led me back into the room where he’d operated on my son before transferring him onto a bed near the far wall. Adam may not have been needed during the surgery, but I bet he was asked to help move Joe after the bullet had been removed. Joe lay face down.

“How bad is it, Paul?”

“He was hit in the back with buckshot.”

“A shotgun?” I focused on Adam. “Who?”

“I have my suspicions, but I can’t be sure.”

“Michelson?”

Adam wouldn’t commit, but he had a story to tell. “Storm clouds gathered just as we were leaving Morrison’s camp. Hoss suggested we ride hard and hold up in town rather than trying to make it home.”

“I figured as much.”

“You know that wooded area just north of old man Woodson’s place?” I nodded. “All hell broke loose just over that last hill. Although I think Joe was the intended party, he wasn’t the first one hit. 

Markus took the first shot.”

“And?”

“Not much more than a burn,” Paul said, and I sighed with relief. “He and the other young fella rode back to the ranch with Hoss.”

“Who else would want Joseph dead?” My question wasn’t answered for the simple reason that Michelson was the only person who carried a grudge. “May I see him now?”

“Just for a minute, Ben. He needs sleep more than anything else.”

Adam and Paul gave me the privacy needed. The narrow bed would’ve never held a man like Hoss, but Joe’s form left room for me to sit on the edge without unsettling him in the least. A white sheet covered the bandages surrounding his torso, and I was able to run my hand across his shoulder without disturbing the wound.

“I’m right here, Joseph.”

No movement or audible moan indicated he was in pain and it should’ve been a godsend, but all I could think was he’d done the job well, been paid for his efforts, and his final reward had been a load of buckshot. Life hadn’t been kind to my son. He’d suffered enough over the years and was just bouncing back with a skill that proved worthy. I prayed another setback wouldn’t damage his quest to be the best horse trader in the territory.

Paul and Adam entered the room. “I know you’d like to take him home, but I don’t want him moved for a couple of days.”

I nodded but I didn’t look up. Joe looked too fragile to go anywhere. I understood Paul’s thinking and agreed with the plan, but I’d stay with Joe. “Why don’t you head home, Adam.”

“Are you coming?”

“No.”

“Should I get you a room at the International?”

“No. I’m fine here.” I could sense the two of them trading glances, but I didn’t care. Joseph was my son, and I wasn’t leaving without him. “You go on now. I’ll be home when Joe’s ready to travel.”

I was still the boss, the head man, and Adam did as I asked without questioning me further. He’d check on Markus and run the ranch until I returned with Joe. I didn’t say they couldn’t visit, and I’d be surprised if they didn’t pop in to check on their brother. It was an unspoken understanding that family came before ranch business.

Joe woke later that night. He seemed to be fighting an unknown aggressor, and I tried to calm him before Paul’s stitches took the brunt of his furious efforts. “Easy, Son. Try to lie still.”

Paul stepped into the room and scooted me out of the way. With his stethoscope, he placed it in several places on Joe’s back and listened carefully to the erratic rhythm of my son’s breathing. He turned to the side table, mixed powder in a glass of water, and stirred. “Help me lift him, Ben.”

I eased in next to the doctor and rolled Joe to his side. I lifted his head and patted his cheek. “You need to drink, Son.”

We managed to get half a glass down him, and Paul appeared satisfied with the results. “He’ll sleep now, Ben.”

In his mind, he’d returned to the farm and was being disciplined for some type of infraction. During his fight to escape Johansson’s punishment, he fought against the restraints of the bedsheets and my attempt to keep him from harming himself any further.

For two long days, Joseph struggled with demons, and whatever else plagued his mind. Nightmares were frequent, and he’d thrash about until Paul administered another sleeping powder. By day three, his fever broke, and a conscious state surfaced enough that he realized where he was and what had happened to him.

He was confused at first, and he studied the unfamiliar walls and bedcoverings. He stared at Paul and me without recognition. I saw no other alternative, and I spoke in a gentle voice that finally brought him back to the present. I sighed with relief when his body relaxed, but tears filled his eyes.  

My boy was emotionally drained. He fought through terrors that must’ve flashed before his eyes while he slept. I held his hand with both of mine. His fever had subsided, and I prayed he was on the mend.

“Pa’s right here, Joseph.”

“Pa?”

“Take it easy now. You’ve got a lot of stitches in you.”

“Shot.”

“I know you were, and you have to lie still.” The simple conversation tired him out and soon he was back asleep.

“He’ll sleep peacefully now, Ben, and I want you out of here. Take a nice hot bath in that room Adam reserved and get a decent night’s rest.”

I stood from my chair by the bed. “I’ll do just that, but if Joe should wake—”

“I’ll be here. Now, go.”

When I woke, daylight streamed through the hotel window. I’d slept ten hours straight and woke with a stiff back and an ill temper. I never meant to leave Joseph for that long. Shaving and dressing only took minutes, and I rushed down the stairs to find Hoss and Adam sitting in the lobby. 

“I didn’t expect company.”

“We stopped by Doc’s first,” Adam said. “He told us you were here.”

Hoss stood and clapped my shoulder. “He also told us to feed you some breakfast.”

“I suppose I could eat something.”

“I suppose I could too.”

“Didn’t Hop Sing feed you this morning?”

“Dessert, Pa. Maybe some hot apple pie, right, Adam?”

“Right.” Adam had learned to play along when it came to Hoss’ appetite. We all had.

After finishing breakfast and dessert, we headed straight for Paul’s office where we found Joe sitting in the chair I’d occupied for the last three days. He wore a nightshirt Paul reserved for healing patients, and it hung off Joe’s shoulders like a bed sheet hanging in the wind to dry.  

“Good morning, Son.”

“Hi, Pa.”

His face looked pale, and he’d lost weight. Every pound he’d put on over the last few months slipped away in less than a week. I couldn’t help but notice his lack of enthusiasm over being up and out of bed.

“How soon can we take him home, Paul?”

“Is today soon enough?”

“Seriously?”

“I’d prefer he ride in a buggy. I don’t want him riding on his own.” Paul looked down at Joe who showed no emotion at all. I thought he’d be chomping at the bit to get home, but he’d surrendered his mind and body to a melancholy state.

“No bronc busting until I give you the okay, Joe,” Paul stated.

“Adam. Hoss. Why don’t you two round up a buggy while I help Joseph get dressed.”

Hoss patted the top of Joe’s head. “Sure be good to get home, won’t it, Little Joe?”

“Yeah.”

“Of course, it will, Son. Sleep in your own bed. Hop Sing’s good cooking. You’ll be back to your old self in no time.” I turned to Paul. “Thank you.” 

The look in Paul’s eyes reflected my own. He seemed worried too.

Hoss and his optimistic approach to life did nothing to bring Joe out of his sullen mood, and Paul tried to ease the tension with his unnecessary remark about broncs. Four days in a surgical room could have that effect on anyone and as soon as we got home, I hoped Joe’s frame of mind would change, and he’d be up and around in no time.

Chapter 6

“Joe’s wranglers want to know what to do,” Adam said. “Markus says his arm’s fine, and that he and Jimmy have been sitting around the bunkhouse for two weeks with nothing to do.”

“I’ll talk to Joe this morning.”

“He’s paying good money for those boys to sit and play cards and checkers all day. Maybe he hasn’t thought long term, but he better before his profits are eaten up by—”

“I know, Adam. I know all too well what will happen, but Joe doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about anything. He just sits.  He won’t talk. He won’t eat or come downstairs.”

“What do you plan to do?”

“What do you want me to do? It’s his operation, his alone. That’s what he wanted, remember? Joe Cartwright Enterprises has nothing to do with ranch business.”

“Let me talk to him.”

I stared at my eldest son. I’d tried everything short of dragging Joe down the stairs, sitting him at the dining room table, and forcing him to take his meals with the rest of us. I’d gone back and forth between coddling and using my sternest voice to provoke a reaction and every attempt fell flat.  

“Go! Talk to the boy. I certainly can’t get anywhere.”

Adam took the stairs two at a time and opened Joe’s bedroom door. “May I come in?”

I would’ve reprimanded my boys for eavesdropping, but it couldn’t be helped. If Adam got through to Joe, I had to know how he managed what I failed to do. I stood outside the bedroom door. Sitting next to the window, Joe didn’t bother to look up or answer his brother. The bandages had been removed and Paul Martin had given him the okay for light duty. Adam crossed the room and sat on the sill directly in Joe’s line of sight. “This is it? This is how you deal with setbacks?”

“Go away, Adam.” Joe didn’t look up; his voice soft and flat.

“That’s too easy, Joe. I’m not leaving until I understand what kind of man you really are.”

“Go away.”

“What would your buddy Andy say if he knew you were a quitter? That’s not the story he told Pa about your years on the farm. He said you bucked the system every chance you got, but that’s not the Joe I see sitting and staring out the window. I see only half a man.”

With narrowed eyes, Joe glared at his brother.  

“I don’t see a Cartwright either. Cartwright men are fighters, but you don’t get that, do you? You don’t know how we operate because you don’t care to be part of the family. Joe Cartwright doesn’t share in the family business. Joe Cartwright stands alone.”

“You’re wrong, Adam.”

“Am I? Think about it, Joe. Think long and hard.”

I heard Adam’s footsteps and slipped inside my bedroom just before he stormed out of Joe’s room. He mentioned things I didn’t dare say, but everything he said was true. And then he added one more little detail.

“Don’t you even want to know who shot you?”

Adam finished his rant with a question that plagued all our minds. While I sat with Joe during his recovery at Paul Martin’s, Adam and Hoss informed Sheriff Coffee about the shooting and whom they suspected had ambushed them, but there’d been no proof. No one had seen the man with the shotgun. Roy said there wasn’t much he could do without witnesses although he’d keep his eyes and ears open for talk around town.

Adam’s plan worked when mine did not. Within a half-hour, Joe had shaved and dressed and, although his gait wasn’t smooth due to the injury, he managed the stairs and came to stand in front of my desk. I looked up.

“I’m sorry, Pa.”

“Sorry?” I rose from my chair. “For what, Son?”

“Adam set me straight on a few things.”

“Did he.”

“Yeah, and I owe you and him and Hoss an apology.”

“No need, Joe.”

“You should’ve told me. You should’ve said I was wrong.”

I hitched my leg over the corner of the desk and faced my son. “We were both wrong, Joe. When I asked if you wanted to run the horse operation, I should’ve explained more to you than I did. I took too many things for granted. I left out too many details about how we all pull together as a family.”

“But I shouldn’t have to be told.”

“The past is the past. The question now is what do you plan to do? You have two men collecting wages for doing nothing, and I believe they’re anxious to get back to work.”

“Yeah. I messed up big time, Pa.”

“Then it’s up to you to set things straight.”

A half-smile broke through. “I will.” Joe headed for the front door and turned to face me. “Thanks.”

If Joe wondered how I knew what his brother had said, he didn’t let on. I doubt I fooled anyone that day, but Joe was on the right track and that’s all that mattered.

Jimmy and Markus rode out the same day. They took bedrolls and grub just in case. Joe wasn’t fit to ride yet, but he was able to get the operation back on solid ground. I gave Adam credit for spurring his young brother out of his doom and gloom and setting him straight. He fathered that boy as much as I had over the years and this time, he came up with the right words to say.

Within the month, Joe was back in the saddle though breaking broncs would have to wait another couple of weeks. Doctor’s orders. A wire came not much later. Major Morrison had mentioned Joe’s name to Colonel Jenkins who, in turn, spread the word about Joe Cartwright Enterprises, which Joe assured us was in name only, and the wealth would be shared with all.

I balked at the idea. The project was Joe’s. He and his wranglers worked the horses and readied them for sale, but Joseph said no. Things would be different now. Profits would be shared like every other venture the family delved into.

My young son was growing up. Although he was goal-oriented, he realized that family came first. Johansson had tried to erase any memories of the Ponderosa from Joe’s mind, but bits and pieces were trickling back, and Joseph was settling in nicely.

Having my son back was a gift. Having him realize he could count on us when needed, and that chipping into the welfare of the Ponderosa wasn’t so bad, Joe’s demeanor changed, and he was able to settle in and become part of a family he thought of as strangers for so long. We were more than food in his belly and a place to sleep. We were with him all the way.

The End

2020

The next story in this series: – The Farm #5

The Farm #3

~Taking Flight~

by jfclover

When horses rode up in the yard, I stood from my desk, slid the drape at my window, and witnessed three smiling faces. The boys were back, and Hoss stepped out of the barn to greet them. I, too, wondered how they fared and flew out the front door to hear firsthand.

While I crossed the yard, Hoss swung the corral gate open to let Joe and Andy each lead a new Mustang inside. After removing the ropes they’d used to capture the wild horses, they rode out of the corral and dismounted.

“Well,” I said as I slid my arm across my son’s shoulder. “You found the herd.”

“Sure did, Pa.”

“They look like fine animals.”

“The best.”

“How’d your leg hold up?”

“No worries, Pa. My leg’s just fine.”

The plaster had been removed from Joe’s left leg just over a week ago. Doc said to take it slow, but Joe’s enthusiasm over his new role on the Ponderosa seemed to take precedence over common sense. The broken leg was just a minor setback, and the boy was raring to go. As a father, I wanted to keep him home under a watchful eye, but things were different now. 

Joe was no longer a boy. He’d been through hell, and I wanted him to make his own decisions and have a future he could be proud of.

“Just look at them, Pa.  Me and Andy will have ‘em broke in no time.”

“Hey, slow down a minute.”

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“Riding’s one thing, Son, but breaking broncs is entirely different.” Andy and Hoss had taken seats on the top rail of the corral, but they were still within hearing range. I didn’t want to have that discussion in front of a crowd, but Joe persisted.

“My leg’s fine, Pa. I can do it.”

“I’m sure you want to, but you heard the doctor. Let’s not be in such an all-fired hurry to break that leg again.”

“But, Pa.”

“Don’t make me hogtie you, Son.”

Though I was only kidding, Andy flew off the rail and came to stand between Joe and me. “That won’t be necessary, Sir.”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” I said. “I’d never …” But the damage was done. Andy led Joe and their tired mounts toward the barn and away from me. I glanced up at Hoss who jumped down from his perch and stood beside me. “You don’t suppose.”

“I wouldn’t doubt it, Pa. 

Johansson done everything else to the boy. He probably done that too.”

My heart sank. How could I amend a comment that Joe would’ve laughed off years ago? The issue was trust, and whatever I gained over the past few weeks, I lost in a matter of seconds. Joe didn’t see me as Pa. He saw me as a large man who could hurt him. Though they might have started the same height and weight at fourteen, Andy had surpassed Joe by a few inches. My son had been starved to death for three years, and he remained shorter and slighter in stature than most boys his age, which might be the reason Andy tried to control the situation before it got out of hand. He’d become Joe’s confidant and protector, and I became the outsider.

“He’ll be all right, Pa.  Give him a minute to settle hisself and I’m sure he’ll—”

“No. You’re wrong, Son. Right now, I’m the boss man. I’m the enemy.”

“Oh, Pa. Don’t be ridiculous.”

I left Hoss standing alone and retreated to the house. My elder sons and I agreed that Joe needed a project of his own, something that would boost his ego and give him a sense of importance. As soon as the cast came off his leg, I asked if he’d take full control of the horse operation, and when a genuine smile lit his face, I knew we’d hit the mark. 

After the plaster was removed, Paul gave a word of caution about overdoing, but Joseph was eager to get started. Everything about Joe was giddy with excitement, and I could almost see the boy I once knew. Joseph was home and his appreciation was genuine.

Less than a week later, he and Andy rode out to look for the herd of wild mustangs Hoss had seen roaming near the south pasture. Bedrolls were tied behind saddles and their saddlebags were packed with enough grub for a couple of days. The boys were excited to be out on their own with an important job to fulfill.  

“You two be careful,” I said.  

“Don’t you worry about us, Pa. We’ll bring home the best.”

“I’m sure you will, Son, but no unnecessary chances. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir.”

Joe’s eyes sparkled, and an energy I hadn’t seen since his return enveloped him. The boys mounted and turned in their saddles to wave as they headed out of the yard. They hadn’t known this kind of freedom—at least Joe hadn’t—in his entire life. He was out on his own and allowed to do as he pleased.

To say I didn’t worry while they were away was an understatement. I’d only had Joe home a few weeks and having him out of sight would be difficult. My elder sons stood beside me as the young men rode out.

“You had to let him go,” said Adam.

“I know, Son.”

“Aw, they’ll do fine, Pa. 

Joe ain’t no greenhorn when it comes to ridin’ and ropin’. Neither’s Andy since the drive.”

I smiled up at Hoss. His words of comfort eased my mind at the time, but things were different now. The boys had returned—proud as peacocks—and I coined a phrase I should have known was unsuitable.  

It was too soon to have another talk with Joseph. He needed Andy more than he needed me and when I sat down behind my desk, I could do nothing but hold my head in my hands and ask God for guidance. I couldn’t do it alone. I needed Him to show me the way, to let my troubled son know he could trust me at any cost.

As I prayed for wisdom and understanding, I wasn’t aware that two young men were having a heartfelt discussion of their own. Plans were being made; plans that didn’t include the Ponderosa began to take form. 

How could I have known that my words had such an enormous effect? My son came home a fragile, emaciated young man I barely recognized. With his white/blonde hair and bones protruding from every angle, I should’ve been more aware. I should’ve been more sensitive to his condition, but no. That wasn’t the case. I tried to dismiss the past and develop a routine that Joseph would remember from the years before the farm, but I went too far. I overstepped.

When the five of us set down to supper, I apologized again for my thoughtless behavior, but I was too late. The damage had been done and when I woke the following morning, the boys were nowhere in sight. Hoss scoured the house while Adam raced out the front door to check the barn. Their beds were made, and clothes still hung in the wardrobes. When Adam returned and couldn’t make eye contact, I knew, but held my breath and waited to hear the answer outright.

“Their horses are gone.”

“Want me and Adam to saddle up?”

“No, Hoss. Dragging them back won’t solve the problem.”

“You just gonna let ‘em go?”

I tried to rise from my chair and give Hoss a decent argument, but I didn’t have the strength.  Hauling Joseph and Andy home wasn’t the answer. They had to want to return. They had to realize—especially Joseph—that the Ponderosa was his home, and this was where he wanted to be. If we brought them back now, he’d only find a reason to run again.

Chapter 2

Weeks passed, and life went on. A day didn’t pass that Hoss wasn’t adamant about riding out and every time he asked, my answer was no. My anger over the situation hadn’t come to a head, but I felt it would in time, and my elder sons would take the brunt of my frustration. If Joe didn’t ride back soon, he’d be lost to us forever and Hoss, maybe Adam, too, would never forgive me. They’d hold me responsible, and I couldn’t blame them.

Since Hoss had been so eager to jump on his horse and ride out, I felt that an errand might calm him down. 

Contracts needed to be signed, and I didn’t trust the mail to deliver on time. Though I usually sent Adam since he knew the importance of any timber contract, I trusted Hoss would feel the same. He could get the job done just as well and as a side note; he could keep his eyes peeled for the missing boys.

I handed the leather satchel to my middle boy. “Here you go, Son.”

“I’ll deliver.”

“I know you will.”

“Sacramento or bust.”

I held his strong hand in mine. “You take care now.”

“Will do, Pa. Maybe I’ll see something interestin’ along the way.”

Nothing more had to be said. 

I knew exactly what … who he referred to, and if he were lucky, he had a way of smoothing things over without anyone realizing they’d lost the argument and were in total agreement. If anyone could find Joseph and bring him home without a ruckus, it was Hoss.

After he rode out, I tried not to get my hopes up. This was a business trip, nothing more, but I couldn’t help but think of what might happen if things went well.  The sound of hooves pounding in the yard, and three men dismounting as I rushed out the front door. Joseph. I held my arms open as he ran toward me and tucked his cheek against my chest. The joy I felt overwhelmed me until I opened my eyes and reality hit. Foolish old man. Foolish to think the impossible.

Adam and I set out to do the work of three to four men. Hoss helped Adam with barn chores before he ate breakfast and saddled Chubby for the long ride ahead, but it was up to the two of us to keep the ranch running smoothly.

“What’s first, Adam?”

“You have your choice, Pa.  You can clear out the beaver dam in Cross Creek or you can shoe the chestnut. Which do you prefer?”

“That’s a heck of a choice, Son, but I’ll take the mare.”

“Good enough. I’ll saddle Sport.”

By week’s end, I was beat and ready for a day off. Adam was too, but the chores we managed were nothing more than a weekly battle to keep things running smoothly. Although I hoped, there’d been no message from Hoss. No sighting of Joe or Andy. Nothing I could hold on to that brought promise of the future I planned for all of my sons.

Hoss wasn’t due home for another few days, and the routine of chores continued through Thursday when Adam and I were interrupted by a young fella handing me an envelope. I scanned the telegram, thanked the boy, and handed him a dime.

“It’s from Hoss.”

“Something wrong?”

“I don’t know.” I read the wire twice but there wasn’t much of an explanation. “Says he’s staying over in Placerville for a couple of days.”

“That’s odd.”

“That’s all it says.” 

I handed the wire to Adam. “Not very chatty is he.”

Remembering some of the wires my eldest had sent, I glared at him until he understood. “None of you boys are good at explaining.”

Adam returned the wire and clapped my back. “Maybe he fell for that little redhead at The Lost Wages. Could be the saloon had more to offer than just a good steak.”

I rolled my eyes.  “I’m sure that’s it, Son. Let’s get back to work.”

Time moved slowly as I awaited Hoss’ return. Something didn’t sit right, and I couldn’t put my finger on the problem. Since there was no mention of the boys, I had to rule them out, but what else would keep him in Placerville? Adam gave a less than satisfying answer though I understood his intention. If one or more of my sons was away from the ranch, I worried. Any father would, and the smart remark was his way of easing my mind.

Monday afternoon, I finally had time to sit at my desk and deal with a mound of paperwork. Adam left early to pick up supplies and when Hoss and Adam rode in together, I leaped from my desk and hurried out the front door.

“Welcome home, Son.”

“Hey, Pa.”

Weary from the long ride, Hoss dismounted and started for the barn with Chubb in tow. Since curiosity had the best of me, I followed right behind. “Have a good trip?”

“It was long.”

“Anything interesting?”

He’d loosened the cinch and reached up to pull off the saddle, but his movement halted abruptly.  “Yeah. Guess you could say interestin’.”

“Let me unload Hop Sing’s supplies first,” Adam said, “and we can all sit down and talk.”

My curiosity turned to fear.  “Something the matter?”

“Hoss will explain, but I doubt he wants to tell the story twice.”

With the wagon unloaded and the mail thrown on my desk, I guided my sons to the dining room table and called to our cook. “Three thirsty men out here, Hop Sing. Do you have any of that good lemonade?”   We barely sat down before Hop Sing brought lemonade and a plate of sugar cookies. When Hoss gulped his drink down and didn’t reach for a cookie, I knew something was wrong. “Well, Hoss?”

“I ain’t sure where to start, Pa.” His movements were unsteady, jerky. Not like Hoss at all. “There was this gal, see.”  

I glanced at Adam. “A gal?”

“Yes, Sir. Little blonde. She minds that lunch counter at The Cary House.”  

When Joe’s leg was cast and we were forced to stay in Placerville, I vaguely remembered a young lady about Joe’s age when I’d gone downstairs to get a carry-away lunch, sandwiches, and apples if I recall. “Go on.”

“Her name’s Marianne Hofstadter and she … well, she’s friends with Joe. Maybe not friends exactly, but she knows them boys … knows them pretty well. She said they’d been through a couple of weeks ago looking for work and was back two days before I rode in. Still looking.”

“What kind of work?”  

“Anything that paid a decent wage. Said they was bronc busters, but they’d take any kind of work they could get.”

“Two days ago …”

“It’s been nearly a week now, Pa. See, I hung around town for a while hopin’ they’d come through again, but I didn’t have no luck. I left my name and a few dollars with the girl and told her to wire me if she heard anything else.”

What I didn’t understand was why Joe and Andy felt comfortable heading back to Placerville.  The farm was only five miles away; a hellish place, and I thought they would’ve ridden in another direction. Hoss tried his best, and we knew where they might settle if a job presented itself although I needed my boy home. I wanted to saddle up and ride out that day, but that wouldn’t solve the problem. Whether my heart said so or not, I had to let Joe find his own way and give up the thought of running. Maybe then, he could find peace on the Ponderosa.  And that’s how we survived the next few weeks, hoping and waiting though never quite accepting my decision to let Joe work things out alone.

Chapter 3

Seeking refuge, the burned-out shell of the farmhouse served as sleeping quarters for the two young men. After sorting through the rubble as best they could, they made do with what remained intact. Straw had been gathered and beds were constructed on pallets where the front parlor once served as a command post. Every night at nine sharp, young men had gathered in a straight line so Johansson could denigrate and disgrace his so-called soldiers. Would they be imprisoned or punished, or would they be set free to work another day? No one could predict. No one dared speak up. The decision was Johansson’s and his alone.

The man had been a tough taskmaster. He demanded perfection and punished to record the consequences. The age of the boys didn’t matter. He didn’t care what it might do to their spirit much less their souls. A daily dressing down became routine, and Joe realized early on that he could block out the man’s foul voice and remember a land where trees grew tall and lake water glistened.

Life on the Ponderosa had a calming effect. It meant home and family, and when winter snows gave way to tall spring grasses and a rainbow of wildflowers, Joe would ride—sometimes recklessly—through open fields until he and his mount had their fill. The days were endless and vibrant, and he treasured the hours spent on the back of his pony. He often found comfort by seeking out other memories, but he could distance himself from his captor more effectively when he rode through those glorious fields.

Now, his goal was survival, and he feared the father he once adored. Those long-ago visions of home and family had been marred by threats of punishments, and he’d made the only choice he saw fit. He put those dreams behind him. He’d find work and find a way to make it on his own.

Joe was soon hired on a trial basis. “Prove yourself, Son, and you’ve got the job.” He signed on as a bronc buster though the job was short-lived. With only three mares needing attention, he proved he was more than capable, but when the job ended, so did the money and he had to find work elsewhere.  

Marianne secured Andy a job as the hotel’s bellhop, which also meant cleanup duty when he wasn’t busy hauling luggage and heavy trunks to upstairs rooms. He washed dishes, swept floors, and polished brass fixtures. 

Though he wasn’t keen on menial work, employment, and a steady job had been provided. It also meant he’d been offered room and board. He declined the room but took any leftover food for the two of them to eat back at the farm.

Constant searching for a new payday had given way to sleepless nights and a shorter-than-normal fuse for Joe Cartwright. His irritation became an endless distraction, and if the friendship was going to survive, Andy had to let his frustration at his best friend surface.

“This isn’t working like we planned,” he said.  

“We’re doing okay.  Not rich yet, but we get by.”

Andy never had trouble talking to his partner before, but this time was different. He’d lived hand-to-mouth his whole life, and he wanted more than working for a mere pittance just to get by. He wanted a home of his own and at some point, a wife who’d share the simple life he envisioned. He needed to put Johansson and his drunken father behind him but living in burned-out rubble only brought back the horrors of the childhood he tried to forget.

Joe was part of those horrors. Although his friend took the brunt of the abuse, Andy had been there to comfort and restore a sense of balance. His assurances had been received and valued as Joe made his way back to consciousness on a weekly basis, but they’d returned to the godforsaken place where punishment had been handed out like a cool glass of buttermilk on a warm summer day.

In addition to living in squalor and eating handouts, Andy began having feelings for the girl who’d befriended them when no one else but Ben Cartwright cared whether they lived or died. After rescuing his son, Joe’s father took Andy into the fold with no reasonable explanation as to why he showed compassion to a stranger, but he had. 

He’d been a good boss and a decent human being until a slip of the tongue had sent Joe into a frenzy, and they fled the comforts of home and family the following morning.

Things were different now. 

Andy had done his job the best he knew how. He’d kept Joe alive. He’d kept his friend sane, but with time and the longing to start a new life, the two needed to go their separate ways. If he could convince Joe that his pa’s comment was only that—a silly comment that meant nothing at all—Joe could return home. With a lesser burden to carry, Andy could move into the hotel, and in time, maybe he could court the pretty girl who made his head spin.

“We’re not doing okay, Joe.  This is crap and you know it.”

“What the heck are you talking about?”

“This life. Our lives. Why are we doing this?”

Joe stood from his seat on the pallet and crossed the blackened room. “I can’t live under his roof. You know that and so do I.”

Andy stared at the back of his friend. “Why?  Because he made a joke? Because he wasn’t thinking? Give it up, Joe. It ain’t worth leavin’ a good home.”

“What do you know?”  

“Look. You’ve always been a fighter. Ever since the day I met you, I knew you could handle just about anything. You didn’t need me then, and you don’t need me now.”

“I don’t understand.  You wanna leave? Is that it?”

“In a way.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means I can’t live like this anymore. I want out.  I’m taking a room at the hotel in the morning.”

Joe stared out the broken window where shards of glass still jutted out haphazardly. Had it all been a dream? As he stared over the barren field, his mind began playing tricks.  He watched himself plowing, planting, and carrying buckets of water when the rains didn’t come. The army’s demand for cornmeal and the constant sense of failure always surfaced in the shadows of his mind. Grinding. Bagging. Hauling. “Faster, faster, faster …”

“What?”

“Oh.  Sorry.  I … just.  Go. Move to town. I don’t care.”

“Talk to me, Joe.”

“There’s nothing more to say.”

“Will you go home?”

“Home?”

“It’s time to man up. Time to make amends.”

“Make amends? You think I was wrong to leave, don’t you?”

“Not at the time, but I do now. Stop running, Joe. Your family loves you, but you do everything in your power to shut them out. Your father made a mistake, but did you give him a chance to explain? No. You ran.  Every time something doesn’t go your way, you run.”  

 “I had reasons to run.”

“Not this time. This time you were wrong.”

Had there been a door to slam, Joe would have done so when he stomped out of the burned-out rubble and into the barren cornfield. Dust swirled at his feet. A life wasted. A life out of control and burdened by the past. Could he return to a family who didn’t understand, who only saw good and tried to erase the bad? Had it been so bad that running was his only option? He wasn’t sure. Maybe Andy was right. Maybe he screwed up again.

Though his eyes began to tear, he fought for control. He was a man, not a little boy. No longer could he let childlike emotions and the sinking feeling of despair rule his thoughts. He ached for home and his family but crawling back with his tail tucked would show a certain weakness he couldn’t bear for them to see. They’d coddle and cajole and try to make things right, but things could never be right again.

He’d witnessed the longing in his father’s eyes for life to return to normal, but three years had changed him, hardened him. How could he make them understand that he wasn’t the same Little Joe? That boy died the first time Johansson shoved him in the pit, closed the iron bars over his head, and keyed the metal lock.

His father made a joke and he overreacted. He knew that now. The little boy in him returned that day, and he stomped off to the barn like a petulant child. He’d let his heart rule his mind and he ran. Andy was right. He always ran. Hoss used to call him a human jackrabbit, and Mama used to say he ran like the wind. 

What if she’d lived? What would she think of her son now? “Man up.” Those were Andy’s words and maybe he was right. Maybe it was time to quit running.

Chapter 4

Every day was a struggle. Even though I tried to get my boys talking, meals were a quiet affair. I’d always used hard work to dispel mindless hours of dwelling on things we couldn’t change. This time, none of us could get past the fact that Joe had been found only to leave the Ponderosa unexpectedly.  As I sipped the last dregs of my coffee, so did my elder sons before pushing up from the dining room table.  

“See you tonight,” Adam said.

The work never ended.  Hoss and Adam were heading back to the north range to finish a job they’d started yesterday. “I have business in town, but I should be home by mid-afternoon. You boys have a good day.”

“Pullin’ ornery steers outta bushes and bogs ain’t always a good day, Pa.”

I smiled up at Hoss.  His idea of sarcasm never quite hit the mark, but I wouldn’t have him any other way. He was beefy and strong and hard work never fazed him. He’d be lost without projects that keep his mind focused. Otherwise, the misery over losing Joe a second time would consume him. As I rode into Virginia City, I spotted Roy standing on the boardwalk. He waved his hat, and I pulled up in front of the jail. 

“Mornin’, Ben. How’s things out your way?”

“Good as can be expected.”

“Little Joe still ain’t back?”

“No.”

“Maybe tomorrow.”

“Maybe.”

Roy Coffee and Paul Martin were the only two people I’d told about our situation. Both men were new to Virginia City, and both men had become good friends. They were good people, conscientious, and eager to help. Joe’s leaving was neither an issue with the law nor a medical problem, but both took time to listen, and I appreciated their concern.

“Walk with me to the Post Office?”

“Sure will. I was headin’ that direction anyhow.”

Wagonloads of goods traveled through dusty streets. New picks and shovels were snatched up as soon as they arrived at Vern’s hardware. Virginia City was a mining town and just as wagons pulled in daily with fresh supplies, so did new arrivals. Word of silver strikes spread like wildfire, and men who’d given up the goldfields in California headed straight for the Sierras and a new prospect of striking it rich. The town bustled with energy and excitement.

A young man sitting on a tired bay rode up just after I slid the mail into my vest pocket. Roy and I both turned toward him when he called out my name. “Mr. Cartwright! Mr. Cartwright!”

“Slow down, Son,” Roy gestured by smacking the boy’s leg with his hat. “You ain’t gonna see your next birthday you keep riding like a wild banshee.”   

“Telegram, Sir.” I thanked the boy and handed him a shiny dime before peeling the envelope open and reading the sparse number of words.

“`

Ben Cartwright, Ponderosa Ranch.

Joe on his way home.

Andy McDaniel.

“`

I read the wire three times before handing the thin sheet of paper to the anxious sheriff. “Hey, that’s good news, Ben.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

“Guess you won’t be staying for a game of checkers.”

“Not today.”

Roy smiled and clapped my back. “Don’t you skedaddle outta here like a wild banshee, you hear?”

“I’m afraid I’m too old for that.”  

“Good. I’d like to see you celebrate another birthday, maybe even two.”

I chuckled and grasped the good sheriff’s hand. “So would I.”

I left Roy to make his rounds and hurried back to my horse. I planned to see Hiram Woods, but I didn’t have a scheduled appointment. I could see him anytime. Today was special. My boy was coming home. Busy tending his garden, Hop Sing looked up but went right back to weeding when I rode into the yard. I stabled Buck before I relayed the good news. “Little Joe’s on his way home.”

“Boy finally get sense?  Know what right and what not?”

“I guess so.”

“He come today?”

“I’m not sure.”

“I cook. Boy come.”

I nodded my appreciation and walked into the house with a lighter step than I had in a long while.  Hop Sing would cook something special every day until “his” boy arrived. When my sons rode into the yard after a full day’s work in bushes and bogs, I relayed the good news from Andy’s wire. Hoss’ eyes twinkled with excitement, but Adam used more caution though I wasn’t sure why.  Outward feelings weren’t his strong suit although I thought he’d be glad to hear about his brother’s homecoming.

“Today?” Hoss said but didn’t wait for an answer. “Maybe me and Adam should ride out just to make sure he don’t forget the way.”

“I think he can manage on his own, Son. Why don’t you two wash up? Hop Sing’s been cooking all day. I don’t know whether he’ll be home today or tomorrow. It’s a two-day ride, and I doubt Joe’s aware a wire was even sent.”

“Ain’t Andy comin’ with him?”

“Listen, Boys. I don’t have all the answers. All I know is Joseph’s coming home.”

Chapter 5

Two days passed and then three, and there was still no sign of Joe. Anything could happen alone on a trail, and every scenario possible filtered through my mind like little snippets of reality I didn’t want to dwell on. 

Did his horse lose a shoe? Did he change his mind mid-trip? I didn’t want to think the worst, but it became difficult to wonder if he wasn’t in trouble. When Hoss offered to ride out again, I worried that Joe would assume we didn’t have faith in his abilities, but I couldn’t wait much longer and agreed to let Hoss go.

As the sun set that evening with no word from either boy, I stepped out to the front porch carrying a hot cup of coffee. I hadn’t slept for days and should’ve settled on brandy instead. Had Hoss accomplished the task he’d been willing to take? If so, why weren’t they home by now? Had they stopped to camp overnight? Was one of them hurt? Sometimes, fatherly intuition took over, but not this time.  Tonight, I was at a complete loss.

When Adam joined me outside, he brought two shots of brandy with him. “It’s only been a day,” he said. “Give them time.”

I tossed the coffee and accepted the glass of brandy. My son knew me well. “I know, and I’m trying.”

“Has Hoss ever let you down?”

“Of course not, and I don’t expect he will this time either.” I wish my answer reflected how I felt. If anyone could track that boy down, it was Hoss so what made me feel so uneasy?  

Just before dawn the next morning, I stood rooted to the front porch hoping the boys would magically appear if someone were there to greet them. Foolish old man with foolish whims. Just what did I expect to see? If the boys had made camp, it was too early for them to ride in. No one in his right mind would shave and dress at this hour but an anxious father who couldn’t lie in bed a moment longer. Not even the sweet sound of birdsong filled the cool morning air. As I turned to go back in the house, I glimpsed my eldest son leading two ready mounts from the barn.

“What’s this all about?”

“We both know something isn’t right.”

“Is that your take?”

“It’s yours too, isn’t it?”

Bedrolls had been attached, and a cloth sack of supplies hung from the horn of Sport’s saddle. “I’ll get my things.” I strapped on my gunbelt and grabbed my hat. Maybe our thinking was irrational. Maybe we jumped the gun, but Adam could be right.

“You bring Mr. Hoss and Little Joe home to Ponderosa?”

“That’s the plan, Hop Sing.”

As the sun crept over the horizon, guaranteeing another hot summer day, we rode out of the yard and to the road that would take us to Placerville. Curiosity had the best of us, but I felt better already. No more guessing. All this sitting and wondering and pretending nothing was amiss was more of a fool’s game than riding out and getting answers.

Placerville was a two-day ride if a steady pace was kept, which we managed until noon when we stopped at a stream to water the horses and have a bite of jerky. After a brief rest, we slowed our mounts and looked for signs along the way.

“I think that’s Chubby’s mark,” Adam said pointing to a hoof print. “Hoss said something the other day about having to shoe his right hoof.  Something about a chip in his shoe.”

“Well, he made it this far.”  We were on the right trail, but I had no doubt that Hoss would stick to the main road; at least, traveling west.  If he hadn’t found Joe by the time he reached Placerville, he might have varied his route on the way back. “Let’s go.”

After a full day’s travel and nothing out of the ordinary, we made camp, but Adam noticed something right off. “Hoss stayed here,” he said, and I had to agree. The small ring of rocks around a burned-out fire was Hoss’s doing.  My middle boy treasured every piece of land he crossed and would do anything to keep it safe. Even building a campfire just for himself, he used caution.

“Tomorrow then,” I said.  “Surely, we’ll find one or both of them tomorrow.”

We turned in late although we both woke early and headed out, each of us anxious to know what the day would bring. We rode in silence until I spotted debris on the horizon. “What’s that up ahead?”

“I don’t know.  Something’s not right.”

We turned our horses into a full-out gallop until we came upon a sight that made both our stomachs turn.  An upturned stage and four dead horses dotted the landscape. A stagecoach normally uses six fresh mounts. Had the other two been set free? Adam and I dismounted and while I checked inside the overturned coach, Adam circled the wreckage looking for clues about the accident.

“No one in here,” I shouted. 

“Only mailbags but look at this.” 

I pointed to a large tree branch that lay under the body of the coach. “This wasn’t an accident.  Looks like road bandits wanted something worthwhile from the stage.”

“Looks that way.”

“I walked up ahead,” Adam said, “and it looked to me like three horses left the sight, but I can’t be sure.”

“Hoss?”

“Possibly. Maybe he found the driver and … it’s hard to tell.”

“Let’s ride.”

By the time we reached Placerville, it was late afternoon, but the best sight of all was seeing Chubb tied outside the sheriff’s office. We rushed inside. “Hey, Pa. Adam. What in tarnation?”

“We got worried, Son.”

“Sorry about that, Pa. 

I should’ve wired when I got here.”

The sheriff—Red—stood up from the chair behind his desk. “We meet again.”

I offered him my hand.  “Yes, we do.”

“Your son’s a decent kind of feller, Mr. Cartwright. Most men would’ve kept on goin’.”

“What happened out there?”

“Someone dragged a tree limb across the road, and I’m guessing the driver couldn’t stop in time.

“We saw the limb.”

“Payroll money.”

“Figures,” Adam said. 

“They get clean away?”

“Sure did. Had a posse on them for three days but lost the trail when they turned up into hard rock country. Funny thing, though.  That was a brand-new coach, straight out of Concord. 

Bright red paint and yeller wheels, but one of my men found three bullet holes. If someone planned the crash, who was they shooting at, and why? The driver was busted up some. He probably died on impact.”

My sons and I made eye contact. Were we all thinking the same thing?

“Your son brought him and two of the horses back to town, but there weren’t no bullet holes in the driver. I tell ya, Mr. Cartwright. It’s a mystery to me.”

None of us mentioned our suspicions to the sheriff. It was a wild shot and I wanted to talk to Andy first. That way, I’d have a timeline to go on. “I think we’ll get a room at the Cary House. We’ll stop by later, Sheriff.”

Red turned his attention to my middle boy. “Thanks again, Hoss. You’re a good man.”

I asked the boys to stable the horses while I went to the hotel. Andy had sent the wire from Placerville, but I had no idea how to find him.  Maybe if I talked to the girl … Marianne, I think Hoss said.

A line of men waited for service in the hotel’s café, and the same little blonde Joe and I had seen when he’d broken his leg still worked the counter. I decided to check in first and wait until she’d taken orders from the hungry miners before I pulled her aside to ask questions.  

“If the suite’s available, I’ll take it,” I said.

“Very good, Sir. One night only?”

“I’m not sure. At least two.”

“All right.”

I laid my saddlebags on the counter while I signed in. I didn’t have luggage although the clerk banged on his bell anyway. A smartly dressed young man with a curious little red cap hurried out from the back room.

“Yes, Sir?”

“Will you show Mr. Cartwright to his room?”

“Yes, Sir.”

As the young man moved closer, I realized immediately … “Andy?”

“Yes, Sir, Mr. Cartwright. 

What brings you to town?”

“You.”

“Me, Sir?”

I looked back at the clerk.  “May I have a minute of this young man’s time?”

“Something wrong, Sir.”

“No, not at all. We’re old acquaintances.”  

“Oh … certainly.” The little man sighed with relief as he reached to the back wall, unhooked the key, and handed it to his bellhop.

I was in too much of a hurry for chitchat or I would have sung Andy’s praises rather than have the little man wonder why I wanted to speak to his employee. Instead, I took Andy aside and asked questions I hoped he could answer. “Do you remember what day you sent that wire?”

“Um … let’s see. A week ago? Why? Is Joe with you?”

“No, he’s not, and that’s why my sons and I are here.”

“He should’ve been home four or five days ago. I told Joe to go ahead, and I’d send the wire.”

I noticed Andy kept glancing over my shoulder at the desk clerk, and the last thing I wanted was to get the boy in trouble. “I know you’re busy, but I’d like to talk again when you get off work. Is that possible?”

“Yes, Sir. But I’m not officially off until nine tonight.”

“Nine it is then. 

We’re in the suite.”

“Good enough. I’ll see you later, Sir.”

I’d forgotten Andy had the key to our room, and I followed him up the stairs. He unlocked the door and handed me the key. “Such service,” I said.  

“The Cary aims to please.”

“I see that.”

“I’ll be back at nine, Sir.”

I gave him a quick nod but as soon as I flopped my weary bones in an overstuffed chair, Hoss and Adam arrived and were eager for a decent meal. “Lost Wages?”

“Sounds good to me,” Hoss said.

By the time our steaks arrived, Hoss thought an apology was necessary, but that was Hoss. His constant worry about being a disappointment made him the most reliable person I knew. Hoss could never disappoint. It wasn’t in his nature.

“I’m sorry I got waylaid, Pa. I ain’t holdin’ up my end of the deal.”

“Oh, Hoss. Don’t be silly.” His appetite wasn’t what it should’ve been, a clear sign he felt guilty over not finding Joe. “You did what you had to do, and I’m proud of you, Son.”

“Thanks, Pa, but you know what? I noticed them bullet holes too. I realized the stage was brand new, and it got me to wonderin’.”

“I think it has us all wondering.”

“You think Little Joe was involved.”

“We can’t count it out. He could’ve run into them head-on.”

“Wrong place? Wrong time?”

“Possibly, Adam. We’ll ride out first thing in the morning. The boy’s out there somewhere, and I won’t leave without him.”

We left Placerville after a quick breakfast and rode back to the wreckage where the three of us separated. Although Hoss was the better tracker, we took off in different directions. After talking to Red one more time, he said the posse followed tracks heading south so Adam and I thought we’d see if anything was missed before the bandits rode into the high rocks. Hoss rode north just in case. The plan was to meet back at the stage at noon or fire a signal if luck was on our side.

If the bandits took Joseph with them, they could be on their way to Mexico and my thoughts veered in that direction. Of course, I thought the worst. Leave no witness. No body – no crime. A man was hanged for murder but not for robbery. If Joe witnessed the crime and wasn’t left for dead at the scene, the scenario made perfect sense.

Andy had done as promised and came by the suite at nine. He brought Marianne with him in case we had questions for her too. To find out the boys had lived at the farm shocked the three of us more than I can say, but I soon realized the farm was home for years and it might make sense that they return to familiar surroundings.

“I got tired of our living arrangements, Mr. Cartwright. We lived on scraps from the café and slept on pallets. After living like animals for nearly three months, I told Joe I was taking a room at the hotel, and he needed to go home and make amends.

“You see, Sir … I realized how you must’ve felt when we left the Ponderosa. I felt the same way when Joe and I separated, and I think he did too. We promised to keep in touch, and we promised we’d see each other again. It will never be the same, but it was time we moved on, time to make a new life, and try to forget the past ever existed. Does that make sense?”

“It makes perfect sense, Son.”

Andy and Marianne sat next to each other on the small settee, and I couldn’t help but notice how he gripped her hand before he relayed his side of the story. The young man was in love, and he was ready for that new life.  

“I hope we all see each other again. No matter where you settle, you know how to find us, and you’re always welcome in our home.”

“Thank you, Sir. You’ve been more than generous, and I’ll always remember my time on the Ponderosa.”  

Though we didn’t have much of a lead on Joseph, I was pleased that Andy had done his best for Joe and that he’d found happiness with Marianne. “I wish you the best, Son.”

Chapter 6

Hoss rode alone. He squinted into the bright sunlight as he scanned the horizon before studying the ground for signs of a horse or man on foot.  But an infinite number of hills played tricks on him and became nothing more than a vast cropping of working and forgotten mines. He’d seen wagon trails and hoof prints, but did they mean anything at all? Was he to check every working and abandoned mine?  Would one hold the results he was after?  He rode toward a stream to water his horse. “Dang if I know, Pa,” he mumbled, but only Chubb heard his cry of frustration.  “Sure hope you’re havin’ better luck than I am.”

Standing in knee-deep water, miners lined the creek bed shaking and sifting dirt through homemade sluice boxes.  From old men with long white beards to boys even younger than Joe, they bent over their awkward contraptions. Hoss couldn’t fathom the get-rich-quick scheme that brought so many men from so many parts of the country. 

Hard work got a man rich and bending over a box all day and hoping for a miracle gave Hoss reason to be thankful he wasn’t that kind of fella at all. But, he could ask questions. Surely, these men had to look up from the clear running creek now and again.

Leading Chubb by the reins, he walked along the stream and asked every man he saw if they’d seen a boy with funny-looking hair. Joe’s white hair had grown out some and his locks had become a two-tone mess of unruly curls. An old-timer, who’d taken time to sit down and eat a plate full of beans, asked Hoss if he wanted to join him. “Big man like you’s gotta be hungry all the time.”

“Well, you’re right there, and I thank you for the offer, but I’m lookin’ for a boy who might’ve come this way.”

“Lots of boys come this way. This one somethin’ special?”

“Yeah. He’s my little brother. Might have a gunshot wound. Might not. I ain’t rightly sure. He’s got funny lookin’ hair, though. You’d understand if you saw him up close like.”

“I just might be able to help ya, Big Fella.”

“Yeah? You seen him?”

“Ain’t sure. Kid I saw didn’t look nothing like you. He was pretty scrawny.”

Hoss’ eyes widened like saucers. “That’s him. That’s Joseph.”

The old man stood and pointed up the creek. “Martha’s got a boy with her. Found him about two miles south of here. She’s always takin’ in strays and feeding ‘em a meal or two.”

“Whereabouts she at?”

“Walk that animal up the creek. Can’t miss her bright red dress and big floppy hat. If’n he ain’t your brother, at least she’ll feed you better’n I can.”

“Thanks, Ol’ Timer.”  Hoss started to turn but looked back at the old man. “Anything you need ‘fore I leave?”

“Nope. Got everythin’ I need right here.”

“Thanks again.”

Hoss stepped lively until he spotted the red dress. Pulled up from the hem and tucked in her waistband, the old woman stood sifting and swaying in the creek just like everyone else. An A-frame tent stood nearby and he wondered if … was it too much to hope for?

“‘Scuse me, Ma’am. Mind if I have a word?” Putting one hand to her back, the woman stood up straight and stretched her burning muscles. With the other, she tilted the brim of her floppy hat farther down and narrowed her eyes up at Hoss. As she plowed through the knee-deep stream to the water’s edge, Hoss studied the contours of her face. She looked to be Pa’s age or better, and he wondered how she’d come to siftin’ for gold when she should’ve been home raisin’ a family. “It’s about the boy.”

“Who told you about him?”

“A man downstream.”

“What’s this boy to you, Mister?”

“He might be my brother, Ma’am.”

“You don’t look like a feller who’d be kin.”

“You’re right. I don’t Ma’am. That’s why we call him Little Joe.”

Martha moved closer to Hoss.  “He done somethin’ wrong? You the law?”

“No, Ma’am. Just a brother.”

“Come on then. I got him inside.” Hoss followed the woman and nearly bent in half to slip through the small opening. “He’s hurt bad when I found him. All shot up and tryin’ to crawl.”

“Shot up?”

“Yep. Two bullet wounds, one to his left leg and one to his right arm. Didn’t fare so well those first couple of days. Fever set in after I dug them slugs out. Poor thing’s a fighter though. Think he might live after all.”

Kneeling on one knee, Hoss swept the matted hair from his young brother’s forehead. “Joseph. Wake up, Boy. Ol’ Hoss is here to take you home.”

Joe tried to curl up sideways, away from the voice, until recognition hit him head-on. “Hoss?”

“That’s right.” Hoss eyed the two wounds wrapped in what looked like Joe’s shirt. “Pa and Adam are both waiting down by the wrecked stage.”

“Shot.”

“I see that. Think you can ride?”

“Horse got away.”

Hoss looked up at Martha as Joe struggled to get his words out. Though the boy was weak and barely conscious, Hoss couldn’t leave him behind.  “You ain’t seen a pinto wanderin’ around, have you?”

“Nope.”

Hoss laid his hand on Joe’s chest. “We’ll worry about Cochise another time. Right now, I need to get you to a doctor.” When he tried to stand, Hoss rammed his head into the canvas tent and quickly squatted back down. He looked up at Martha. “You think he can ride?”

Martha rubbed the back of her neck. “I ain’t no medicine woman.”

“No, Ma’am, but I sure appreciate what you done for him.”

Martha blushed and removed her floppy hat. “Take him. 

Maybe you can get him to eat. I tried but he don’t seem too fond of my cooking.”

“It ain’t that, Ma’am. He … well, he’s had a tough go lately and he don’t eat much of anything. Don’t blame yourself. It’s just his way.” In the summer heat, Joe hadn’t needed a blanket, and he lay there half-naked. His shirt and pants had been removed and the left side of his long johns had been torn off above the knee. “Is his clothes around somewhere?”

“They was a bloody mess, Big Fella. I used part of his shirt for a bandage and burned the rest.”

“All right. What’s done is done.”  

Hoss slid both hands under his brother’s form and crouched through the tent’s narrow door but when Joe struggled and tried to stand, his leg gave way when his toes touched the ground. Hoss grabbed him up again. “Hold still, ya dang fool.”

Managing to lift Joe onto the saddle, Hoss turned back to Martha. “I’d like to pay you for what you done.” Hoss reached inside his vest pocket.  

“No. Don’t need no handout.”

“For medicine and such.”

“Will it make you feel better?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“You’re a good man, Big Fella. You got a ma and pa?”

“Just a pa, Ma’am.”

“You tell him he raised you right.”

Hoss smiled and handed the woman a ten-spot. “Buy yourself a new dress and a good, hot meal, Miss Martha. You saved my little brother, and I can’t do enough to thank you.”

When she reached up and pulled him close, and smacked a big, wet kiss on his cheek, it was Hoss’ turn to blush. Before climbing up behind his brother, he tipped his hat and waved as he turned Chubby in a southerly direction. “Good day, Miss Martha. Hope you strike it rich!”

Epilogue

Winter came early that year. Fog stained the windows as snow gently covered the landscape. Our lives had changed once again. Joseph was home to stay, and we all adjusted, especially me. For a long time, I told myself Joe was no longer a boy, but I’d never changed my way of thinking, not really. I still saw him as a youngster I could reprimand and criticize without thinking things through. It wasn’t easy to accept that the boy was gone and a man with thoughts of his own had emerged over time, time spent away from the Ponderosa. Time I’d never get back.

We all struggled at first, everyone except Hoss, who seemed to understand and know just what to say when Joe’s feathers were ruffled, and he was ready to explode. I feared he’d run again but Hoss knew better. Joe worked hard to dismiss the past and make a new life, and Hoss seemed to know he was home to stay.

“Don’t fret none, Pa,” he said more than once. “That boy ain’t goin’ nowhere ever again.”

But, between my terrifying dreams of Joseph taking off and Joe’s frantic nightmares, I had reason to fret.  I tried to soothe his tortured soul as the terror of the past surfaced but, in time, he began to let go, and I sensed he was ready to move forward just as Andy had done with his new life at the hotel.

Joe balked about having to lie around the house while his bullet wounds healed and over time, I learned to compromise. Even Adam criticized the way I babied the boy, and I had to change my old way of thinking more than once.

“He just wants to sit outside. Is that such a horrible request?”

My eldest was right, of course. Fresh air and sunshine couldn’t hurt; in fact, it might be the best thing for the boy.  I learned to accept the changes and realized I couldn’t boss three grown men like I had when they were children.  When I accepted my failures, we were all better for it.  

After a month of convalescence, Joe was anxious to get back to work. Paul Martin said light chores for a week and then back to business full-on. Although leery, I said nothing. I was learning. Just as Joe began his days of mending tack while sunning himself on the front porch, a letter arrived from Andy saying he was on his way to the Ponderosa. Joe missed his friend, and the signs were clear as he sat waiting and watching for his friend to ride in.

When a rider approached, I stood from my desk and walked out to the porch in time to see Andy dismount and Joe hobble over to greet him. If he sat too long in one spot, his leg gave him fits. He never complained, and the rest of us could sense the lingering pain, but we kept our remarks to ourselves. After two breaks and a bullet wound, it’s a wonder there was any life left in that limb, but the best surprise was seeing what Andy had brought with him.

The subject had come up several times over the last few weeks. “I’m going, Pa. As soon as I can ride, I’m going out to find him.” I didn’t object to his plan although I wouldn’t let him leave alone. One or both of his brothers would accompany him, but that wouldn’t be necessary now.

Joe ran his hands up and down Cochise’s neck then checked every inch of his horse before turning his attention back to Andy. “Where’d you find him?”  

“Grazing just north of town. I don’t know for sure what happened, but I remember you saying no one could ride him but you. Maybe the outlaws gave up and swatted his rump outta frustration.”

Joe held his hand out to thank him, but his friend grabbed him in a bear hug instead. “You doin’ okay? You all healed up?”

“Good as I’ll get, I guess. How ‘bout you?”

After tying their mounts to the hitch rail, the boys headed to the front porch and plopped down in two of the chairs. They had much to discuss and didn’t need me to interfere. I left them alone to laugh or shed a few tears. Whatever was needed.

Andy stayed two days before saying he had to get back. He’d been given a new job and a decent salary—assistant manager of the Cary House. The night before he left, we all sat down to supper and celebrated his promotion. Andy was on his way to a bright future in the hotel business. He learned from the bottom up, and I had a feeling he’d found steady employment and would rise to the top in no time.

“We’ll be sure to stop in next time we’re riding through,” Joe said.

“I’ll keep the suite open for Cartwrights only.”

We chuckled and wished him well. He’d left his past behind, and I believed Joe was on his way, too. The nightmares had calmed, and he accepted that the food on his plate would always be safe to eat. Though no one expected Joe to keep up with Hoss, his cheeks weren’t as hollow and gaunt. He’d started to fill out, and I took that as a good sign.

We all waved goodbye the following morning, but it was hard for Joe to watch his friend round the barn and head back home. They’d always be brothers, maybe not by blood but in spirit. I had Andy to thank for my son’s life, and I wished him the best.

When I slid my arm across Joe’s shoulders, the rigid tension beneath my palm subsided and my son forced a half-smile. “How about a cup of coffee,” I said.

Joe nodded and the four of us walked inside together. Andy would be missed but never forgotten. “He’ll do just fine, Joseph.”

“I know. He’s the best friend a man could ever have, Pa.”

Yes, my boy had become a man, a good man, and I was as proud as the day was long.

The End
2020

The next story in this series: – The Farm #4

The Farm #2

~The Return~

by jfclover

I woke to a horrific sound, so inhuman that I tossed my bedroll aside and reached for my gun. A wild cat? Though they rarely attacked at night, what else could it be? Adam had done the same only he’d reacted faster than his old man. Standing tall, he squinted deep into the darkness and leveled his pistol; he sought to eliminate the intruder.

Swallowing the heavy lump in my throat, I sat up and listened for another ear-piercing scream, but a whispered voice caught my attention and I turned toward the sound. Andy McDaniel, the young man who rode with us from Placerville, cradled a whimpering Joseph in his arms. I’d been struck by their close relationship and thought I understood the extent until now, but Andy’s reaction to the situation was more than two young fellas who told tall tales and drank their first beer together in the local saloon. This type of bond had no limits.

Moving closer to the seventeen-year-old boys, I knelt on one knee. “What happened?”

“Just a nightmare, Sir. He’s fine now.”

A boy I barely knew held my son close to his chest and rubbed his back in a circular motion. In the low glow of the campfire, I witnessed the intense sense of loyalty the boys held for each other. Andy had calmed Joe by using a soft, endearing voice and gentle hands just like Adam or I had when Joe was young and often fragile after similar night terrors. Without reservation, Andy was able to comfort my son back to sleep.

“Thank you,” I said and crawled back to my place in camp. Adam holstered his gun and settled under his bedroll. Nothing more was said although I couldn’t close my eyes after witnessing the scene and the whispered words between friends.

Much more would need to be discussed about their days on the farm. Had Joe been brutalized more than Andy or vice versa? Were they taunted equally, deprived of life’s necessities until one of them dropped from exhaustion leaving the other boy strong and willing to tend to his partner’s needs?

Children caring for children. Fevered and possibly delirious from the harsh reality of starvation, frigid weather, and the stress of fatigue, gave my blood good reason to boil. I bore such hatred toward those who ordered Joe captured and grossly mistreated that sleep wouldn’t come. I flung my bedroll aside for a second time that night and walked deep into the woods. I sobbed for my troubled boy.

By sunrise, there were no reminders of the terror that struck Joseph during the night. He and Andy were eager to help in any way they could. They gathered wood for the campfire and saddled all five mounts before we sat down to a meager breakfast of coffee, bacon, and beans.

“Ready to ride, Boys?”

“Yes, Sir,” they chanted in unison.

The second day’s ride proved uneventful until Hoss entertained us all with stories of Joe’s early years, which, the way Hoss embellished; they might’ve been considered tall tales to someone who didn’t know Joseph as we did.

“Remember when you and Mitch and Seth tipped old man Snyder’s outhouse after he hollered at you for fishin’ in his pond? Remember how Pa warmed your butt for that one? You couldn’t sit for a week, little brother.”

I appreciated Hoss trying to bring Joe’s mind around and help him remember his past, but I could think of better stories than ones that included punishment.

“Okay,” Adam said. “How about the time Joe climbed Eagle’s Nest.”

“That was a long night, weren’t it, Adam? Little Shaver was only five. Had me and you and Pa really going that time, didn’t he?”

Though I caught Andy chuckling at times, Joe hadn’t acknowledged his youthful behavior, nor had he questioned his brothers’ renditions of his rather active past. We’d almost lost him that night at Eagle’s Nest, and I wasn’t finding the same humor as my grown sons, but I didn’t interrupt either of them. If just one of those images triggered a reaction, I was willing to let them continue.

We kept a steady pace and by dusk, we rode into the yard where Joe saw the house for the first time in years. I hoped for a spark of recognition, but his continued silence said volumes. I didn’t know what it would take before the reality of being Little Joe Cartwright, beloved son and brother, began to surface. Take it slow. I needed to heed my own words.

Adam and Hoss said they’d stable the horses. I grabbed my saddlebags off Buck, but the rest of the supplies, including Joe and Andy’s second set of clothes had been split between my older son’s bags. I led the younger boys into the house.

“This is it,” I said. “This is the home you were raised in, Joe.”

Joe and Andy took separate paths around the room. Andy walked straight ahead while Joe turned to his right and stopped in front of my desk. Something had caught his eye and when he picked up one of the silver frames, I prayed for a connection. He returned the first and picked up the second. After studying Inger’s face, he set that one down and picked up the third—his mother. He stared longer this time and held it with both hands. He bowed his head and whispered, “Mama.”

I crossed the room and lay my hand on his shoulder. “Beautiful, wasn’t she?”

“Pa?”

Tears gave way, and I pulled my son to my chest. “Yes, Joseph.” I didn’t care if the whole world was watching. My son was home and nothing else mattered. I’d longed for the day. I longed to hold my boy, to know he was alive, and that no matter how much he’d endured at the hands of evil men, no one could destroy the bond I shared with my youngest son.

I didn’t hear Hoss and Adam walk through the front door, and I didn’t see them move toward Andy and take him into the kitchen. My thanks would come later. I led Joseph up to his room and saw recognition in his eyes. He touched the quilt on his bed before moving toward the window and looking outside.

“I stood here many times, Pa. Every time you sent me to my room, I came here first and stared at what I was missing because I’d disappointed you in some way. I always felt bad, but that had been after the fact after I’d done something I shouldn’t.”

I listened but I didn’t interrupt.

“That day in Placerville when I went behind the main house, I finished my business and that’s when an army officer approached me. It seemed odd at the time, but he’d made me curious. He said he rode the finest horse in the army and would I like to see him. I jumped at the chance.”

Joe glanced over his shoulder at me then turned back toward the window before he continued his story. “He said his mount was just over the rise and it would only take a minute. I believed him, Pa. Gullible, stupid Joe Cartwright.”

I started to speak but thought otherwise. The story was not yet finished.

“Before I knew what happened, he tied my hands and gagged my mouth. He had me mount the second horse he brought with him, and we rode fast and hard. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t scream for Adam. If I hadn’t gone with him. If I hadn’t fallen for … if I hadn’t been so stupid.”

“No, Joseph.” I crossed the room and stood behind him. “You were a child. He was an adult dressed in uniform. How could you have known what lay ahead?”

“If I just—“

“No more ifs, Son. Don’t even try to blame yourself. The blame rests on the U.S. Army and Johansson. No one else. It’s just like I told Adam.”

“Adam?”

“He blames himself too, always has.”

“Adam didn’t do anything wrong.”

“And neither did you.”

As a tentative smile formed, I knew I’d gotten through; at least, I hoped. Two sons wrought with guilt was no way to live. It had to end before we could move forward as a family.

I wiped my eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. “Why don’t we join the others.” Joe nodded and we moved down the hall to the stairs. My sons and Andy had found seats at the dining room table where they enjoyed cups of coffee and fresh-baked sugar cookies. With his hands folded in front of him, Hop Sing stood patiently waiting to see his favorite son.

Joe descended the stairs and headed straight to the man who helped raise him. After a few soft words in Cantonese, Joe wrapped his arms around Hop Sing until both became one. The memories of home and family I thought might be lost forever had returned. My son was home, and our family was complete. The start of his new life would begin.

Chapter 2

Andy came from the city, had been raised by the town drunk, and knew nothing about ranching. To get things rolling and to discover what Joe remembered about day-to-day tasks, I asked that he take his friend in hand and show him how things were done. That way, I could also find out what Joseph remembered or had learned on the farm. Since he’d been school-age when he disappeared, he, too, had things to learn.

The upcoming drive was just weeks away and neither of the boys was ready for the grueling responsibility of pushing eight hundred head of cattle to Sacramento. If I kept them home, I had to stay behind too, which put us down one more man and left Adam to serve as trail boss. Though I hadn’t discussed the problem with my elder sons, I felt sure the thought had crossed their minds.

When Joe and Andy burst through the front door, laughing and punching each other’s arm playfully, I looked up from the notes on my desk. “What’s so funny?”

“You ain’t seen nothin’ till you watch a city boy try to muck stalls.”

“Oh? And you’re an expert?”

“Sure I am, Pa. Been swinging a rake since I was old enough to hold one in my hands.”

“You have a point, Joseph, but what about the—“ I cut my question short. Should I bring up the farm or not? There was so much I didn’t understand about those missing years and was afraid to ask. Why hadn’t Andy ever mucked a stall? Was that Joe’s job or someone else’s? “Hang in there, Andy,” I said instead. “Don’t let Joseph’s expertise get you down.”

“Oh, no, Sir. It’s just his way. I don’t listen to half of what he says.”

“You’re a smart boy, Son.”

I licked the tip of my pencil and began sorting numbers in the ledger when Joe pressed his palms on my desk. “Hey, Pa?” I looked up. “How long till the cattle drive?”

“Three weeks.”

“Maybe I better show Andy how to rope a steer instead of cleaning the barn and straightening tack.”

I feared the question would arise, but could I manage the right words to explain? I cleared my throat. “We won’t be going this time, Son. Just Adam and Hoss and whatever drovers they can find.”

“What do you mean we won’t be going?”

“Just what I said, Joseph. Neither of you are ready for a three-week drive. It’s not a simple task and I don’t think … maybe next time.”

“That ain’t fair, Pa.”

“Fair?” I stood from my seat and rounded the desk to meet my son eye-to-eye. “I don’t think fair is the appropriate word, do you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You and Andy are new to all this. You were a schoolboy when you disappeared. You weren’t ready for three weeks on the trail, and I don’t believe you’re ready now.” I looked on as Joe’s shoulders fell and he stared at the tips of his boots. Perhaps I overstepped. Perhaps I sounded just like Johansson.

“Yes, Sir. Whatever you say, Sir.”

“Joseph, please.”

“Sorry, Sir. Didn’t mean no disrespect.”

Over the past week, I discovered that Joe was quick to retreat to the set of rules he lived by on the farm. “Yes, Sir. No, Sir.” Do what you’re told or be punished, maybe within an inch of your life. I still didn’t know the details, and maybe it was time to sit down and see if the boys would talk. Hoss and Adam were rounding up strays, and I suggested that Joe and Andy join me at the dining room table.

“Hop Sing? Would you bring two glasses of milk and coffee for me?”

“Right away.”

The boys took their seats and I joined them at the head of the table. After our drinks and a plate of cookies were served, I cleared my mind of figures and cattle drives and concentrated on the two boys and their years of captivity. They’d been home for a week, and nothing had been said about Johansson or the farm.  It was time to delve into the world they’d known and a world I knew nothing about.

“There are things I need to know, and I hope you boys can help me out.” Blank eyes stared back. “I’ve only been told bits and pieces about the past three years, and it would be helpful if I knew more. What do you think?”

I gazed at my youngest son and when he dipped his head, I realized nothing about this little talk would be easy. Even when Joe was a child, it often took time to pry the truth from him, and we seemed to be right back to that little boy who found it hard to look me in the eye and tell his side of the story.

“I’m not sure what you want to know, Mr. Cartwright.”

“I want to know your day-to-day routine. I want to know how you were punished if you disobeyed. I want to know what Johansson fed you and how many times a day. Joseph can’t stomach more than a few bites at mealtime, and I want to know why a seventeen-year-old avoids eating good, healthy food. I want to know what the nightmares are all about. Do you understand what I’m saying? I need to know everything that happened on that farm.”

“That’s a big order, Sir.”

I relayed my thoughts to Andy as if Joseph wasn’t even there. “I know what you’re saying, but you need to understand that as a father, I can’t help my son until I know what the underlying problems are. Just moments ago, Joseph cowered in front of me. He went back to a world I know nothing about. Joe has always been a fighter. He’d never give up on something he believed in that quickly.”

“You mean the cattle drive?”

“Yes, I mean the cattle drive.”

Joe hadn’t looked up. He kept his head bowed and his hands in his lap. This wasn’t my son. And when he pushed back his chair and ran toward the stairs, I stood and called out his name. “Joseph,” but he didn’t stop running until the bedroom door slammed shut.

“I’ll go.”

“No. You stay right here and explain what just happened.”

An explanation didn’t come easily. Andy’s father was a drunkard, and maybe that’s when he learned to think before he spoke. Unlike Joseph, he mulled things over first, but if the situation called for patience, I could be a very patient man.

“Joe didn’t tell you the whole truth, Mr. Cartwright. When he first came to the farm, he and I were paired up, everyone was. Jake and Tommy. Si and Billy. Arnold and Frank. Me and Joe. That’s how things worked. At night, when we were supposed to be sleeping, Joe talked a lot about you and the Ponderosa. He told me about Adam and Hoss and Hop Sing. He said as soon as you let him quit school, he planned to work alongside his brothers, but we were stuck in that awful place. Those dreams he had of becoming the right age and doing grown-up work eventually went by the wayside. The stories of home quit coming.”

“But why? Why no more stories?”

“I don’t think I should—“

The boy struggled to keep the truth hidden. “You have to, Andy. I have to know why.”

“Johansson … he …”

“Go on.”

“One night, he overheard us talking.”

I leaned closer. “And?”

“He pulled Joe from his bed and took him away. He … um … there was a holding cell in the barn and … Joe, he was put inside.”

It took everything inside me to hold my temper in check. “What kind of cell?”

“A deep pit in the barn floor with iron bars across the top. If you disobeyed orders, you had to jump down into the pit.”

“How long?”

“Sometimes a day. Sometimes a week. It depended on the infraction.”

“How long was Joe in the pit?”

“That time, he spent a week.”

“Was he fed?”

“Bread and water.”

“That’s all?”

“Yes, Sir.”

It occurred to me Andy had said, “that time,” which said volumes. How many times had this type of punishment occurred? How often had Joe disobeyed? “Was Joe put there more than once?”

“Yes.”

“Often?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Mr. Cartwright …”

I thought the worst was over, but I had to know why a fourteen-year-old boy had been caged like a wild, vicious animal. I had to know what I was dealing with. “Take your time, but you’re not leaving this table until I know everything that happened.” After those few words, Andy’s resolve to hold back gave way to the truth.

“You know about the research, right?”

“I know about Johansson withholding food and sleep, but why don’t you explain the rest.”

“Talking about our past was prohibited. That’s why Joe was taken to the barn that night, but Johansson caught him again the next week … and the next. Each time, a week was added to the punishment, but Joe didn’t care. ‘I can take it,’ he’d say, but the pit wore him down, and I guess you could say the Ponderosa had been erased from his mind. I remembered it all, though. The house, the lake, the tall trees, and of course, the best stock money could buy. Joe was prideful of his home. Home and family meant everything to him, but he could take only so much, and he never spoke of home again.”

I held my grief in check. The story had just begun, and I needed more. “Go on, Son. We have three years to cover.”

Andy relayed some of the same stories Dr. Hershey had mentioned back in Placerville. Being chained outside overnight during the worst conditions possible, winter cold and blazing heat, and the excessive number of chores without food or water were just the beginning. After a full day’s work, the boys were often forced to march the perimeter of the farm from sundown to sunup and then plow or harvest the fields the next day. Endurance had been Johansson’s motive for the excess.

Disobedience meant punishment. Trying to escape was considered desertion and the boys were stripped of their boots and shirts and forced to hold full wooden buckets of water at shoulder height until their arms and shoulder muscles were spent, and they collapsed in the dirt. Then, they were taken to the pit.

I prayed Andy was finished but when he continued, my heart sank.

“Should I go on?”

“There’s more?”

“You said you wanted everything.”

I glanced up the stairs. Joe hadn’t come out of his room and there was no time like the present. “Go on.”

“Your son never gave up the fight, Mr. Cartwright; at least that first year. Sometimes I tagged along with his ideas. ‘I have a plan,’ he’d say. I’d try to talk him out of running, but he was always so gung-ho to have us both out of there that I usually fell for his schemes.”

I remembered something Hoss had said not so long ago. “You can break the horse, but you can’t always break his spirit.” And that was Joe. Always thinking. Always planning his next move. Hoss was right. Johansson never broke his spirit. But Andy had said that first year. We had two more to go.

“Those were the worst times. We always got caught and hauled back to the farm, and that’s when Johansson tried to pit us against each other. He knew we’d become fast friends, and his solution was to punish Joe. He felt that Joe was the leader.

“Other times, he’d tie Joe’s arms straight out between the two posts he’d set in the ground behind the barn. He said it was an old Indian trick and who better than Joe to show strength of character? He’d make me and the other boys watch.”

“Watch what?”

“You see, Mr. Cartwright. Rawhide shrinks and Joe’s wrists were bound with wet rawhide. By noon, after the leather dried completely, Joe’s arms were nearly pulled from their sockets.”

“That man,” I whispered. “Who gave him the right?”

“I’m sorry, Sir, but you said—”

“I know what I said, but I’ve heard enough for now.” I rose from my chair and crossed the room. I slammed the front door on my way out.

By the time I caught my breath and had time to think things through, Andy had retreated upstairs to his room, possibly Joe’s. As close as the two boys were, I had to assume they’d already discussed everything I’d been told but what now? How could Joseph move forward after what he’d been through? Could a normal life ever exist again? Would a strong hand to hold and an understanding heart be the key to unlocking the horrors of the past?

Chapter 3

Adam and Hoss were late riding in, and I asked Hop Sing to hold supper until they arrived. I wasn’t ready to discuss Johansson and his brutality, and I busied myself with bookwork throughout the afternoon hours. Maybe that was wrong, but I needed time to consider the effects. Would a discussion of past events bring the family closer or set us further apart?

When my older sons arrived home, I asked them what they thought about taking the boys on the drive. Adam balked at first, and I explained why I thought it might be best to keep us all together.

“Joseph’s been to hell and back, and he needs to know we’re family and nothing can break us apart. He wants to work with Andy. He thinks he can have him ready in time for the drive. Are we in agreement?”

Although Adam had reservations, he and Hoss were willing to work with Andy and Joseph before the drive. Too many things could go wrong and if the boys weren’t at the top of their game, the results could prove devastating. By the time we sat down to supper, I felt if we all worked together, we’d have two expert drovers to help get the cattle to Sacramento.

“Your brothers and I discussed the drive,” I said after we filled our plates with roast beef, green beans, and potatoes. Thinking they already knew the outcome; the two white-haired boys dropped their heads. When I announced they’d be joining us on the drive, two smiling faces lit up like Christmas morning.

“But,” I continued. “Neither of you are ready. You’ll be working with Hoss and Adam over the next couple of weeks. You’ll listen and you’ll learn, and they’ll judge whether you’re ready for the drive or not. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good. Eat up. Let’s get some meat on those bones.”

All four boys left the next morning to help with roundup. As Hoss said last night, “The only way to learn is to do it a hundred times over. Them boys won’t know what hit ‘em. Me and Adam’ll work their tails off.”

At twelve, Joseph had been introduced to roundups but not cattle drives. Though he would’ve gladly missed school to ride with us, I wouldn’t hear of it, and he stayed home with Hop Sing. He’d missed critical years of training. I had no doubt he could become a top hand, but three years of farming didn’t provide the same insight or afford the same discipline needed for three weeks of punching cattle.

By the time they arrived home that evening, the rain that persisted most of the day was down to a sprinkle, and four tired men washed up, changed their muddy clothes, and sat down for supper. “Well?” How’d it go?”

Adam looked at Hoss and then the younger boys. “Who wants to start?”

Hearing the tone of Adam’s voice nearly made me flinch. He sounded none too happy. “We didn’t do so good,” Joe said. I glanced his way, but Adam was quick to reply.

“That’s an understatement.”

“Awe, come on, Adam. It weren’t that bad.”

“No? We only got half a day’s work done.”

“We’ll make it up tomorrow. You were a greenhorn once too, Big Brother.”

With nostrils flared, Joe leaned forward and aimed his question at Hoss. “Who’s callin’ who a greenhorn?”

I rested my hand on Joe’s arm. “Take it easy, Son.”

“I ain’t no greenhorn, Pa.”

“No one said you were.”

“Oh, no?”

“What’s the problem, Adam?”

“Nothing Hoss and I can’t handle. We’ll get the work done tomorrow.”

Andy hadn’t said a word, but Joe’s temper gave way in an instant, and we couldn’t have that with eight hundred beeves on the line. Human lives were at stake too, and Joe had to realize the importance of remaining steady and calm before I allowed him on the drive.

After a few games of checkers and small talk, the younger boys and Hoss headed up to bed. Still toting white hair and dressed like twins in their tan pants and gray shirts, I wondered if that would be a problem during the drive. Without Joe riding Cochise, it would be hard to tell them apart.

Adam remained in his chair although I doubt he’d read much of his book with the three carrying on all evening. He hadn’t said any more about the boy’s so I posed the question that had worried me since supper.

“Will they be ready?”

“Ready?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Adam.”

Slipping his index finger between two pages, he closed his book. “You mean the boys?”

“Of course, I mean the boys.”

“They have a way to go.”

I leaned forward in my chair and took my eldest to task. “That’s not what you inferred earlier. You made it sound like they goofed off all day.”

“I don’t know if goofed off is the right word, but …”

“But what? He isn’t you? He doesn’t do things your way?”

“I didn’t say that either, Pa.”

Adam turned and faced the last remnants of fire before he spoke. “I don’t expect him to be like me, but I expect him to show some maturity. He’s seventeen, Pa. He’s old enough to take a job seriously.”

“And you don’t think he does?”

“I think he’s got a lot to learn.”

I settled back in my chair. “I don’t know.” Adam waited for more of an answer, and I needed to choose my words wisely. “Andy and I had a long talk yesterday. I learned more about the farm and perhaps why Joe is feeling a certain freedom he hasn’t felt for years.”

“Is there something I should know?”

“I don’t know that either, Son. I haven’t spoken to Joe, but I’m sure Andy told him we talked. You know how they are.”

“Two peas.”

“Exactly.”

“What do you suggest?”

“I’ll tell you this. Joe was punished numerous times for running away. I think he’s okay physically, but mental scars are hard to heal. I guess what I’m saying is to take it easy with him. Teach him the ropes but try not to lose patience if things don’t go your way. Give the boys some breathing room. Remember, Son, Joe was just a boy when he was taken, but even then, he dreamed of the day he could quit school and work with you and Hoss. Let’s all try to make the transition a happy one.”

Adam’s quick nod was enough assurance for me. “I’m sorry, Pa.”

“You and Hoss are the best teachers those boys could have. I have confidence that you and your brother will see them through and turn them into the best drovers on the drive.”

While the boys worked round up the following day, I slipped into town and bought each boy a new shirt, red for Andy and dark blue for Joe. We couldn’t have twins on the drive, and brightly colored shirts should do the trick. A game of checkers with our new sheriff almost made me think life was back to normal. Roy asked about the boys, and I said they were adjusting. It was only a half-truth, but outsiders didn’t need to know every detail.

That night at supper, I noticed a distinct change in Joseph. He joked with Andy and his brothers and laughter rang out around the table like never before.

“You should’ve seen them boys today, Pa. Adam and I played ornery steers, and Joe and Andy roped each of us nine outta ten times. They’s learning fast, ain’t they, Adam.”

I smiled at my eldest son. He’d listened to his old man after all. He changed tactics, and let the boys have some fun. An ounce or two of play mixed in changed everything but was hard for Adam to swallow. He’d done just that, though, and I was proud of him.

“Sounds like you had a good day.”

“The best, Pa. Right, Andy?”

“All I can say is thanks for taking me on, Mr. Cartwright.”

“My pleasure, Son.”

Chapter 4

Rain fell as we mounted up for the drive. Spring was like that, and if we were lucky, any chance of snow would bypass the Sierras and head straight for the Rockies. Fingers crossed that luck would be on our side. Hoss hired two extra drovers, Lucky Carmichael and Sam Overton, which gave us seven men in all. Lucky and Sam had punched cattle before, and I saw no immediate problems with his selection. They seemed like decent men, young and hungry for work.

I served as trail boss and after introductions were made, I gave the order to move out. Hop Sing left in his chuck wagon at dawn. I told him where to meet up so he could have a hot lunch waiting when we arrived. No time would be wasted on day one.

After surrounding the herd in the south pasture, we moved southwest to the route that would lead us to Sacramento. Remnants of past drives prevailed. A swath fifty to eighty yards wide still showed signs of last fall’s drive, which made the trail easy to follow.

Adam had set the rotation schedule. Lucky and Sam rode drag the first day. Adam kept Joe with him, and Andy rode alongside Hoss. Day two would be a different story. The boys would be on their own but not together. Adam paired each of them with a more experienced drover. The plan made good sense, and the boys would have a day of instruction under their belts before they were let loose with the herd. By the time the chuckwagon came into sight, we were ready for a much-needed break.

“Hop Sing make good stew.” An iron pot hung over the campfire, and he’d set up a small table with plates, forks, cups, a large pot of coffee, and two loaves of bread. “Everyone eat now,” he barked as though we were children and didn’t have a brain in our heads.

Hoss rubbed his belly as he walked up to the table. “Don’t have to tell me twice, Hop Sing.”

The rest of us followed but no one dared cut in front of Hoss. Even the new men knew better than to disrupt a big man’s place in line. I let Andy and Joe go ahead of Adam and me. The boys looked tired, but they still made time to elbow and needle each other over some earlier event on the trail. Dressed in red and blue, it was much easier to tell them apart as we listened to their trivial banter.

I turned to Adam and whispered. “They doing okay?”

Adam nodded. I’d speak to Hoss later, but there were no telltale signs indicating that anything was amiss. After everyone finished their lunch and set their plates back on the table, we saddled new horses from the remuda and pressed on. Next stop—supper and a good night’s sleep.

By the end of day four, we reached Placerville and made camp in a box canyon west of town. With the mining town and Johansson’s farm behind us, I wondered if we’d made a mistake herding the cattle so close to the infernal research institute.

While we calmed the stock, Hop Sing worked his magic and had a good, hot supper ready when we returned to camp. Our horses had been rope-tied with the others in the remuda, and seven hungry men were anxious to eat and bed down for the night.

Andy and Joe had done well, and I was proud of what they’d managed to learn in such a short period. Even Adam admitted that they’d both buckled down and got the job done. Every night, Hoss praised all four young men for a job well done, but compliments came harder for Adam.

With plates in hand, we all sat down and rested hot cups of coffee on the ground. The banter around the campfire had nothing to do with cattle or fatigue, and I found myself watching Joseph and the way he continued to pick at his food. I needed more insight, and maybe another talk with Andy would help me understand.

The following morning, I woke to the smell of coffee brewing over a flaming fire. I was surprised to find that Joseph had woken before me and had already folded his bedroll. How long had he been awake? Had he slept at all? When we made our way to chuckwagon, Hop Sing poured two cups of coffee.

“Why you up before birds?”

Hop Sing was a treasure. He knew things no one else ever thought or cared about, and he kept our lives running smoothly and comfortably. Even during the hardship of a drive and not having a kitchen to work from, we often took for granted the hours he put in that were above and beyond. But, he never learned that demanding answers before a man drank his first cup of coffee was an irritation I could live without.

“Good morning to you, too.” He handed steaming-hot cups to Joe and me. “Thank you, Hop Sing.”

“You welcome.”

Eyes began to open, and bedrolls were thrown aside as everyone else began to stir and make their way toward Joe and me and their cups of steaming brew. With bacon frying in one skillet and eggs cooking in another, Hop Sing didn’t have time to bark at the others as he had with Joe and me.

“I’ll saddle the horses, Pa.”

“What about breakfast, Son?”

“I’m not very hungry.”

“Joseph …”

But Joe set his cup on the table and started toward the remuda before I had a chance to sit him down and force him to eat with the rest of us. As Andy watched him walk off, I took the young man aside.

“I’m worried about Joe.” Andy seemed perplexed by my statement. “Is there something you haven’t told me about?”

“I’m not sure what you mean, Sir.

“I’m referring to my son’s eating habits. He’s prone to skip meals altogether or eat very little of the food on his plate. Is there a reason why?” Andy hesitated to answer. “For Joe’s sake, I need to know.”

“More than once, his food was tainted.” My look of disbelief prompted Andy to continue. “Johansson … well, when Joe would try to escape … it’s a long story, Mr. Cartwright. Are you sure you want to hear it right now?”

“Yes, I would.”

“Johansson used Joe as an example, Sir.”

“Go on.”

“If a soldier was captured by the enemy, Johansson would demonstrate the tactics they used to make a prisoner talk—you know, give up information about the troops. Sometimes, they were beaten. Sometimes, their food was tainted. At times, they were put in the hole. Each time Joe tried to run, he was treated like a prisoner of war.”

“Are you saying Joe tried several escapes?”

“Yes, Sir. Each time he tried, Johansson added punishment to the crime. I begged him to … are you sure you want to hear this, Sir?”

I slid my arm around Andy’s shoulder, and we walked farther into the woods. “If I’m going to help my son recover, I need to know what I’m dealing with and why the actions were taken. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Sir.”

So much more to the story than I’d been told. So much I didn’t understand that I had to keep probing for answers.

“Andy? Is there more you haven’t told me?”

“I’m not sure what you mean, Mr. Cartwright.”

“You know exactly what I mean.”

Just as Andy began to speak of something still unknown to me, an earthshattering explosion rocked the earth where we stood. When I turned toward the sound, shards of rock began roaring down the mountainside, slamming straight into the box canyon and onto the backs of our cattle. Adam and Joe and the two drovers mounted and rode toward the herd. Hoss stayed behind and led two ready mounts toward Andy and me.

“Let’s go!”

The billowing dust cloud blinded us from pinpointing the exact origin of the slide, and in an instant, the cattle began to stampede. To rein them in, shots were fired into the morning sky as the seven of us circled the herd, trying to prevent the obvious nature of spooked cattle. If we could turn them into themselves rather than running for unseen cliffs or too-deep riverbeds, we could save the lot from disaster.

Shouts and shots rang out. Adrenalin ran high as hooves crashed into the ground with a thunderous roar. The situation was dire, and I feared for my sons. One wrong turn of the rein could send an unsuspecting cowboy headlong to the ground. Hoss sat tall in the saddle, and I could see his white hat bobbing up and down. The others were too far away for me to keep track of their movements.

With every nerve on edge, I worked my eager cutting horse left and then right at the far end of the canyon and could only pray that my sons survived the same grueling effort it took to bring eight hundred head to a standstill. When I spotted a glint of blue and then red, I knew the youngest boys could hold their own but, in an instant, both brightly colored shirts were gone, and I stared into the cloudy haze.

Adam’s deep baritone voice rang out— “Man down!” —And I raced toward the direction of the shout. Two unmanned mounts ran from the melee, but as I rode up and pulled my horse to a stop, my worst fears were noted. With hands gripped tight around my boy’s wrists, Andy tried to drag Joe away from the pounding hooves, and, through waves of dust, Adam flew from his mount and grabbed hold of Joe’s booted feet.

I rode alongside until my youngest was safely away before I dismounted and took him in my arms. “What happened?”

“Steer rammed Joe’s mount,” Adam said. “He didn’t stand a chance.”

“I’ll stay with Joseph. You two do what you can.” I turned my attention to my boy’s half-closed eyes. “Son?”

“Pa?”

“I’m right here.”

“Couldn’t get out of the way.”

“You’re all right now.”

“Horse stumbled.”

“I know. Tell me what hurts.”

Joe forced a smile. “Everything.”

“I bet.” I felt along each arm and every finger for broken bones before moving to Joe’s legs. When I lifted his left foot off the ground, he tensed and sucked in a halting breath. No bone protruded—thank God—but whether a fracture or sprain had left him trying to hold back the pain, he needed to see a doctor. “We best get you to town.”

“I’ll be fine, Pa.”

“Sure, you will.”

“I mean it. Just give me a minute to catch my breath.”

“You play by my rules now, Joseph. The doctor first. If he says nothing’s wrong, we’ll rejoin the drive.”

“But, Pa.”

I ignored his protest. “Let’s get you on your feet.” If that didn’t do the trick, nothing else would. A painful cry exploded when Joe touched his boot heel to the ground. My assumption was right but was mounting a horse out of the question? We could use the chuckwagon if necessary. “Think you can ride?”

Though he clutched my arm with force, his face paled to that of a ghost. “I can ride.”

I hadn’t paid attention to anything, but Joe and I hadn’t realized the herd was under control until Adam and Andy rode up with two fresh horses in tow. “How is he?” Adam asked.

“Left leg needs to be seen by the doctor.”

“Figures.”

I glared at Adam as I wrapped my arm around Joe’s waist. I could feel his body go rigid before he shouted back at his eldest brother. “I suppose you could’ve done better.”

“Probably not.”

“That’s enough, Boys.” Not until a smile crossed Adam’s face did Joe realize he’d been had by his big brother’s sarcastic teasing.

“Should we hold up here until we hear back whether or not the kid broke his leg?”

“It puts us a day behind, but I see no other choice.”

“Want me to ride with you?”

“No. Joe says he can ride, and I’ll go with him. We should be back by noon at the latest.”

“I’ll tell the others. Good luck, Joe.”

“Thanks, Adam.”

Placerville was about two miles east of the box canyon, and by the time we rode up in front of Doc Hershey’s office, Joe’s face was covered in sweat and his eyes were glassy bright. I helped my stiff-legged son up the stairs and through the front door.

“Doctor?”

“Coming.” Still holding my son upright, Dr. Hershey stopped dead in his tracks when he saw us. “My goodness. You’re the last two I expected to see.”

“We encountered a stampede just west of here, and I’m afraid Joseph didn’t fare too well.”

“Come in and let’s see what I can do.” We followed Doc into the examination room, and I helped maneuver Joe to a sitting position on the long, wooden table. “No blood. That’s always a good sign.”

“It ain’t nothin’, Doc. Just a strained muscle.”

“Will you let me be the judge?”

“The doctor’s right, Joseph.”

“Fine.”

“Let’s ease these boots off … and Joe, you’ll have to drop your drawers.”

The left boot caused Joe to cringe, but when the doctor ran his hands up Joe’s shin, he cried out. Dr. Hershey glanced sideways at his patient. “Doesn’t look good, Joe.” My son shook his head with disgust. His first real cattle drive, and he’d be laid up for the duration. “I’ll have to cast the leg.”

“You sure, Doc?”

“Quite.”

Although the cast only ran from below Joe’s knee and covered his foot to contain any movement, he’d be saddled with crutches for the next few weeks. “What do I do now, Pa?”

“Well, if they take the herd on in, that’s another two weeks at least before they head back this way. I suggest we book a room at the hotel and—”

“Book a room?”

“What do you suggest?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I could ride in the chuckwagon.”

I settled my hands on my hips. “Do you honestly think Hop Sing would go for a stunt like that?”

“I guess not.” His shoulders fell as optimism that existed only a few hours ago subsided into a melancholy state I’d try my best to elevate.

“Once I get you settled at the hotel, I’ll ride back to the herd and tell your brothers. That way, they can meet us here on their way back.”

“Fine.”

Chapter 5

Adam and Hoss assured me they could get by with five remaining men. “We’ll do fine. You take care of Joe.”

“I plan to do just that.”

By the time I stabled my horse and rushed up the stairs to our hotel room, I found Joseph sound asleep on the bed. Though he’d never admit the injury wore him down, I chose not to wake my young sleeping beauty. With his face relaxed in sleep, he looked so much like his mother that my eyes became blurry at just the thought of how different life would have been had she lived to see her son become a man.

Joe and I had two weeks together, enough time to get things out in the open and perhaps figure out what I could do to help. Nightmares plagued him still, and the reasons behind those terrors needed to be spoken about and rationalized in the light of day rather than pushing for answers at night.

Neither of us had eaten breakfast and after riding back and forth to the box canyon, I was as hungry as Hoss on a bad day. I planned to go to Lost Wages, but the hotel offered several types of sandwiches and side dishes in their small café. Deciding that might be best, I went down and ordered a takeaway lunch.

A little blonde about Joe’s age worked the counter. After boxing up two sandwiches and two nice, red apples, I thanked her and marched back up the stairs to find Joe sitting up in bed. “Hey, Sleepyhead. Ready for lunch?”

Joe didn’t answer, but that didn’t stop me from planting a ham sandwich and a piece of fruit on his lap. I pulled a chair next to the bed and took a big healthy bite of my apple. “Mmm,” I said overloud. “Good. Eat up, Son. Like Hoss would say. We don’t want you wastin’ away to nothin’.”

“I’m not very hungry, Pa.”

“Joseph. There’s nothing wrong with the food, and I want you to eat.”

“I can’t.”

“Why, Joe? Tell me why?”

“It’s nothing.”

“But I know different.”

“What?”

“I’ve spoken to Andy.”

“He exaggerates.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Just leave it alone, Pa. What’s past is past.”

“I can’t, Son. I’m your father and I won’t let you starve yourself to death.”

“You don’t understand.”

“Then explain.” With lunch forgotten, I leaned back in my chair and crossed my legs. “I’m waiting.” Joe looked up toward the window, away from me, and glanced back to the sandwich and apple that seemed to repulse him. This couldn’t go on. It had to end today.

“Andy doesn’t lie,” he said.”

“I never said he did.”

“I tried to run, Pa. Every time I was caught, Johansson used me as an example for the others. Each time, the punishment got worse.”

“Such as tainted food.”

“He never wanted to kill me. He just made my life … I don’t know …”

“Miserable?”

“Yeah. Pretty much.”

“Johansson is dead, Joe. He can’t hurt you anymore. No more poisoned food. No more sleepless nights. No time spent in the pit. Your brothers and I are here to protect you no matter what.”

“It doesn’t matter, Pa. I know he’s dead and I know you’ll do your best, but every time I see a plate of food, it makes me want to gag or throw up.  Just the thought of eating something that might be … I don’t know.  Andy tried his best. He’d taste my food first to make sure it was safe but … it’s hard to explain.”

“I wasn’t there, Son, and don’t know how you feel, but I can’t let this go on any longer. I can’t sit back and do nothing. I can’t let this continue.”

“It won’t, Pa.”

“Are you sure?”

“I promise.”

Joe managed half a sandwich and I should’ve been grateful, but all I could think of as I took small bites of my own lunch was how Joseph struggled internally and how helpless I was to make things right.

The days passed slowly at first. Doc Hershey stopped by twice that first week to check on his patient and, I think, to pry into our personal lives. How had Joe fared since leaving his care? How was Andy making out as a ranch hand? I’d be curious too, I suppose, and I assured him the boys were doing fine.

“You remember Red, our sheriff.”

“Of course.”

“Well, he’s been in contact with an army general. Don’t remember the man’s name, but Red doesn’t want anything like this happening again in his jurisdiction.”

“Good. Although, what’s to keep the army from running experiments elsewhere?”

The doctor shook his head. “I can’t promise they won’t and neither can Red.”

“I haven’t had time to contact the army myself. The boys have kept me busy and then the cattle drive but mark my words, Doctor. They’ll hear from me when we return home.”

“Can’t hurt, Mr. Cartwright, but I wouldn’t hold my breath for an exact answer or expect them to change their ways.”

“Maybe not. Maybe I’m playing a fool’s game.”

“Even fools should have their say.”

“I agree.”

To say Joe and I hadn’t argued would be an understatement. He wanted to rejoin his brothers on the trail, and I objected to his plea. He looked forward to a normal life and felt cheated when his chance to show the world he might be able to rope and cut with the best of them had been taken away early in the drive. I realized the signs of melancholy, and I had to change his outlook before he sunk any deeper.

By the end of the first week, I thought we needed an outing, not that he could do much, but the hotel walls were closing in on us both. “How about a beer, Son? Think you can walk to the saloon?”

“Sounds good, Pa.”

On his last visit, Doc brought a set of crutches for Joe to use while he was in town. Hoss could fashion a pair when we got home, and I propped Doc’s up next to the bed. To my surprise, Joe handled them like a pro. He crossed the room and waited for me by the door.

“You surprise me, Son.”

“Who’s that?”

“I thought you’d need some practice before we left the room.”

“These are nice and sturdy, Pa. Not like … what I meant was let’s get a move on. Time’s a wastin’.”

“Not like what, Joe?”

“Nothing, Pa. Come on. Let’s get that beer.”

I wasn’t born yesterday, and when one of my sons changed direction mid-sentence, it meant there was more to the story, and I wasn’t privy to the details. Joe had been more accident-prone than Hoss or Adam, but no one in our family had ever needed crutches. His gait should’ve been awkward or unsteady, but he’d flown across the room as though nothing was amiss.

“I’m guessing this isn’t the first time you’ve been on crutches.”

“It wasn’t anything, Pa. Just fooled around once.”

“Sit down, Joe.”

“I thought you were ready to go.”

“Sit down.”

When he finally gave in and collapsed in the closest chair, I began my speech. “I realize you’ve been away for three years, but you must remember some of your upbringing. In this family, we don’t lie to each other. We tell the truth no matter how hurtful or what the consequences might be. Sidestepping the truth is nothing more than a lie, Son. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Are you ready to tell me why you’re so proficient with crutches?”

“It doesn’t matter, Pa.”

“It matters to me, Joseph. It matters a great deal.”

“I hurt my leg once, and Andy made me a crutch. That’s all there is to it.”

“How did you hurt your leg?”

Joe’s body melted. He closed his eyes and let his head fall to the back of the chair. “Trust me, Pa. You don’t want to know.”

“It was Johansson, wasn’t it? What was the punishment that time?”

Joe pushed himself up straight and pressed his elbows on his knees. “You’ve already talked to Andy. He told you everything you need to know.”

“He told me some as did the sheriff and the doctor, but they only skimmed the surface. You were there. You know more than you’re telling and as your father, I can’t help you through this if I don’t know the truth.”

“I don’t need help, Pa. I’m fine. Don’t you see? If I tell you every story, it brings it all back, and I’m trying my best to forget.”

“Maybe just this once and then I’ll back off. I won’t pry or make you uncomfortable by asking too many questions. Deal?”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“I tried to escape. I tried a whole bunch of times, but I always got caught, and the punishment got worse every time. My leg … the same leg,” he said pointing to the cast, “didn’t fare so well after my fifth or sixth attempt.”

At that point, Joe hesitated. I remained silent and prayed he’d finish the story.

“Johansson said they cut the toes off slaves who tried to escape, but he wasn’t going to do that to me. ‘I’m not a butcher,’ he said, ‘but obedience is part of the project, and a lesson will be learned.’ Johansson never dirtied his hands. No,” he chuckled. “Not him. ‘This soldier has brought shame to our unit. He’ll be treated as a prisoner of war and duly punished.’ He handed his metal baton to Andy. ‘You will strike the prisoner.’ When Andy hesitated, I remember how red Johansson’s face got, and he shouted out again. ‘Any man who doesn’t perform their duty will be next in line for a thrashing.’

“Andy swung the baton but eased up just before he connected with my ribs. The next two fellas caught on but so did Johansson. I didn’t stand a chance after that. No one else wanted to take a beating and swung with full force. I heard a bone crack in my left leg, but there wasn’t much I could do. I’d been trussed up like a side of beef in a smokehouse, and when the clubbing ended, my hands were untied and I fell to the ground. Andy helped me back to the house and … that’s about it. That’s when Andy made me a crutch so I could walk.”

“Your leg was never set properly?”

Joe chuckled.

“That’s probably why the bone broke so easily this time, Joe. You should’ve told the doctor.”

“Guess I forgot. Some things you try to forget, Pa. Besides, that was over two years ago. Ancient history.”

“I’m sorry, Son. I’m sorry I made you relive that day all over again.” I took Joe’s hands in mine. “You’re right. The past is the past, and I won’t ask anything more than you’re willing to tell.”

“Thanks, Pa.”

After stepping inside the saloon, I ordered two beers. “You hungry?”

“Not really.”

Joe hobbled his way to a table by an east-facing window. I carried the drinks and joined him. Where else but a ratty saloon could a man forget his troubles and try to move on with his life? Joe had been right. If I kept bringing up the past, I brought all three years current in his mind, and that was no way to live. A man needed space to grow, and I was doing him a great disservice.

“You think they’ve reached Sacramento yet?”

“I doubt it, Son. I don’t expect them back here for another week.”

Joe stared out the window. His mind seemed elsewhere, the drive forgotten. Had I been the cause of those long moments of silence? Was he remembering the harsh reality that consumed his life for so long? I didn’t want him riding horseback, but he could manage a buggy.

“How ‘bout we rent a rig and see the sights?”

“Is there anything worth seeing?”

“Maybe.”

“Fine by me.”

After two beers and little conversation, I had Joe wait in the saloon while I walked down to the livery. When I returned, he stood outside on the boardwalk, waiting. And climbing in the buggy, I handed him the reins. “You want to drive?”

“Sure.” Anything to bring his mind back to the present. “Which way?”

“You’re choice.”

Oddly enough, he drove straight down the road leading to the farm. In amongst neglected fields stood a burned-out shell of a house. The outbuildings, too, had been destroyed by fire. Who’d do such a thing? Red? The housekeeper? Carter, the man who leased the land to Johansson?

Joe pulled up the reins and stared in disbelief at the barren fields. “It’s gone.”

“I don’t know what to say, Son. I’m as shocked as you are.”

“We worked day and night. We packed hundreds of boxes and sent wagonloads of fresh vegetables to the army. Now, they have nothing.”

The sorrowful tone of Joe’s voice brought new questions although I held my tongue. I’d made a deal, and I wasn’t about to break a promise. My son had spent three formative years working the farm under Johansson’s guidance. Some things would never be told. Some things would remain hidden in his subconscious forever. He thought he’d done a noble service for the army, and I couldn’t take that away.

By the time Hoss and Adam and Andy rode into Placerville—dusty and in need of a bath—Joe and I had left the past behind and began talking about his future. Since the age of ten, Joseph knew a good horse when he saw one, and that served as a beginning for our daily talks. At seventeen, he couldn’t sign legal documents, but he could oversee a job that would be of his own doing and in the process, would add growth to the Ponderosa.

The newly founded horse operation would be Joe’s and his alone. He’d be the boss. He could hire and fire and set his own rules and schedule. I would talk to Adam and Hoss, but the decision had been made. Joe needed a future, not a past, and maybe this would help him move on. Hopefully, this was the right thing to do.

My youngest can be very convincing. After a hot bath for Hoss, Adam, and Andy, a juicy steak, and a decent night’s rest, we made plans to ride home the next morning. Joe insisted he could ride, and I let him. My boy was a man now. I’d missed half of his teen years, and I’ll regret that until the day I die, but I had to give him credit for knowing his mind. I couldn’t pamper him like he was still a child. I had to let go. If he could move on, so could I.

“You ready to ride?”

“Let’s go home, Pa,” Adam said.

The looks on all their faces showed promise of a grand future. Hoss and Adam each led horses from the remuda. They’d sold off a few in Sacramento but said these four were keepers. Next time, Joe would make that decision.

I didn’t know what was in store for Andy. Only time will tell. He could leave tomorrow, or he could become a constant part of our family. He was a good kid, and no one had cause to send him packing. Leaving a cloud of dust in our wake, the four of us started for home. The Ponderosa was waiting.

The End
2020

The next story in this series: – The Farm #3

The Farm #1

~Taken ~

by jfclover

Springtime made its mark. Tiny blossoms rose up from the earth so rich and fertile that I figured God must be smiling at his creation. I took pride in my home, and I cared for the land as if it were one of my sons. I couldn’t say whether Adam or Little Joe felt as closely tied as I did, but Hoss came alive in the spring. He cherished the land he called home above anything else.

Hoss and I had been on our own for nearly a week. With his brothers away, I helped with the morning and evening chores, which according to Hoss wasn’t necessary, but I enjoyed the one-on-one time with my middle boy. It’s not often a man gets to dote on one son without interruptions from one or more of the others.

Adam took his young brother with him to look at breeding stock, a peace offering of sorts after a row the two had over Joseph continuing his education. It wasn’t a new conversation. We’d discussed the pros and cons before and both boys were adamant.

Adam thought Joe was college material and, of course, Little Joe had different plans for his future. Nothing new there. The two often clashed although this time tempers flared and words were said in anger. Words that couldn’t be dismissed led to hard feelings on both sides. The damage seemed irreversible until Adam proposed the trip to Placerville. Just the two of them and Joseph was ecstatic, and in confidence, I praised my eldest son for his act of kindness. The last thing Adam might do on a whim was to take his fourteen-year-old brother on a horse-buying trip, but he had. And, just like that, the two quarreling siblings were friends once again. Even though the trip was a week away, Joe began packing that first night. His eyes shone with such gratitude that I didn’t dare mention the fact that I hadn’t been asked whether I was for or against my youngest son leaving the ranch without his father along. I’ll admit, I wasn’t keen on the idea, but Adam was the most responsible man I knew, and carrying on like an old mother hen would’ve put us all at odds. I didn’t want that to happen. I wanted my quarreling sons to work out their differences without the old man standing in their way.

Hoss and I made a good team. There were times of complete silence, and others when Hoss became philosophical and our discussions took precedence over mucking or straightening tack. Our days together had been enjoyable until a young man rode into the yard and handed me a telegram from Adam.

“`

Ben Cartwright: Ponderosa Ranch, NV.

Come immediately.

Joe missing.

Adam.

“`

I read the straightforward message three times before I looked up at Hoss. After handing the young rider a coin, he asked if I needed to send a return wire. I said yes, ran inside, and scribbled out a short message.

“`

Adam Cartwright: Placerville, CA.

On our way.

Pa.

“`

Hoss and I rode as fast as we dared without injuring our mounts. Still, it was a two-day trip and we made camp just over the halfway mark. I doubt either of us got much sleep that night and without taking time for breakfast, we rode out before daybreak. Placerville wasn’t much of a town and Adam wouldn’t be hard to find, but my mind buzzed with questions he failed to answer in the wire.

Joe missing. How? Why? What went wrong? How do you lose a fourteen-year-old boy who would’ve been as excited as Adam overseeing new stock? Even at a young age, Joe had commented on every mount we owned and every new horse we brought to the ranch.

“He’ll be a fine one,” he’d say. “A good cutting horse or a good riding horse,” and Joe’s opinions began to matter not long after he turned ten. He had a good eye, which was a valuable asset on a ranch like ours. But what was I to think? Adam wasn’t one to jump the gun. How long had he looked for his brother, and how much had it pained him to send that wire?

“Just ahead, Pa.”

I’ve never been so glad to see the few small structures of Placerville, as I was that afternoon. Weary and saddle sore became the least of my worries. We needed to find Adam, and as we rode down the dusty main street, my eldest stood in front of the sheriff’s office. He stepped forward and waved his hat as soon as he spotted us riding in. Hoss and I dismounted, and I tried to conceal my fears as I tied Buck to the rail.

“Son ….”

Adam shook my hand although he didn’t respond. He looked up at Hoss and then back at me. “Come inside.” We entered the office and were greeted by a tall, thin man wearing a tin badge. He stood from his chair behind the desk.  “Homer Kerrigan.”

The sheriff pointed to a mop of red curls. “Most people just call me Red. You must be the Cartwrights.”

“Ben Cartwright.” I extended my hand. “This is my son, Hoss. Any word on Joseph?”

“No, sir. Not yet.”

I turned to Adam for answers. “Sit down, Pa. I’ll try to explain.”

His story was short and simple. Joe had excused himself from the horse corral and ran into the back of Luke Havens’ main house to use the facilities and was never seen again. The look on my face prompted Adam to keep talking though there wasn’t much else to say. The boy was there one minute and gone the next. “I looked everywhere, Pa. Joe’s horse is still stabled. His saddlebags are still at the hotel.”

“Kidnapped?”

“I … I don’t know.”

“Sheriff?”

“Your son and I have checked every building and merchant in town and a good deal of the outlying area, but as you can see, we haven’t had much luck.”

“Who’d want to take Joseph? None of this makes sense.”

My look of disbelief gave Adam reason to change the subject, and he stepped closer to Hoss and me. “I reserved a suite at the hotel. I’m sure you rode hard and fast so let’s get settled and have a good, hot meal.”

Hoss’s arm swept across my shoulder. “I could use a bite, Pa. We ain’t no good to anyone without something in our bellies.”

My stomach knotted at the thought of food, but I couldn’t deprive my sons. I would keep my despair at bay and pray that Adam knew more than he told in front of the lawman. “You’re right. Where’s the best place to eat, Sheriff?”

“The Lost Wages Saloon. Got the best steaks in town.”

Red seemed like a nice enough fella. He knew all the local haunts and surrounding area, and it seemed like he’d done his best to help Adam, but this business of young men vanishing in broad daylight didn’t sit well when gold-seeking transients made up so much of the population. There’d been talk of young men and women chained and held as slaves in the mines. Could something that despicable happen to one of my sons? My heart skipped a beat.

My sons and I crossed the street to the saloon. I’d taught my boys to care for their horses first, but our mounts would have to wait. I needed to sit with Adam and find out more. What was Joe’s state of mind? Had they argued? Was there any reason the boy would run off? After our meals were ordered, I expressed my concerns, but his answer didn’t confirm my suspicions

“Not at all, Pa. I’ve never seen Joe so happy and relaxed. He was all over the new stock, checking every inch of every horse from head to hoof. Just like a pro. Luke Havens was genuinely impressed with Joe’s sense of good stock. The two of us stood back and watched the kid work.”

“And then he disappeared.”

Adam’s voice was faint, but his words were clear. “I’m sorry, Pa.”

For a man who kept his emotions in check, Adam had a hard time doing so. His glassy eyes told volumes, and I feared as much for him as I did my lost son. A boy didn’t just disappear. There had to be a logical explanation, and I needed my most logical son to stay grounded, but he seemed to be drifting. I’d raised strong sons, and I needed their strength more than ever.

I reached for Adam’s shoulder. “Don’t get the wrong idea. I’m not blaming you. I’m just trying to understand.”

For three long days, we searched abandoned mines, caves, every ranch, and small settlement within a twenty-mile radius of Placerville and found nothing. No sign of Joe and no one who’d seen a boy wandering the countryside alone. At one of the larger ranches, it looked like an entire classroom of boys about Joe’s age working the fields. It seemed odd at the time to see so many children so close in age, but they were all towheads and obviously brothers—Swedish or Norwegian maybe—and we moved on.

The sheriff—Red—stayed in town asking more questions of the locals, but his luck ran as short as ours. No one had seen anything. No one had even noticed Joe and Adam ride into town except the liveryman who’d stabled their mounts.

“Boy about so high,” he said, holding his hand shoulder height. “Nice kid but didn’t give me credit for knowing my trade. Went on and on about his pony,” he chuckled, “like I’d never cared for an animal before. Kinda got a kick out of a kid that young knowing the horse business so well.”

We thanked the man for stabling our mounts and headed down to The Lost Wages for another good steak. As excited as Joe would become over the mention of a fine horse, Hoss generally looked forward to a good meal but not this time. All the talk about Joe and his horse prowess gave us all a sense of dread as we moved silently toward the saloon. No words could describe how my sons and I felt after three days in the saddle and with nothing to show for our efforts.

“What do we do now, Pa?”

“I wish I knew, Son.”

“We going home?”

I looked up when the bartender approached. “What can I get for you fellas?”

“Four steaks.  All the fixin’s.”

“Four?”

“Oh … I’m sorry. Three. I meant three.”

I dropped my head in my hands. Our lives had changed in an instant. We were a family of four. Four steaks. Four places at the table. Four bedrooms. Four of everything. Hoss asked if we were going home, and I had no answer. How could we ride away and leave Joseph behind? Was that even an option?

“Pa? You okay?”

I looked up and gave Hoss a half-smile. “What would you have me do?”

“I don’t rightly know. Adam? What do you think?”

My eldest had become a follower rather than a leader, with no suggestions or alternative actions during the three days we searched for Joseph. His silence had become more disturbing than I cared to admit and if anyone could bring life back to a broken man, it was Hoss. But Adam only shook his head. He had no answers to give.

With my steak only half-eaten, I wiped my mouth and pushed my plate toward Hoss. “You boys stay here. I need one more word with Red before we leave.”

I slid my chair back and left the saloon. Letting my eyes scan the boardwalks of a town that held no answers, I could picture a wild-haired young man excited to accompany his older sibling on the horse-buying trip. I could almost hear the chatter and see his quick step as he tagged alongside his long-legged brother. Not only had he impressed Luke Havens, but the liveryman who remembered the bright youngster who knew everything there was about horses.

With his hands on his hips, Red stood outside the jailhouse and stretched out his back from too many hours behind a desk. He tipped his hat as I approached. “Sure wish I had good news, Mr. Cartwright.”

“I wish you did too.”

“What now?”

“We don’t have much choice, do we?”

“Sir?”

“I have a ranch to run and two other sons to care for.”

“Oh, of course.”

I pulled my hat lower on my forehead. “This isn’t over, Sheriff.”

“I don’t expect it is, Mr. Cartwright, and I’ll do what I can from this end. I’ll keep my eyes and ears open.”

“I appreciate that.” I pulled a ten-spot from my wallet and handed it to Red. “A little telegraph money. Keep me informed of anything, no matter how insignificant you think it might be.”

“I will, Sir. You have my word.”

*

Chapter 2

Over the next few weeks, months, and eventually years, one or more of us would travel to Placerville and make the rounds. Shop owners and nearby ranchers had come to know the Cartwrights, and we added something new to our list. Since we had no way of knowing if Joe was dead or alive, we checked for freshly dug graves in the local cemetery but so far, there’d been no body to bury, no remnant or reminder of our Little Joe.

I mailed posters within a hundred-mile radius. Using a likeness of Joseph drawn by a newspaperman in Carson City along with a handsome reward, my efforts brought renewed hope and telegrams from Red. Someone had seen the boy, and we raced across rough terrain to look for ourselves. Foolish whims but we had nothing else. Eventually, wires quit coming, and the posters denigrated into trash thrown onto city streets. There was nothing more to do but ask the Lord why, and I did. Many times over.

Life never stays the same. The ranch grew over the years, as had my two remaining sons. Hoss had just turned twenty when we lost Joe, and tonight we would celebrate his twenty-third birthday. Hoping I could bring an evening of cheer was tough. Memories of better days often dampened our celebrations. Without the happy-go-lucky boy who’d made our family whole, we were at a loss.

The boys and I were seated when Hop Sing brought platter after platter of Hoss’ favorites to the table. As far as our cook was concerned, this was #2 son’s special day, and he’d worked since sunup to make the party a success. No one could deny who was Hop Sing’s favorite when it came to setting a table fit for a king, but our little cook had never accepted Joe’s death. The sadness in all our eyes never quite went away.

“Boy still alive,” he would say. “Boy come home when able.”

Tonight, though, it was all about Hoss and a dining experience next to none. Platters were passed and plates were filled. Laughter came slowly but we managed enough lighthearted banter that I felt the night proved worthy. After the candlelit cake had been cleared from the table, I handed Hoss a gift I bought months ago. As he pulled on the knotted twine, a vigorous knock sounded at the front door.

“You know something I don’t, Pa?”

“I’m sorry, Son, but your guess is as good as mine.”

Before Hoss had crossed the room, Roy Coffee—our newly elected sheriff—burst through the front door. “Ben. Ben Cartwright.”

Adam and I pushed to our feet, and I steadied the shoulders of the wild-eyed sheriff. “What in the world?  I take it this isn’t a social call.” The town sheriff, still breathless from a hard ride, shoved an envelope in my hand. “What’s this?”

“Just read it, Ben.”

I hadn’t known the sheriff long, but he’d made a good impression on the town, and I respected him. If he rode all the way out on a Saturday night, he thought the wire was urgent. I ripped the missive open and read lines that would change our lives forever.

“`

Ben Cartwright, Ponderosa Ranch

Come at once.

Joseph is alive.

Sheriff “Red” Kerrigan.

“`

“Pa?” Hoss grabbed my arm. “What is it, Pa? You’re white as a ghost.” I handed him the wire. “He’s alive?”

“What?” Adam snatched the thin paper from Hoss’s hand. “Is this some kind of joke?”

“Ain’t had time to check for details. Wire just come in tonight. I thought you’d want to know.”

“I … I better sit down.”

“Come on, Pa.” Hoss led me to the closest seat, Adam’s chair at the table, and before I could grasp the concept in full, Hop Sing pushed a glass of brandy into my hand.

“You drink. You bring Little Joe back home.”

Adam knelt down in front of me. “We’ll ride at first light.”

I couldn’t get my thoughts straight. I acknowledged his words and threw out an answer that would satisfy me. “Yes. First light.” How I’d longed to hear those words.

“Joseph is alive.” But now that I had, my heart raced with anticipation, and an overwhelming sense of dread. “Where? Where had he been and why now?”

Hoss knelt down next to Adam. “It doesn’t matter none, Pa. Little Joe’s alive.”

Before I could gather my thoughts, Adam voiced my concerns. “It matters a great deal, Hoss.”

Realizing Roy Coffee still stood by the door, I pulled myself together and crossed the room. “I’m a little taken aback but I appreciate you riding out. I can’t thank you enough.”

“Just doing my job, Ben.”

“Yes, well, I’d consider this over and above, but I’ll thank you again. We’ll leave first thing in the morning.”

“That’s why I come. Knew you’d want to head out as soon as possible.”

As Roy closed the front door behind him, I turned to my sons. “Joseph is alive.” Though I spoke the words aloud, I was too overwhelmed to say more. Nearly three years had passed. Could it really be true?

“Best birthday present I ever got, Pa.”

I smiled and moved toward Hoss. “All our birthdays rolled into one.”

“I think you’re right.”

“Let’s get to bed. We’ll make an early start in the morning.”

The two-day ride was grueling. None of us slept the night before, and we didn’t sleep much when we settled in for the night on the trail. When we tied our mounts in front of Red’s jailhouse, we were near exhaustion, but adrenalin kept us moving forward. The sheriff must have heard our horses galloping down the main street. He stepped outside his office to greet us.

“Wasn’t expecting you so soon. You made good time.”

I reached out and shook Red’s hand. “Where’s my boy?”

“It’s quite a story, Mr. Cartwright. Come inside, and I’ll fill you in on what I know so far.”

As we entered Red’s office, that urgent sense of dread returned, and I tamped it down to a minimum. Joe had been found. Joe was alive. I’d repeated those thoughts for two days now. I should be happy, but I was afraid of what I might hear.

“Coffee? Just made a fresh pot.”

“Please,” I said, and my sons each nodded their heads. I took the chair in front of Red’s desk and my boys stood on either side. “What’s this all about, Sheriff?”

After sitting behind his desk, he held his tin cup with both hands. “Avery Jenkins, one of the locals, spotted your boy and five others about the same age walking down the road to town three days ago. Realizing he’d seen them before, he pulled his wagon to a stop and offered up a ride.”

“Seen them before? I don’t understand.”

Red raised his hand to shut me up. “A man named Carl Johansson had a farm just west of here.”

“Johansson. Yes,” I said. “I know the name. My sons and I talked to him on several occasions.”

“He leased the place that housed all them white-haired boys. For the last four years, they took young men right off the street and hauled them out to the farm.”

“How could this happen and no one be aware?”

“From what I can gather so far, Johansson had enlisted in the army over ten years ago. He weren’t a fighting man though; he did experiments. The housekeeper called him a research scientist.”

“These experiments …”

“I’m getting to that, but that’s where it gets tricky. Doc Hershey has been with the boys since they were brought here to town, but all the young men seem hesitant to talk. Mostly, they huddle together in a group and won’t answer questions. Doc says it’s something akin to being captured by the enemy; you know, a prisoner of war.”

“You mean my boy lived on that ranch for three years, and no one figured things out until now?’

“As far as anyone knew, them boys were his sons. No one, including me, had reason to question him or his wife.”

I thought back to the group of boys I’d seen plowing and working the fields. The first thing that came to mind was their striking-white hair. “There’s one thing you haven’t considered, Sheriff.”

“What’s that?”

“Joseph has dark hair. All the boys we saw were blonde.”

“Yep. You have a point. What I ain’t had time to tell you is that Johansson wasn’t stupid. He dyed their hair white, and he dressed them all in the same kind of clothes. You gotta admit one thing, Mr. Cartwright. He made them boys unrecognizable to anyone who passed by.

I stood from my chair. “I want to see my son.”

“Can’t let you do that.”

My blood boiled. “We’ll see about that.”

Red stood up too. “Doc asked to see you first. We can do that here or over to the hotel or saloon. You wanna get settled in first?”

I sighed heavily. “We’ll stable our mounts and go to our room. I expect to see you and the doctor no later than a half hour from now at the hotel.”

“We’ll be there.”

I tried not to storm out of the office although that’s the impression I gave. My boy was somewhere in Placerville and I wasn’t allowed to see him. The wire indicated Joseph would be waiting for us to arrive. Now, I didn’t know what to think.

“Will you two stable the horses while I check in?”

“Yessir.”

As I reached for my saddlebags, exhaustion claimed me, and I leaned heavily against Buck. Held captive for three years. I could barely comprehend, but how was the army involved?

When the two men arrived, Red introduced me to Ezra Hershey, the town doctor. I shook the man’s hand and offered him a seat at a small, round table at the end of our suite. Adam and Hoss entered the room shortly after and remained standing.

“What’s this all about, Doctor? Why can’t I see my boy?”

“It’s complicated, Mr. Cartwright.”

Some would call me an ungracious host. I had no refreshments to offer the men until Adam pulled a bottle of whiskey from his saddlebag. He grabbed glasses from a nearby shelf and set them on the table. I poured.

“Your son was kept on the farm with five other boys approximately the same age. Their hair was dyed blonde and their original clothing was exchanged for a uniform as such, a white shirt, black pants, and suspenders.

They all looked the same from a distance and no one ever suspected they were anything but Johansson’s own boys. In fact, he was envied by many for having so many near-grown sons helping him work the farm.”

“So they were taken because the man needed slave labor?”

“Not exactly although they worked the farm as part of the experiment.”

Experiment. There was that word again but what did it mean? “What’s this all about, Doctor?”

“As far as I can tell, Johansson ran endurance tests that revolved around life’s necessities such as a fair amount of food and a fair amount of sleep; in other words, he gaged the boy’s endurance when they were starved and/or sleep deprived. We got that much out of his housekeeper, but after Johansson died unexpectedly from a seizure, she seemed willing to talk.

“The experiments were staggered in precise rotations. Three boys would go without food or sleep for a three-day period. They were only given water, but they were still forced to work the farm. They each had a counterpart— a boy similar in height and weight—who was given normal rations and a decent amount of sleep. Three boys on and three off you might

say. Food and sleep were reintroduced to the starving boys. Sometimes a full meal. Sometimes a crust of bread or hardtack. The results of the tests were recorded and then analyzed by an army doctor who visited the farm regularly.

“It’s a basic test of endurance, Mr. Cartwright. How long could a man—a would-be soldier—remain on his feet and do the work without sleep or provisions? How long could he continue fighting if rations were cut off or they’d become overly fatigued when engaged in battle?”

“But Joseph is only a boy.”

“In your eyes, he’s a boy, but for the army, he’s only a year or so shy of volunteering for active duty, and that’s why the tests are run on youngsters his age. Are they resilient enough to bounce back after certain hardships? How much stress can a man take before he collapses or gives up the fight? Five out of eight boys proved they were worthy of battle. Three of the eight young men didn’t survive the experiments and are buried in unmarked graves on the farm. Joseph is one of the lucky ones.

“That’s all I know so far, Mr. Cartwright. The boys refuse to talk, which tells me they were taught to keep silent if captured. Severe tactics are often used by the enemy to gain information. Perhaps beatings. Perhaps other forms of punishment and at this point, we’re seen as the enemy. No matter how cruelly they were treated, they’ve remained loyal to Johansson. It might sound harsh and it might sound unbelievable, but the boys counted on him for everything, and they followed his commands like any young private would obey his commanding officer.”

“Not Joseph. I’m sorry, Doctor, but I can’t believe Joe would rather live with a man and woman who mistreated him than with his brothers and me.”

“Let me continue then.” I stood from my chair. “I’ve heard enough. Please take me to my son.”

“Pa.” Adam stepped forward. “Let the doctor

finish.”

My eyes narrowed. Adam had no right.

“Just let me say this.” The doctor stood and matched my prolonged stare. “What I haven’t mentioned is how the boys were praised for their mastery of prolonged hardships. Like a father would praise his son for good grades or clever ingenuity when completing a difficult task.

“You have to understand that during the first few weeks of captivity, these boys were conditioned to believe that their new surroundings were the only home they’d ever known. Mind games, Mr. Cartwright. Memories they thought were valid were replaced with lies and deception of what they thought was true. Their past soon became a mythical dream, and memories of a previous life  vanished forever.”

“I think you’re wrong about Joseph but until I see for myself, I won’t know for sure, will I?”

The meeting wouldn’t take place until morning. Somehow, the doctor convinced me the five young men needed their sleep and that Joe might be more receptive during daylight hours. I conceded to his wishes. Tomorrow at nine o’clock at the Widow Brockton’s boarding house located on 4th and Main, I’d finally be reunited with my son.

“I’ll be there,” I’d said.

After a quiet dinner, the boys and I went back to the suite I thought the four of us would occupy that night. We’d ridden hard to Placerville and been bogged down by the Doctor’s one-sided conversation. I knew my son, and Joseph would never turn against his brothers and me. We were his family, not some man and woman pretending to be loving parents while they tortured and stripped my son of his dignity.

“It just don’t seem possible, Pa.”

“What’s that, Son?”

“All that doctor said about them boys. Little Joe’s a smart kid. He’d never accept another family as his own, would he?”

“It’s called conditioning,” Adam said before I could answer.

“I still don’t get it.”

“It’s not much different than breaking a horse. Eventually, the horse gives in. He’s gentled to the point that he’ll let a man strap on a heavy saddle and climb on his back. It’s not the life he was born to, but it’s the life he’s been made to endure.”

“You’re comparing Joe to a horse?”

“Okay, try this. A slave owner conditions healthy men and women to work for him without pay or a chance at freedom. As time passes, the slave becomes accustomed to his new life. His choices become evident. Work for the landowner or die trying to escape.”

Hoss looked to me for a different scenario although I was beginning to realize the difficulty of the situation after Adam explained his theory of conditioning. The doctor had offered information, but Adam had brought it home.

*

Chapter 3

The following morning, my sons were dressed and anxious to see their brother, but I asked that they stay behind. “I’ve thought this over, and maybe I should see Joseph alone. If everything the doctor said is true, I don’t want Joe overwhelmed by a bunch of strangers staring at him. And, if all goes well, I’ll bring Joseph back to the hotel, and we can all visit without interruption. Do you understand my thinking? Will you stay here till I get back?”

“If that’s what you want,” Adam said. And though his face was etched with sadness, Hoss would do as I asked without question. I pressed my hat firmly on my head but left my gun belt behind. When I heard movement behind me, I turned to find Hoss standing behind me. “Remember one thing, Pa. Just ‘cause a horse is broke don’t mean he’s lost his spirit.”

“I’ll remember that, Son.” No one could put life into perspective as well as my middle boy. He had a worldly sense about him that he might not share often but when he did, he was right on the mark.

During my walk to the boarding house, I fought back the urge to grab Joseph and run. Maybe that was a father’s instinct. Maybe it was fear of the unknown. Even though butterflies ripped through me, I kept my pace steady and focused on seeing my boy after three long years. How would he look? How much had he grown?

No longer a child who begged to be freed from the confines of a classroom had he stepped into a world he never knew existed. I’d been in the dark when it came to the United States Army. How could they justify their actions to families of the children they snatched off the street and put in labor camps where sustenance and God knows what else was taken away. How long had this been going on? These boys weren’t the first to endure such trauma.

There had to be more. I’d read horror stories of needless surgeries performed on unsuspecting slaves in the southern states. Without their consent, of course, doctors often used men and women as pawns under the guise of scientific research. Each act of brutality made my stomach turn, but it wasn’t that far removed from the army taking innocent young men and putting them through hell. A wooden shingle swung on a post alongside the boardwalk.

Brockton’s Boarding House. This was it. The time and place was now, and I climbed the porch steps. A gray-haired woman answered the door and asked my business.

“I’m Ben Cartwright, Joseph’s father.”

“I’m sorry, Sir. There’s no Joseph here.”

“But the doctor said …”

The old woman strained to look past me, and I turned to find Dr. Hershey heading up the walkway toward the house. With a short wave, he assured the woman of my identity.

“It’s all right, Margaret. Mr. Cartwright had come to see his son.”

The old woman backed away from the door. “My apologies if you will. You see, Mr. Cartwright,” she said in a lilting voice, “I don’t want no more harm coming to these boys. They’ve been through enough, and right under our noses. Dirty, rotten shame it is.”

Mrs. Brockton stepped farther to the right and showed us to her parlor. Crammed into the small space was enough seating for ten or more guests. No clutter and no little knickknacks gave the room a woman’s touch, but it was far from bare. It appeared more like an intimate conference room than an old woman’s parlor.

“Take a seat,” the doctor urged, “but I’ll warn you straight away. Joseph might be hesitant to see you.”

“Just bring the boy down.”

“May I offer you a cup of tea while you wait?”

“No thank you, Ma’am. I’m fine.”

Nerves got in the way of enjoying my breakfast, but I drank too much coffee. I woke early, as did my sons, and the wait seemed interminable. Cup after cup I drank and every inch of my body jittered in anticipation. It wasn’t only the coffee, though. I’d waited years for this day to arrive, three. Hellish years without Joseph.

I turned and stared out the front window. Spring flowers bloomed and buds on the trees were just beginning to open. The spring cattle drive was scheduled for a month from today. Our busiest time of the year was upon us, and I wanted Joe to be part of that life but was that even an option? After all, he’d been through, could he switch back to the dynamic boy he’d once been, excited to work with his brothers and eager to show that he could do the job as well as any other man on the ranch?

When the doctor cleared his throat, I turned my head and studied the white-haired boy standing beside him. His curls looked familiar, but it took a minute to register that it really could be Joe under that disguise. My boy was no longer a fourteen-year-old kid. He was seventeen now, and he’d grown a couple of inches though he was smaller in stature than a full-grown man. Thin but muscular. Not an ounce of fat. He stood with his hands to his sides and his eyes straight ahead, as though looking right through me. He didn’t move a muscle.

“Hello, Joseph.”

“Sir.”

Tears welled in my eyes. I wasn’t sure what to think or do. Would I frighten him if I stepped forward? Did he see me as the enemy? “It’s been a long time, Son.”

“Yes, Sir.”

The doctor stood next to Joe and my eyes met his. He gave a curt nod and I moved forward.

“Would you mind if we sat and talked for a while? Would you like that?”

“That’s a fine idea,” said the doctor. “You sit here, Joseph. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me, but you’ll be fine here with Mr. Cartwright.”

“Yes, Sir.”

I moved within a couple of feet of my son. “Mind if I sit beside you?”

There wasn’t an answer, but there wasn’t a protest either, and after Joe sat down, I did the same. “Your brothers, Hoss and Adam, are waiting back at the hotel.” With his eyes, still looking passed me, set on some inanimate object, I found myself rambling. “I’m sure you remember your brother, Adam. He brought you on the horse-buying trip to Placerville. He’s the last person you saw before …

“If that wasn’t a stupid thing to say. “And Hoss. Hoss hasn’t stopped smiling since we heard you were still alive. Would you like to see your brothers? They’re very anxious to see you.”

Again, no answer but Joe’s watery green eyes told me he remembered his life before captivity. What had he been told about his birth family and how did he think about us now? “I assure you, Little Joe” —maybe the nickname Hoss had given him at birth would strike a chord— “your brothers and I mean you no harm.”

Though I wanted to grab Joseph in a bear hug and never let go, I knelt down on one knee instead and reached for his hands. I’d never felt so unsure of myself before. Was it wrong to want to touch him, to hold him in my arms and tell him how much he meant to me and how I’d longed for this day, a momentous day marked with so much happiness, I felt giddy and it wasn’t just the coffee. It was a day of miracles.

Ezra Hershey had been eavesdropping. He leaned against the doorframe behind Joe, and a hearty smile widened his facial features when Joe hadn’t pushed me away. He happily patted the door jamb before leaving us alone once again.

“Would you like to see your brothers?”

Joe nodded and pushed up from his chair. Knowing our meeting could’ve taken a different direction; Joseph’s slight act of enthusiasm overwhelmed me. I stood and called for the doctor.

“Joe would like to visit with his brothers,” I said when Ezra rushed in from the kitchen. His furrowed brow and look of uncertainty took me by surprise.

“Do you think that’s wise?”

“I do.”

“Will you be back?”

“I can’t say.”

“All right. I’m here if you need me.”

I held out my hand. “Thank you for everything, Doctor.”

I followed Joe out the door to the front porch where he held his face toward the sun and breathed in deeply. I wasn’t sure what it meant and I didn’t ask. There would be plenty of time for questions after we got him settled and he was able to speak freely.

“Should we go? The hotel is just down the street on the corner.”

Joe didn’t walk beside me. He followed in step behind and again, I didn’t ask why. Politeness and following orders, and Adam’s word conditioning came back to haunt me. How much army regiment had been instilled in my son?

Whether he’d been beaten into submission, starved, or plagued by sleepless nights, I didn’t have all the answers. All I could do was count my blessings. My boy was alive and well, and we could deal with the consequences of his captivity later.

Hoss and Adam stood outside the hotel. The wait had been hard for them, but they’d done as I asked and stayed put. I could see hope in their eyes but a sense of worry took over as I approached. Not until I stopped and stepped aside did they notice their young brother standing behind me.

Hoss was the first to speak. “Hey, Big Shorty!

It’s good to see you.”

Joe forced a smile. I could tell he was unsure but did his best to please.

“It’s been a long time.” Adam’s deep baritone held sadness. He blamed himself for Joe’s disappearance, and guilt wore at him like a splinter lodged deep under the skin. “It’s good to have you back.”

Joe acknowledged his brothers with a curt nod before dipping his chin to his chest and clasping his hands behind his back. Could he possibly feel inferior? Had his value as a strong but sensitive human being been stripped from him until he was unable to think or do for himself without asking permission?

Did we mean anything to him? Could he even remember how things were before Johansson? We’d missed so many years together. He’d been a child when Adam brought him on the trip—a trip of a lifetime for Joe—so excited by the prospect of helping his big brother pick new stock for the ranch. My elder sons and I returned home empty-handed after Joe’s disappearance. Luke Havens’ fine horses had lost their importance.

“Okay, let’s go upstairs and get comfortable.” 

After unlocking the door to our suite, I let Joseph enter first. “Take it slow,” I whispered to my elder sons. “Give him time to adjust.”

We stood just inside the door and watched as Joe ran his fingertips along the satin spread before clutching the upright at the foot of the bed. He scanned all four walls, each chair and picture, the fireplace, and bedrooms beyond his sight. Even the carpet on the floor where he slid the sole of his boot back and forth appeared to have special meaning. He walked toward the window and looked at the street below. Everything he touched and everything he looked at seemed to pique his interest. He turned and stared at the three of us still standing like intruding spectators by the hotel door.

“Let’s sit down. We have a lot of catching up to do.” Again, Joe hesitated.  “Over here, Son. Any chair you wish.”

When he didn’t move, I crossed the room and gently touched my hand to his back. I guided him to one of the brocade chairs and took the matching one next to him. He seemed fine with me so far, and I didn’t want him overwhelmed or intimidated by his two much larger brothers. Adam and Hoss chose the settee across from us, but silence filled the room until Hoss asked the first question. “You remember Cochise, don’t you, Little Joe? I have been grooming him all this time and Adam rode him some, but he ain’t the same as when you’re there feeding him bits of sugar and carrots from Hop Sing’s garden.”

Joseph smiled, and I wanted to praise Hoss for knowing just what to say to break the ice. The situation felt awkward. The time apart changed us in ways we wouldn’t have noticed had we been together. Adam and Hoss were men and Joseph—the boy—was no longer. At seventeen, he’d come into his own, the cusp of manhood, which made it difficult to move the conversation forward. I’d lost three years of his life. How could I reacquaint myself to the man he’d become?

The boys and I made small talk hoping Joe might join in. We talked about the ranch and about the upcoming drive. How we still hadn’t hired drovers and should get that done as soon as we returned home. Hoss mentioned Hop Sing’s good cooking and how he’d convinced him to man the chuckwagon this year, but nothing seemed to phase Joe. He listened but never added to the conversation.

I decided he’d heard enough of our ramblings about things that seemed foreign to him. “How about lunch?” I’d skipped breakfast and hunger had set in. “Anyone hungry?”

“I could use a bite,” Adam said.

“Me too.” I glanced sideways at Hoss. No matter what time of day, Hoss was game for a good hot meal.

“Can you eat something, Joe?”

“Yes, Sir.”

We gathered our gun belts and hats, and then I wondered if Joe’s “yes” had been truthful or just the right thing to say. I couldn’t read my son’s curt answers. “Yes, Sir. No, Sir. Thank you, Sir.” The formality was overwhelming.  We walked toward The Lost Wages Saloon. “We had supper here last night. Good food.”

After finding an empty table, I took the liberty of ordering. “Four nice thick steaks and all the fixin’s.”

“Comin’ right up.”

“Oh, and four cold beers.” When our drinks arrived, Hoss and Adam and I drank heartily but not Joe. He stared at the frothy mug and up at me. “Try it, Son.”

I hoped by ordering an alcoholic beverage, Joe felt that I considered him as much of a man as his brothers, and when he lifted the glass to his lips and sipped the golden ale, a small line of foam lingered on his upper lip.

“Good,” he said. “Thank you, Sir.”

As far as I knew, Joe had never been inside a saloon, and he’d never tasted alcohol. This was a first for him. A step into manhood whether he was ready or not. To my knowledge, he’d never been allowed to leave Johansson’s farm. The boys were held captive, prisoners, cheap labor for a man who tried to drive his son to the brink. Whatever else took place, I wanted to keep hidden away, but I had to know the truth before I could have my son whole again.

The plates were delivered, one for each of us and Hoss dug right in. Adam picked up his knife and fork but studied his young brother who’d kept his hands in his lap as though he wasn’t sure what to do.

“Go ahead, Son. Try your steak.”

A clear picture was beginning to form. Ask permission first. Don’t think for yourself or take initiative of any kind. Obey orders or pay the consequences. Joe had been forced to live like an animal, unthinking and unfeeling. Not a prized stallion, but a lowly swaybacked mare that could easily be discarded and replaced by another.

We had a lot of work ahead of us. Conditioning. I’d grown to hate that word, but if Joe had been conditioned to that kind of life, he could be conditioned back into our world too. A man with confidence. A man who held his head high. A man who called himself Cartwright. That was my Little Joe, and I vowed to bring him back.

Leaving Placerville would count as the first day of Joseph’s future. With a family that loved and nurtured him, it wouldn’t take long before Joe’s old self returned. When suppertime rolled around, we had food delivered to our room, and what we noticed after two meals with Joe, was how his appetite for good, healthy food seemed lacking. He barely touched his lunch; he’d moved more food around on his plate than he put in his mouth, and the same thing happened at supper. I ordered four servings of beef stew and a full loaf of bread. He devoured the crusty bread but offered his stew to Hoss. It made me wonder if the boys had survived mainly on army rations of jerky and hardtack rather than substantial meals of vegetables and meat.

All things in time. My questions would have to wait. Soon after supper, I showed Joe which bed he could use. “This okay or would you rather sleep in the other room?”

“Sir?”

“Which bed, Son?” Joe shook his head. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Panic filled his eyes and I didn’t know why. “I thought you’d stay here with your brothers and me tonight rather than the boardinghouse with the other boys. Is that a problem?”

Joe fell to his knees and after wrapping his arms around his mid-section, he rocked back and forth. I knelt down beside him. “Tell me, Joe. Tell me what’s wrong.” Violently, he shook his head. He laced his fingers together as if to pray. When I reached for his shoulders, he jerked forward and collapsed into a tight ball of flesh and bone.

“I’m sorry, Son. What did I do? What did I say?”

Adam and Hoss stood in the doorway watching Joe’s bizarre behavior. I looked at them both and realized they knew nothing more than their brother had become fearful and afraid of my touch. Again, I was at a loss.

“Joseph? Can you hear me, Boy?”

“I’ll go back.  I’ll go back.”

“With the boys?”

He nodded and nearly knocked my elder sons down when he stood and dashed toward the hotel door.

“Joe! Wait!” With fever-red cheeks, drops of sweat dotted his forehead. He’d lost all control of his breathing. “Are you afraid? Again, his head bobbed up and down. “Are you afraid of me?”  No answer.  “Afraid to be away from the other boys?”

“I’m sorry, Sir. I won’t do it again.”

I moved toward the door but stopped short of touching the frightened little boy my son had become. “Won’t do what, Joseph?”

“Please, Sir.”

“What is it, Son?”

“I will obey. I will obey. I will obey.”

When Joe collapsed to the floor and covered his white-blonde hair with both hands, I glanced at my elder sons before kneeling down on one knee.

“I’d never hurt you, Joseph. Never.”

The faint sound of Joe’s sobs shattered my heart in ways I hadn’t felt since the day we’d left Placerville without him nearly three years ago. My boy had been broken. Whether he’d been shamed or beaten only time and deep conversation would tell, but I needed something now, some way of proving he was safe with me.

“Johansson is dead, Joseph. He can’t punish you ever again.” I had to get through. I had to make him understand. “Your brothers and I are here to protect you. No one can hurt you now.”

The sobs that racked his body softened, but his tortured soul kept him balled in a fetal position. His hands slid down from his head and he clasped them just under his chin as if the god of his youth might help, but God had let him down. The god I prayed to every night for his return had turned his back on Joe Cartwright.

“I want to help you, Son. I want to make you feel whole again.” Slowly, he rose, but the defeated look on his face broke my heart once again. “It’s been a long day, Joseph. You’re exhausted.”

His red-rimmed eyes glistened as he tried to look me straight on. So slight in stature, so tired and thin, that a good gust of wind could have carried him off to the next county. I guided him into the bedroom and pulled back the blanket so he could crawl in. When he kicked off his boots and slipped under the covers fully dressed, I wished I’d brought a nightshirt, but that was one more item— insignificant at this stage—he’d probably lived without. I turned the wick down low, said goodnight, and met with my elder sons in the drawing room. Mentally, I was drained.

“You okay, Pa?”

“I don’t know, Hoss. I honestly don’t know.”

“Remember what you told Hoss and me earlier.” I looked up at Adam. “You asked us to take it slow.”

“He seems so lost and afraid.”

“I’m sure he is. This is all new to him. He’s been under a watchful eye for so long,  everyone he comes in contact with poses a potential threat.”

“You think I’m a threat to my own son?”

“That’s not what I said but put yourself in Joe’s shoes. The man he looked to for his continued existence is dead. Whether we want to face it or not, Joe counted on that man for food, for the nights they let him sleep, and for things we may never know about. He had a connection with Johansson and the connection between you and Hoss and me has been lost.”

“I understand that, Adam, and I’ve tried everything to get him to trust me again, but I’m failing to get through. I failed him when I let him go on that horse-buying trip. I should’ve known he was too young to be away from home and yet I let him go.”  Without another word, Adam stood, strapped on his gun belt, and picked up his hat. “Where do you think you’re going?

“Three years ago, I said I was sorry. I’ll always be sorry. Joe was my responsibility and your roundabout way of blaming yourself only makes it harder to forget that I’m the guilty party. I’m done here, Pa. I’ve had enough.”

The hotel door slammed in our faces. “Adam! Wait!”

“It’s too late, Pa.”

One son found, another one gone. “I never blamed Adam. Not once. I don’t understand why he brought this up now.”

Leaning forward in his chair, Hoss’s hands fell between his knees. He rubbed his palms together and stared at the carpeted floor. “I think I do.”

“Then please inform your father.”

Hoss stood from his chair. “Adam’s been carrying a heavy load, Pa. For three years, he’s blamed hisself and maybe … just maybe it’s all come to a head.”

“I never blamed him for Joe’s disappearance.”

“Maybe not in words but deep down, he don’t see it like that. No matter what was said, he feels he’s the guilty party.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Is it?”

*

Chapter 4

Since I didn’t want Joseph awakened by Hoss’s cantankerous snores, I’d been forced to share a bed with my overgrown son. Adam would’ve shared Joe’s bed, but Joe slept alone. Being his first night back, maybe that was for the best.

With the sun barely skimming the horizon, Hoss woke early without my knowing. When I swung my feet to the floor, I noticed he’d dressed and stood in the doorway.

 “We got problems, Pa.”

“It’s too early for problems.” I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and pushed up from the bed. “What is it, Son?”

“Little Joe ain’t here.”

“Ain’t here?”

“I checked everywhere and he ain’t here. He’s gone.”

I sighed overloud, rubbed my face again, and looked toward Hoss. “I need to shave and dress and … and see if we can find one or both of your brothers. Maybe you can check the livery. See if Sport is still stabled.”

“Will do.”

Nightmares come in all shapes and sizes, but this nightmare was real. Two missing sons. Their reasons for running were different although they stemmed from that same awful day. A family disrupted by my own country’s greed for answers. A young man was tortured in the name of science; his sibling was tortured by guilt.

When Hoss returned to the suite, I had just finished my morning ritual and was ready to head out. “What did you find?”

“His horse is still there.”

“Good.

“I found out something else too.”

“Oh?” My eldest stepped through the doorway. “Adam.” I moved closer and rested my hands on his shoulders like I used to with Joe when I wanted him to pay close attention. When he didn’t shrug me off, I took it as a good sign. “If I ever implied that you were to blame, it wasn’t my intention.”

Adam took a step back and my arms fell to my sides. “Joe was my responsibility. I let him slip away. It is what it is, Pa.”

“You’re wrong, Son. You told me he went to the outhouse, which was behind the main house. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes.”

“Then how were you to know? Use your head, Adam. The same thing would’ve happened to Hoss or to me. Am I right?”

“Perhaps.”

“You know I’m right, and it’s time you changed your thinking. You’re not to blame. No one’s to blame but Johansson.”

“If you say so.”

“I say so. Now, we have to find Joseph. Did Hoss tell you?”

“He did.”

“Then let’s go.”

“No need, Pa.”

My hands flew to my hips. “What?”

“He’s back at the boarding house. I watched him go inside around midnight.”

“Why would he do that? Why would he leave?”

“I don’t have all the answers, but my guess is that Joe thinks that’s where he belongs.”

What in God’s name had those boys been through? What had they been told? “Okay.  Let’s head back to the boardinghouse.”

The three of us marched down the street, and I knocked on the front door. To my surprise, Dr. Hershey answered and waved us in. “I guess you figured out where Joseph was.” I nodded. “The boys are still in their rooms. Let’s sit in the kitchen so we’re not overheard.”

After taking seats at one end of the long table, the widow brought coffee and cups and set them next to the doctor. He poured before he talked.

“Well?” I said. “I suppose you have all the answers.” Realizing how gruff I sounded, I changed the tone of my voice. “I’m sorry. It’s been a long night.”

“I understand, but there are things you need to know before you press on, Mr. Cartwright.”

“I’m listening.”

“I may not have all the answers, but I’ve seen this type of behavior before. I hate to use the word acclimatized, but it fits this type of situation. The boys were trained to behave. Step out of line and face the consequences. I doubt you had a chance to see your son’s wrists or ankles, am I right?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“He still wears scars where iron cuffs were attached to keep him in line. I don’t know all the details. I’ve had less than a week with the boys, and I’m just beginning to get answers to my questions. There was a penalty for any type of disruption in the project and several forms of punishment I didn’t mention earlier. The cuffs were mainly used when the boys were first taken although … a defiant child wore them longer than most. The boys were often beaten into submission. Initially, food and sleep were withheld. It didn’t take long for most of the young men to become fevered and delirious. At that point, Johansson introduced hot broth and sips of cool water back into their diet. The boys were so grateful for anything he gave them, they soon realized it was to their benefit to do as he or the woman instructed.”

Without comment, my sons and I soaked in everything the doctor said. I had a question, though. “What about this woman? She was his housekeeper, right?”

“The sheriff said she’d been hired on as a housekeeper and cook after he signed a five-year lease on the ranch that old man Carter owned but let me get back to the boys.”

Did I want to hear all the graphic details? For the sake of Joe’s recovery, I had no choice but to say, “Go on.”

“The boys worked the farm from sunup to sundown. During the winter months, they chopped enough wood for an army, tended the few animals on the place, and were taught to survive under grueling conditions. How well could they withstand frigid temperatures if stripped of their clothing and forced to remain chained outside overnight? It’s a common tactic used by the Plains Indians. In the summer months, the boys were stripped and staked to the ground in sweltering conditions. Anything and everything was used for the project and recorded for the army doctor to evaluate.

“They were grouped in sets of two. Joseph and Andy McDaniel have become closer than brothers. They care a great deal for each other. You see, Mr. Cartwright, while one suffered through endless hours of … say … chopping wood, chained outdoors, and starved, the other boy was well fed, had eight hours of sleep, and was given light duties such as toting water for the woman or helping to prepare meals, a degrading form of women’s work but not life-threatening.

“The boys were nothing but experimental bodies of mind and flesh. Carl Johansson noted in well-kept journals how the boys reacted to stimuli—lack of food, sleep, or severe weather conditions, which would benefit the army by knowing just how far they could push their troops before delirium or death sent them to an early grave.”

“I’ve never heard of anything so wretched and deprived in all my years. Young men,” I said. “Who gave Johansson the right to abuse my son or any other boy he captured, restrained, and treated worse than an animal?”

“The U.S. Army. Johansson wasn’t a fraud. He had a job to do, and orders to carry out. He did what his commanding officer instructed him to do.”

I heard too much. The mental picture had become too hard to swallow. I tried to keep my sons safe and I failed. Could we make up for lost time or was Joseph damaged for life? “What do we do now? Why did Joseph leave the suite and run back to the boardinghouse last night?”

“As I tried to explain, Joseph has been linked to Andy for three years. They’ve become brothers in a sense. One looks after the other. They care about each other. They fight for each other. They’re a team.”

“And if we break up the team?”

“I can’t say for sure, but I feel that’s why Joseph returned last night. To make sure his “brother” was safe.”

“May we see him?”

“Of course. Why don’t you move into the parlor and I’ll bring him down.” My sons and I rose from the table. Hoss had tears in his eyes, but Adam was livid. His jaw muscles worked feverishly though he kept his thoughts to himself. In fact, none of us spoke.

We moved into the parlor as instructed. No questions asked. Is that how Joe had reacted to the orders given by Johansson or had he been chained and beaten every day? Joe was an easy-going child, but an inborn defiance of rules had plagued him since birth.

The three of us stood when Joseph entered the room. His chin fell to his chest and he clasped his hands behind his back as if submitting to a wrongdoing. Did he think I would punish him for leaving the hotel? Is that what ran through his mind?

“Good morning, Son.”

“Morning, Sir.”

“Have you eaten breakfast yet?”

“No, Sir.”

“Neither have we. What say we go grab a bite?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Do you think Andy would like to come with us?”

Joe’s head popped up and a smile made his high cheekbones come to life. “Yes, Sir.”

“Tell him to hurry up. I can’t hold Hoss off much longer.”

As Joe raced up the stairs to their room, there was a brief reminiscence of the Joe I used to know. A happy child. A child so full of pent-up energy, I never thought he’d slow down. I flashed a smile at my elder sons.

“Good thinking, Pa. Guess we’ll get to meet Joe’s other brother.”

I chuckled at Hoss’s ease over a tragic situation. It felt good to let down my guard if only for a minute. After the five of us stepped outside the boardinghouse, Adam pointed to a small café halfway down the block. I turned toward my youngest son. “Will this be all right, Joseph?”

“Yes, Sir.”

Similar in height and weight, the two white-headed boys picked one side of the table, and my sons and I took seats directly across. If nothing else, I wanted to study the boys and see how they interacted with each other. The big difference between yesterday and today was noting the smile on Joe’s face, Andy’s too. There were more similarities. Both boys had curly hair and pearl-white teeth. Each had broad shoulders and slim waists. If they wore the same size boots, I wouldn’t be surprised. They could easily pass for brothers.

I didn’t know which boy was taken first, but I realized that a second young man with similar attributes was essential for Johansson’s research. And, if they’d been inseparable for three years, who was I to change things up now?

Hoss and Adam’s eyes remained glued to the boys also. Joe and Andy fed off each other, and almost complimented each other, in ways I didn’t understand. As if we were nowhere in sight, they played by a set of rules that was foreign to me. They talked in code, a reserved form of prattle they’d developed over their years in captivity.

Maybe I was losing my mind, but different scenarios began running through my head. Had Andy been taken from parents who loved him or had he been left to his own devices by some unforeseen event? There were questions to be asked and answered before I let my thinking travel down a path I’d have to discuss with my elder sons before saying anything to Joe and his friend.

With breakfast finished, I asked the boys if they’d like a new set of clothes. “Your choice,” I said. “I’m buying.” Between the white hair and the stark black and white uniforms they were forced to wear, they stood out in a crowd like circus performers.

“You mean it, Sir? Me and Andy both?”

“You bet I do, Son. Let’s get to shopping.”

I stepped between the two young men, draped my arms across their shoulders, and marched them straight to the mercantile. I let them rummage through the stacks of shirts and pants alone but they each picked out the same outfits, gray shirts, tan pants, and black boots.

“Perhaps you should get a couple of each.” I held up different colored shirts, but they weren’t interested in my selections. They each grabbed another gray shirt and a second pair of tan pants. Not wanting to rock the boat, I picked up four pairs of socks and long johns and reached for my wallet.

“Will that be all, Sir?”

When I glanced over my shoulder at the boys, they stood in front of a looking glass trying on hats. “Not quite.” I leaned my back against the counter and watched the interaction.

Again came the whispered talk, but with a hint of laughter this time. “You boys find what you need?”

They placed the hats back on the pile and stepped forward. “Yes, Sir.”

“Don’t you boys need hats?”

Joe’s smile lit up his face, and he pulled Andy back to the stack where each boy picked out a black hat and centered it over their dominant eye, Joe’s slightly to the left and Andy’s to the right, the only real difference between them. Whether they wanted to look alike or assumed they had to, I wasn’t sure, but I didn’t want to dampen the mood with fatherly suggestions. There’d be time for that later.

Adam and Hoss had wandered out to the boardwalk while the boys shopped. There’d be much to discuss that evening but for now, I just wanted to see Joseph happy. I wanted to see him smile and know he was free to do as he pleased.

“I have an errand to run,” I said after stepping outside. Four sets of eyes looked my way. “Think you can find something to do for an hour or so?”

“I think we can manage, Pa.” I could always count on Adam. Maybe he already knew what I had in mind. My eldest was intuitive that way.

“I’ll meet you in front of The Lost Wages in an hour.”

“Good enough, Pa.”

I patted Hoss’s shoulder. “Thank you, Son.”

I hurried back to the boardinghouse to speak to the doctor. I needed to know my options before I spoke to my sons. Margaret Brockton let me inside. “Is the doctor still here?”

“We just sat down for coffee and cake. Come along, Mr. Cartwright. There’s plenty for all.”

“Back so soon, Mr. Cartwright?”

“Call me Ben, Doctor.”

“Ben.”

I pulled out a chair and was served coffee and cake before I had a chance to refuse the offer. “I’m curious about Andy.”

“He’s a fine boy, Ben. Polite … well, they’re all polite. Drilled into them for years, but what’s your question?”

“Does he have parents to go home to?”

“The sheriff sent telegrams to all the folks who’d contacted him after their sons went missing, but I’m afraid he only received three return wires. From what I gather from Andy, he ran away from an abusive father about six or eight months before Johansson found him and hauled him out to the farm. Red couldn’t find an address for the boy’s father, and I seriously doubt he’d want to go back anyway. Why do you ask?”

I leaned forward and laced my fingers on top of the table. “There’s a definite connection between Joe and Andy and I thought … well, maybe if I kept them together for a while, the transition back to the Ponderosa might be easier for my son.”

“You make a good point, Ben. You’re probably right, but what happens to Andy when the transition is complete? Will you send him packing?”

“I don’t know. I mean, there’s plenty of room and there are always jobs available if he’d want to stay on as a ranch hand. No, I’d never send him packing unless he stole from me or hurt someone intentionally. It would be his choice whether he stayed or moved on.”

“Have you spoken to him about this?”

“No. I wanted to know all the facts before I said anything to anyone.”

“You’re a wise man, Ben, but you might want to check with Red just to make sure he’s in agreement.”

“Fine. I’ll do that now.” Breakfast still weighed heavy. I drained my cup of coffee but left the piece of cake untouched. The doctor and I both stood. I shook his hand and headed down to see the sheriff.

With his boots propped on the desk, Red swung his feet to the floor and sat up straight when I walked through the door. “Morning, Mr. Cartwright. What can I do for you?”

His red hair glowed like a lamp post; such contrast to the two white-headed boys I’d been with earlier. I took the chair in front of him and propped my elbows on his desk.

“Couple of questions, Sheriff.”

“Shoot.”

“We’ll be leaving tomorrow, and Dr. Hershey says that one of the boys, Andy McDaniel, doesn’t have family to go back to.”

“If you mean a drunk for a father, can’t say I’d be anxious to return to a bum like that either.”

“That’s my point. I’d like to take the boy home with Joe and me.”

“What’s that? You serious?”

“Yes, I am. He and my son, Joseph, are … should I say special friends and I’d hate to separate them. Maybe on down the road but for now, I’d like to keep them together.” “It don’t matter none to me. If you want him, take him. That’s one less boy I have to find a home for.”

“Good. It’s settled then. Joe and Andy will leave town with me tomorrow.” All I had to do now was convince Hoss and Adam that the arrangement would be best for everyone. None of my sons stood outside the saloon when I’d finished my business with Red and Doc Hershey. When I glanced inside, they sat, each holding a beer in their hands. That wasn’t the plan, but when I heard a high-pitched giggle, I smiled and stepped through the batwings. I placed my hands on my hips and used my gruffest voice. “Is this what goes on when I’m not around?”

Joe and Andy sat their mugs down and stood to attention. “Sorry, Sir.”

“Me too, Sir.”

With an oversized smile and a fisted hand, I gently punched my son’s shoulder. “Don’t let me stop you. Bartender,” I hollered and waved my hat. “Another round for the boys and a cold one for me.”

Not until I joined them at the table did Joe and Andy return to their seats. Their sheepish looks vanished and the party was back on track.

“You get your business out of the way?”

“Yes, I did, Adam.”

“We dropped the packages off at the hotel and ended up here. Hoss said a little dessert after breakfast never hurt no one.”

“Is that what this is? Dessert?”

“You bet, Pa. Should’ve been here earlier. Little Joe’s been telling me and Adam some pretty tall tales. He sure ain’t lost his sense of humor.”

“Nothing wrong with a cool beer and tall tales, right boys?” The other side of the coin might be that Joe and Andy felt freer without me around. God knows I didn’t want to come through as the enemy. “I thought you boys would’ve changed into your new clothes.” Frightened and cowering is the best way to describe the look on their faces. “No big deal. Maybe tomorrow.”

Without realizing, I’d said the wrong thing again. They’d been made to wear the same clothing for three years. They hadn’t been given a choice and I understood that now. Was I introducing a normal way of life too fast? New clothes. Drinking beer in a saloon. Sleeping with a family he barely recognized. Today had been an entirely new experience for them and they were unsure. The tall tales ended when I joined the party, the boys hesitated to say more, but Hoss picked up the slack.

“I can’t wait to get you back home, Joseph. You remember Hop Sing?” Joe tilted his head to the side, but Hoss continued. “He’s our cook, Little Brother. Known you since the day you were born, and he’ll make all your favorites. Just wait and see. Fried chicken and chocolate cake. Remember Hop Sing’s chocolate cake? It’s good eating, Boy.”

The look on Joe’s face was still there, somber and unsure. If that look didn’t change when I mentioned Andy coming home with us, I wasn’t sure where we’d go from there. I needed to sit down with Hoss and Adam soon.

“When you young men are finished, we need to stock up on supplies for the trip.”

“We leaving tomorrow, Pa?”

“I think so, Hoss.”

“Good. I’m about half tired of this town.”

“You just want to get back to Hop Sing’s cooking.”

“It ain’t just that, Adam, right, Little Joe? You’re ready to leave, ain’t you?”

Joe glanced at Hoss and returned his gaze back to his half-full mug of beer. There wasn’t a ready answer as Hoss had hoped, and he turned his attention to me. I didn’t have answers yet either.

*

Chapter 5

We dropped the boys back at the boarding house and said we’d be back at six to take them to supper. Hoss and Adam and I went back to the suite but before I could lay out my proposal, Adam made his assumption known.

“We’re taking both boys home with us, aren’t we?”

I chuckled at his gift of presuming. My son knew me well. “What do you boys think?”

“Fine with me,” Hoss said. “Seems like they’re kinda joined at the hip.”

“I assume that’s the errand you ran earlier.”

“I talked to the doctor and the sheriff. Both agreed it might be for the best.”

“Then it’s set, right?” Hoss was the easy child. He rarely thought past the present and if it made Joe happy, there was no other way to go.

“What do you think, Adam?”

“Like Hoss said. They’re joined at the hip, but what about Andy? Have you talked to him?”

“No. I wanted your input first.” I explained the drunken father, and that the boy had run away from home not long before Johansson got his hands on him.

“It’s your house. I have no objection.”

“It’s our house, Adam, and I want us all to be in agreement.  Are we?”  Both boys nodded.  “Good. We’ll speak to Joe and Andy during supper.”

“Why don’t Hoss and I go down to the livery and see what horses he has for sale.”

I considered Adam’s statement and changed my mind about the discussion I needed to have with the boys. “Maybe I should talk to the boys now rather than at supper. Depending on how things go, we can purchase the right amount of supplies and stock for the trip.”

“Makes sense to me,” Hoss said. “Let’s go.”

We marched back to the boarding house, and I asked Margaret Brockton if we could have a few minutes in the parlor alone with Andy and Joe. She agreed and hollered up the stairs to the boys. Down they came like soldiers obeying orders.

“It ain’t time to eat again, is it, Sir?”

“No, Little Joe.” Joe struggled to eat and the thought of more food had probably made him half sick to his stomach. “Have a seat, will you? I have a proposition to make.” The two sat together on the sofa. My elder sons and I faced them. “How would you both like to come home with Adam and Hoss and me to the Ponderosa? We have plenty of room and plenty of work to keep you both busy.”

Andy didn’t seem sure, but Joseph was another story. Joe seemed thrilled but how about his look-alike partner? “How does that sound to you, Young Man?”

Had the term “work” frightened him? Did it sound too much like Johansson’s farm? Andy seemed fearful and only Joe could explain … if he remembered enough to do so. “Have you ever told your friend about the Ponderosa, Little Joe?”

“No, Sir.”

“Do you remember the home you shared with your brothers and me before you were taken?”

“I … I’m not sure.”

“Do you remember anything at all?”

“School.  I hated school.”

My elder sons hid their smiles. “Anything else?”

“Riding Cochise. A lake. A big lake.”

“Good. That’s good, Son. Do you remember anything about the house?”

Joe seemed deep in thought. “Safe.” His answer was unexpected, but I was overjoyed by his response. “A good place. A happy place.”

“It can be a happy place again, Joseph.”

Andy leaned in and whispered in his partner’s ear, and Joe came away smiling. “You want both of us to go with you?”

“We certainly do.”

“Tomorrow?”

“That’s right.”

“Okay.”

“Good. It’s all set then. Why don’t you and Andy go with Adam down to the livery and pick out a couple of mounts for the trip? Hoss and I will gather up supplies so we can leave bright and early in the morning.”

I wasn’t sure what I’d taken on. I watched Joe and Andy’s faces light up, and that was all I needed to see. Whether right or wrong, good or bad, the decision had been made, and I hoped we were doing what was best for both boys. Any problems that lay ahead—and I knew they laid in wait—we’d tackle them as a family, a rock-solid family like Andy had never known.

Though I longed to gather my son in my arms and hold him tight to my chest, was it too soon to show such affection? I was unsure about so many things that used to feel natural and now seemed awkwardly out of place. The boy who once thrived on love and acceptance, was he the same young man who sat in front of me smiling at his friend rather than at his brothers or me? Could the love and dedication to the family Joe had once known ever be equaled again? Tomorrow, the adventure would begin, an overnight campsite and sleeping on the cold, hard ground, and then home to the Ponderosa. Adjustments would be made and God willing, both boys would settle in and become good, upstanding young men. That’s all any father could hope for. Their future was in my hands, mine and Adam and Hoss, and I prayed we were up to the task.

The End
2020

The next story in this series: – The Farm #2